Well as yesterdays post was probably a bit too much for many of you to handle, I thought I’d get back to normal with a rant.
And there you were worrying my new found positivity might have resulted in the end of my cynical streak. Pah.
Right, it’s been a while since I got the shits with Starbucks … but they’ve gone and done it again.
To be honest, I feel a teensy bit sorry for them.
Their staff – at least in Asia – tend to be pretty good and despite their coffee tasting more of milk than caffeine, not to mention their grand relaunch having the impact of a damp squid, they are trying which is better than a hell of a lot of companies I could mention.
Saying that, like Amazon – I don’t really rate them as a brand.
You see to me, a real brand is one that has an irrational emotional connection with a person – where that individual will go out of their way [in some way] to embrace the brand they love over a cheaper/more convenient alternative.
Yes I know that isn’t how many people refer to a great brand – but I have never been of the school of thought that awareness or sales automatically equates to brand adoration.
Anyway that’s an argument for another day … so back to why I’ve got the shits with Starbucks.
Well basically I was in one of their stores when I saw this …
Can you see it?
Come on – surely you can?
Yep, it’s the way they say ‘blended coffee is for sophisticated adults’.
WHAT THE FUCK?
How can a blended coffee mean you are sophisticated?
And why does blended cream [which sounds as appetising as diluted cows blood] mean you are a sophisticated adult or kid.
SOPHISTICATED KID? Are they taking the piss? Unless the word ‘sophisticated’ has been re-defined as ‘complaining little shit who craves sugar rushes and screams till he/her gets it’ I think they might of missed the point.
One of the things that really gets on my nerves – especially in Asia – is the preoccupation of ‘status’.
Seriously, everyone is claiming it … sophisticated cars, sophisticated butter, sophisticated bog roll and now sophisticated bloody blended coffee/cream.
Of course ‘status’ isn’t an attribute unique just to the Asian advertising industry, but my god they embrace it with a gusto that leaves the West in the dust.
What makes it even worse, is the brands that adopt this no-effort-required ‘strategy’ don’t refer to values or sensitivity, they just go straight to the claim – meaning there’s no reason why someone should believe it as well as the fact any competitor could do pretty much the same thing. And they do. Often.
There’s probably quite a few reasons for this … including the expectations placed on the people of Asia interms of what they are expected to achieve, own and deliver … but still, are our lives so miserable that an overpriced bucket of hot, brown water with some contrived ‘badge value’ can make us feel better?
Don’t answer that – but if it’s true, then maybe if Starbucks embraced a strategy of making life miserable for each of their customers, their balance sheet might move from the red back into the black, ha!
I’ve written before how ‘sophisticated’ and/or ‘luxury’ has seemingly become nothing more but a price point and I believe this attitude is screwing everyone over because without celebrating attributes such as craftsmanship, soul, heritage, innovation and/or exclusivity, it means a coffee made by a spotty adolescent can claim to be upmarket, leading the average joe to pay more for something that quite frankly is about as sophisticated as a tramp doing a fart.
Why not go the whole hog Starbucks and print your cups with ‘LACKING SELF ESTEEM’ … you’re pretty much saying that already. [Quick question: how did you know??? 🙂 ]