So way back before electricity was invented, I wrote an email that made Jerry Maguire’s infamous diatribe look positively tame in comparison.
Whilst it caused a massive stir at the time – resulting in me having to go to a libel lawyer [kindly supplied by a client of mine] – I somehow got away with it.
To be honest, when I read it now, I realise I was a total and utter prick … because even though I did it for the right reasons, the way I approached it was very fucking bad indeed and regardless that it was all true [hence he didn’t take me to court] the fact I still am able to work in this industry is amazing.
To be fair to me – as well as prove my ignorance – I only sent the email to a small group of people … people who I not only regarded as friends, but thought they felt the same way about this person as I did.
But I was wrong.
And whilst it would be easy to blame the individual who passed it outside our small group and into the big bad world, the fact is [1] it was all my fault and [2] it taught me a very valuable lesson that anyone who assumes they know how people will respond, is an idiot.
I know you might think this email shows I’ve gone soft … but you’d be wrong.
I absolutely believe in standing up for what you believe in rather than following a party-line you fundamentally disagree with [as my copious amounts of bollocksing at HHCL will testify] however I believe that when you have an issue, you shouldn’t approach it by throwing all your toys out the pram because not only will that approach generally fail to work, it also means the other party will view you with less respect and before you know it, you’ll end up being seen as a supplier rather than a partner and that is ultimately the worst scenario you could find yourself in because you’ll not only end up frustrated, but you’ll see countless wonderful opportunities just pass on by.
As far as I am concerned, you have a moral obligation to stand up for what you believe in, but if you forget the other party needs to understand your point of view to stand any chance of resolution – you’re going to be forever making enemies.
In reality, my email was weak.
Whilst I’d addressed my concerns to the person in question numerous times, the email was basically pettiness. As I said, it was meant for a small group of people – but like all good viral spots, the exaggerated extreme made it a social commodity and I was unfortunately the currency.
If you want my advice, don’t follow my lead – if you have issues, deal with it at the time with clarity and understanding – because anything else proves we might work in the communication industry, but we don’t know how to communicate.
Anyway, as I know you are all nosy fuckers, I’m guessing you want to see what I actually wrote – but in a rare moment of clarity, I’ve decided it’s probably best if I only give you a sample of random paragraphs [with names and specific information removed for my safety, ha! because not only did it go on for pages, I actually don’t want to rake up old wounds because this isn’t something I’m proud of, quite the opposite actually.
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“… over the last few months I have seen XXXXX, lie, cheat and manipulate people and situations to maximise his personal wealth at the expense of almost all others around him. He doesn’t care what he does, if it makes him money, he is happy with it.”
“… XXXXX loves being seen as the Advertising Guru … The Business Innovator … The Marketing Warrior … but in reality, he is none of these things. What he actually is, is the most insecure, insincere man I have ever met.”
“… for a man in the communication business, he isn’t very good at communicating. When he was going to make some people redundant, he first told XXXXX who went around telling the office who was for the axe BEFORE even the people concerned were told!!!”
“… rumours are that he takes ‘back-handers’ from some of the people he deals with. Though there is no proof of this, I can say the quality of the freelancers he forces us all to use can’t be because of their quality of work.”
“… a boss has a responsibility to ALL he oversee’s and I know that means hard decisions at times, but everything he did benefited one thing and thing alone … himself, and that is why I am so angry!”
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Pretty bad isn’t it.
I’ve re-read the whole thing and still can’t work out what the hell I was thinking.
Underneath it all, the intentions were genuine because I was upset about what I had seen him do to people I cared about – but the way I did it, regardless of the supposed ‘private’ audience it was being sent to, comes across as the immature ramblings of a spoilt little prick … which is probably a fair evaluation, bar the ‘spoilt’ bit.
Being strong in your views is very different to childish bullying and name calling and while I’d like to think I won’t ever make that mistake again, there are times when I read this blog and end up putting my head in my hands and going “Oh No …”