So a while back I was invited to Seattle so I could rant at the lovely folk at Microsoft.
You’d think they’d of learnt their lesson, but no – they went and did an interview with me about the digital and advertising landscape in China.
Saying that, I do have this sneaky suspicion that it was all a ruse so that they could …
1/ Attach a blue light thing to my neck to make me look like a robot.
2/ Do something to the microphone so I can sound like a robot.
… but on the brightside, they literally beeped out my swearing.
That’s bloody awesome, that’s never happened to me before and now I feel I can rub shoulders with some of the best – from George Best on Wogan to Roger Mellie, the man on the telly.
Saying all that, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with these interview things.
On one side, I really enjoy being able to express my point of view. Apart from the fact I have the ego of Bono and genuinely want Asia’s people and culture to be treated with respect by brands and business throughout the World, I find it hugely amusing that me – some bald, uneducated bloke from Nottingham – gets asked for his viewpoint alongside far better qualified and looking individuals.
Then there’s the hate bit … which basically happens the exact moment I watch or read whatever I’ve said.
It never comes out quite as I wanted …
It never sounds as strong as I hoped …
I use my hands like a mad scientist …
I get alarmed at just how much I ramble …
… and go off tangent …
And I sound like a fucking robot.
Maybe that’s why I like writing this blog. I get to control what I express more carefully … which begs the question, if this shit is me being more diligent, what on earth would it be like if I just succumbed to typing whatever my brain commanded my fingers.
I shudder to think …
Anyway, here’s my robot ranting rubbish, and yes, I am wearing a Queen t-shirt.
