So I know writing this post is going to open me up to all sorts of abuse.
You’ll say things like:
1. What would I know about quality music when I love Queen.
2. I sound like the 42 year old man I am.
3. I’m making a judgement on societies tastes when I keep saying planners, should observe them, not abuse them.
However I do have a pretty good defense.
No, I’m not going to say that while later Queen music was a bit pants, their early stuff was brilliant and anyone who likes Muse should check out Freddie and gangs, Queen II or Sheer Heart Attack albums. Nor am I going to say that I am a ‘young’ 42 year old because while I like stupid gadgets, fashion [ahem!] and television – I plainly am not. Nor will I point out that I am not trying to change anything, I’m just making an observation.
Oh no.
My defense is simply quoting some of the lyrics to teens sensation, One Direction, new song – Little Things – which I had the terrible misfortune of hearing in the car recently.
“Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me.
But bear this mind it was meant to be.
And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks.
And it all makes sense to me.
I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile.
You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs.
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine.
But I’ll love them endlessly.
You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea.
Maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep.
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep.
Though it makes no sense to me.
I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape.
You never want to know how much you weigh.
You still have to squeeze into your jeans.
But you’re perfect to me.”
What the fucking fuck????
Dot to dot with the freckles!
You never loved your stomach or your thighs!
Or the dimples at the bottom of your spine!
I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape!
You never want to know how much you weigh!
You still have to squeeze into your jeans!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Now sadly, I know why young girls will like this – not just because it’s sung by a bunch of pre-pubecesent pretty boys – but because it covers a bunch of the issues they worry about in their teens [and beyond] – which proves this song wasn’t written by musicians, but by a fucking focus group.
You can take the piss all you like out of Queen and their “Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango” lyrics, but at least they didn’t fucking write utter trite, uber-manufactured tat like that One Direction shit.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about HMV and their owners decision to ban staff from showing tattoos or having long hair.
Well, if they add, ‘do not sell One Direction songs’ to that list, I might let them off, because while every generation has their own ‘musical favourites’, there is no excuse … utterly NO excuse … for this sort of shit and I just hope they go the way of Five Star and countless other ‘flavour of the month/year’ bands and end up in the ‘where are they now’ dustbin.
Sadly, judging by the ‘facts’ presented here, I’m not sure that will be the case.
Come back Wham, all is forgiven, even that ‘Wake me up before you go go’ rubbish.