Hotel advertising pisses me off.
Actually, hotel marketing as a whole tends to make me want to kill.
[Some examples that cause my blood pressure to rise from a thousand paces can be seen here / here and here]
Of course there’s the odd nice idea [and no, I’m not just including the stuff we’ve worked on, haha] however in the main it tends to all be contrived, clichéd wank aimed at making low self esteem business twat/wannabe’s feel good about themselves.
Just recently the Marriott Hotel group launched a campaign sooooooo wanky that it genuinely set a new global benchmark for wank …
OK … OK … so on one hand they should be congratulated for avoiding the usual ‘You Work Hard And Are Really, Mega Successful So If You Want Something That Makes You Happy, We’ll Make It Happen Because You’re Worth It’ … however whatever way you cut it, it truly is a big steaming pile of turd.
While I travel quite a lot, I’ve never actually stayed in a Marriott hotel – and after seeing that ‘ad’ I’m glad because the last thing I want when I order a burger is the bloody Room Service guy spilling my chips everywhere as he pirouettes into my fucking room.
However there is a new ‘gun’ in town.
A hotel that has created such a pretentious bit of self-congratulatory rubbish that I had to watch it 5 times in a row to see if it was all some giant piss–take.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the internal commercial for the Regent Hotel Shangahi …
HOW FUCKING CRAP IS THAT EH????
I just love how the music and voiceover seems to come from a 1980’s sci-fi adventure. I’m sure they thought it added ‘dramatic effect’ but to me it was pure ‘comedy.
And what about the words?
EYES SEE
EARS LISTEN
FIRES HOT
WATER COOL
No shit sherlock. And they say that comes from some ancient Zen poem? Hahahaha …
If that really is the case – then all I can say is this Zen shit is easy.
What about …
NOSES SMELL
FINGERS TOUCH
LEGS MOVE
BOTTOMS SHIT
Deep and meaningful eh? Christ, even my beloved Jill’s ramblings make more sense than coherent.
Look I have no issue with companies singing their praises – but it helps if [1] they can live up to it and [2] it’s not pretentious bollocks.
Given the Regent Hotel has the sort of service even British Rail in 1983 couldn’t of succumbed to, the only praise I can bestow on this film is that despite suffering from terrible food poisoning, it made me laugh till I puked. Literally.