Before you read any more of this post, please go here …
Done it?
Saw the challenge Marcus thrust down upon my feet?
Well here is a story that explains why I WON’T be doing it …
About 2 years ago, I was in JFK Airport in New York walking towards a plane that was finally going to take me home after spending weeks flying here, there and everywhere.
I was in quite a good mood … sure I was tired and my back hurt from one too many ‘hard hotel beds’, but apart from the fact that after this flight I was going to be in my own house … I had an advance copy of Starsailor’s new album on my iPod and was totally loving it.
That was until the chorus of the first song, ‘In The Crossfire’.
As one reviewer said, Starsailor are what Coldplay would be like if they had some balls … so as a lover of all things ‘Rawwwwwk’, I was well into this song.
Too ‘well into it’ as it happens.
As the chorus approached, despite being totally surrounded by hundreds of people making the slow, feet-shuffling walk to the terminal, I apparently did something stupid.
I say ‘apprentely’ as all this happened without my conscious knowledge or approval … however, within a nano second, I had closed my eyes, taken a huge, deep breath, opened my gob and, as if my life depended on it, screamed out the chorus infront of everyone around me!!!
What’s even worse than that is that I still hadn’t realised what I had done. Sure I knew I was singing along, but I thought I was doing it in my head and only realised something was wrong when 3 key events happened …
I opened my eyes and saw …
1. The whole World turned and looked at me in sheer shock before absolutely pissing themselves.
2. America’s gun happy security came running towards me with sodding guns at the ready.
3. Andy, my fat-bastard business partner, fell on the floor. How I hoped it was a heart attack but no, it was from the evil shit laughing too hard.
My mind was racing … WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON … and then it dawned on me.
O H. M Y. G O D.
To say I took control back of my mouth is a huge understatement … I literally covered my mouth with both hands and bit by lips, petrified another squeak may pop out.
Now I’d had quite a few embarrassing things happen in my life, but without doubt, this was one of the worst … made even more painful by the fact I had to endure an 18 hours flight with people on the plane either pointing at me, smirking at me or advising me not to listen to any music when everyone on the plane was asleep.
Bastards. I felt like wringing each and everyone’s neck … I mean, they’re perfect aren’t they … they’ve never done anything daft in their lives except wear those stupid airplane socks or laugh at all the wrong bits of the God-awful inflight movies.
So when you take all this into account, maybe … just maybe … you’ll understand why on this one, Marcus is on his own!