Hello.
How are you?
My name is Rob Campbell.
I’m 43. I come from Nottingham … like Queen, weird gadgets and Birkenstocks.
By the way, I live in China.
We met a couple of times but it’s so long ago I would totally understand if you’ve forgotten me.
Why are you looking so utterly horrified?
Why are your eyes looking at me in fear?
Why are you running away?
Come back … come back … we could be friends.
What about colleagues?
OK, acquaintances?
Hello? Hello? Where did you go.
Yes, you guessed it, I’m back. And I’m better [read: worse] than ever.
Cue: Evil laugh.
