America is the land of the paradox.
They go on about free speech but then verbally abuse anyone that says something they don’t like.
They talk about being a god loving country, then do things that no god would approve of.
They talk about being ‘green’ but they’re one of the World’s worst culprits against the environment.
They [pretend] they’re the richest country in the World, but it’s filled with the poor.
They express their hatred of socialism, yet openly embrace a single Police force, Army, Navy, Postal Service and FBI to name but a few.
OK, so I’m generalising – not everyone is like this – but a hell of a lot are, yet despite it, I still quite like the good old U S of A … or should I say I did until I realized they were using weapons of mass destruction against their own people.
No, I don’t mean United Airlines – though that is definitely up there – I mean the fact that when you ask for a ‘light snack’ they deliver this to your hotel room …
… but when you ask for a Diet Coke, they send you this …
What the hell?
How come when you ask for food they deliver you a portion that would keep a military platoon full for a week, but when you ask for a Diet Coke, they give you a bottle that make Gwyneth Paltrow look like a fat bastard.
I know why, because the American Government want their population fat.
Fat people are too tired to make a fuss.
Fat people don’t start riots because they can’t fit through their door.
Fat people don’t commit crimes because they know they can’t outrun the Police.
Fat people will only question the economy if they can’t afford a Burger King meal deal.
Fat people can’t become spies because they would’t be able to hide in the shadows.
Fat people don’t take up space at the beach because it’s too hot for them to visit.
Fat people make the US car industry better at building big and strong cars.
Fat people can be controlled via a Double Whopper and fries.
Forget all that talk about nuclear bombs being the weapons of mass destruction, that’s complete bollocks … America’s weapon of choice is obesity which is why I am guessing the real reason the troops were sent into Iraq was they’d heard there was going to be a new Diet Coke factory being built there.
No wonder they say holiday makers who visit America for 2 weeks put on 8 pounds.