What’s worse is that means I only have 3 months and 8 days till the little one introduces himself to the World and all I/we’ve done so far is get a pram [that cost more than my first car] and casually move some furniture around.
Shiiiiiiit.
Anyway, talking of babies and fatherhood … when I was a kid, one thing my Dad liked to do was read the lyrics of my favourite bands songs in a very dry and straight way.
Trust me, nothing ruins a classic track like ‘Highway To Hell’ [yes, an AC/DC song just to prove I’m not totally Queen obsessed] than having someone read the lyrics in a beautiful, rich English voice that has a slight hint of curiosity … as if they are reading back to you all the depraved things you’ve admitted you’ve done.
The reason I say this is because I was recently riding to work when Foreigner’s ‘Hot Blooded’ came on my iPhone.
For those of you who don’t know the song, it’s this:
Anyway, despite having listened to that song for decades, I paid notice – possibly for the first time – to the lyrics and was taken aback at how utterly pre-pubecesent they were.
Well, I’m hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded
You don’t have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you’re doin’ after the show
Now it’s up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I’ll show you lovin’ like you never knew
That’s why, I’m hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, hot blooded
If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you’ve got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me
Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?
Yeah I’m hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded, I’m hot
Now it’s up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you’ll have to get away from you know who
Well, I’m hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded
Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you’re looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you’re driving me wild
Hot blooded, I’m so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I’m a little bit high
Hot blooded, you’re a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you’re making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing
Jesus christ …
Seriously, when you read them as if you were reading a text book, it all feels so different.
For a start you think it’s the delusional ramblings of a 18 year old man about to go out on a Saturday night.
Then you start thinking it’s about a dirty old bastard trying to hit on a 17 year old.
Then you work out it’s some horny bastard who wants an affair.
Then you finally realise it’s basically a song about stalking and unwanted sexual attention.
In short, it’s a song for people the Police should be paying close attention to.
And what the hell was he doing going out with a temperature that high. Madness.
I suppose what’s even worse is Mick Jones – who wrote the song – was 34 at the time.
THIRTY FOUR!!! No wonder he’s had more marriages than Elizabeth Taylor. Or Andy.
Anyway, let this as a lesson to you all, never … I mean NEVER EVER … read the lyrics of your favourite song, because like meeting your heroes, you’re only going to end up feeling disappointed and wondering why the hell you devoted so much of your time and attention on something that you have now discovered is so shit.
Oh, and for the record, if all this means I’m slowly turning into my Dad – then I’m very happy about that – because he was a brilliant man and if I’m half the father to my son as he was to me, he’s a very lucky kid indeed.
And with that bit of sentimentality – plus the news there will be no more blog posts till Friday because I’m currently on a plane to the good ol’ U S of A – I wish you all a good week.