Whether it’s Kellogg’s or Macca’s, all food companies want to be associated with ‘health’.
I understand why, because in this image conscious, health illusion World of ours, selling the premise of ‘good food’ increases the chances – and regularity – of purchase.
Talking of regularity, I want to draw your attention to an ad I recently saw …
OK, so I appreciate Nestle Acti-V yoghurt is good for you.
I appreciate it contains special micro-organisms and fiber that has been ‘scientifically proven’ for effectiveness.
BUT WHY THE FUCK DO THEY THEN GO ON ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS?
By all means say it ‘keeps you regular’.
Maybe say it helps ‘keep your insides healthy’.
But for fucks sake don’t say BOWEL MOVEMENT because instead of building up ‘taste cues’, you end making people think ‘Eat this and shit a lot’.
But it gets worse.
Yes, even worse than basically flogging ‘instant shit’.
How?
Because rather than just say bowel movement once and pretend it didn’t happen, they go straight back to the ‘talent’ who say’s, “Mmmmmm Mmmmmm’ [which could be either an attempt to imply the yoghurt is tasty or that she’s just shit her pants] and then end the whole sorry episode with a big picture of the product and a super surrounding it that say’s in great, big letters:
HELPS REGULATE BOWEL MOVEMENT.
Jesus!
And they ran this ad during American fucking Idol.
AMERICAN IDOL, a show designed to appeal to 17 year old losers.
And 41 year old planning idiots.
Another example of brilliant media planning.
But all that aside, I have a word of advice for Nestle.
If you want to sell a product that keeps people regular, may I suggest that directly associating its taste with shitting is probably not the best way to go. Look, I appreciate your ‘honesty’ … I admire how you are trying to offer people a better alternative to cardboard bran … but in future, try using code words for ‘bowel movements’ instead of saying it so literally because regardless how yummy your product is, placing an image of someone heaving on the toilet is not very good for you or any of your potential customers.
Unless they are trying to make 2 Girls and 1 Cup, the sequel.