Following on from Monday’s declaration that this is the week of emotional posts, here’s one I’ve written about disappointment, anger and distrust.
For total transparency, this is about a situation some of the people who comment on this blog – and myself – found ourselves in about 10 years ago.
Again, it’s all done and dusted now, but at the time, I cannot tell you the emotional toil it had on us because the implications for our lives and livelihoods was potentially devastating.
Obviously we got through it and managed to do it without too many scars, so I’m very proud of everyone who helped us – both personally & professionally – and I hope when they read it, they remember how strong we were not how horrid that time was.
You claimed you were sincere.
That the words you spoke were the words you meant.
That your belief went beyond anything said – or heard – before.
Then you went and did something quite the opposite.
Something with malice in its intent.
Something designed to destruct from the core and to the core.
Then you apologized and claimed it was a mistake.
A moment of misguided judgement.
A decision of foolish naivety.
And that you were sincere.
That the words you spoke were the words you meant.
That your belief went beyond anything said – or heard – before.
Then you went and did something quite the opposite.
Again.
Fuck you for making us believe.
Care.
Hope.
Fuck you for tricking us into giving you our best.
Then bringing out our worst.
Just so you could justify your actions.
Which you had planned all along.
As the [updated & paraphrased] old saying goes:
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me twice, pulling off pretty much the exact same stunt all within 2 weeks of each other, put me in a cell & throw away the key.