Sorry for the pathetic blog headline. I must admit I hate titles like that – it’s all very ‘shock-jock’, designed to illicit outrage and reaction – and I promise I’ll do better next time.
Hmmmmn hang on, maybe that has come out wrong.
I’m not suggesting the title of this post will cause mass condemnation – I mean lets face it, it’s pretty tame – I was referring to post that have titles like ‘All dogs should be destroyed because all dogs are potential violent killers’.
Jesus, what am I going on about?
It’s not like you care … hell, even I don’t really give a shit.
Anyway the point of this post [or attempted point] is that having read Mr M’s rant about male hair protection, I saw this ad in Hong Kong …
There are so many things I love about this ad …
Of course the headling, ‘DANCE WITH HAIR’ is my absolute fave bit. I mean, how bloody genius is that?
I would kill to know how they came up with that line.
Did it come from quite possibly the greatest male haircare insight ever uncovered … or was because the copywriter was drunk and had Dancing With The Stars on in the background?
Then there’s the fact the bloke in the ad is wearing a bloody hat.
Surely an ad talking about dancing with hair should feature a man … errrrrm, dancing with hair?
Maybe that’s why they got the bloke to do some Michael Jackson, circa 1984, dance move – fuck with people’s head so much that they can’t work out what is going on.
Of course there is one answer that could tie all this madness together … the company behind this ‘hairloss treatment’ is a HAT MANUFACTURER.
Lets look at the facts …
1 They talk about DANCING WITH HAIR – but they don’t actually say you will be dancing with MORE hair
2 The ad features a man WEARING A HAT when there’s no real point to it
3 Their ‘tagline’ – HAIRLOSS HELPER – is so ambiguous it could be for anything, from hair treatment, to hats to pillow stuffing companies
4 A hat can cover male baldness just as well as a wig [though you look abit daft wearing it in bed]
So when when you connect all the clues, you start to realise this may not be one of those shitty Asian ads [which is just like those shitty Western ads] it could be an example of real creative and strategic genius – the sort of thing that should win an Effie, not just acclaim on my highly regarded [cough, cough, splutter, splutter] blog.
Hell, despite having been a baldy-bastard for so long that I can’t even remember having hair, I might call them up myself …
Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …
Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …
Brrrrrring Brrrrrring …
“Hello, is that the Hairloss Helpers?
I said, is that Hairloss Helpers?
Do you speak English?
Does anyone there speak English?
OK I’ll wait …
Dum-de-dum-de-dum
Hello? Do you speak English?
Cool, is this the number for Hairloss Helpers?
It is?
Brilliant … I was wondering if you could help me …”
[Cut to a calender with the pages being ripped off to denote time passing]
Oh my God I cannot tell you how much better I feel.
I feel alive …
I feel free …
I feel like I want to dance …
Shit, it really does work!!!