I like Ice Cream.
I really like Magnums.
And I really, really like Eva Longoria.
So how come these elements have all come together to create a giant heaving turd of an ad campaign?
Maybe it’s because it’s so terrible that it’s not on Youtube yet, so to have a look, click here.
Anyway, before I have my rant, here’s what the person behind the ad say’s …
Anna Ford, Magnum Brand Manager says:
“The Mayan Mystica campaign starring Eva Longoria is set to be huge. Not only do we have an amazingly indulgent TV advert but we also have eye-catching posters on billboards all around the UK.
This combination is sure to drive consumers into store seeking Mayan Mystica. Retailers need to ensure that they stock up to meet the demand that this campaign will create for not only Mayan Mystica, and also the entire irresistible Magnum”
God bless her, such a sterling selling job – and you have to be impressed that she managed to throw in so many ‘brand attribute words’ like INDULGENT and IRRESISTIBLE however it does beg two questions …
1 Is she the Anna Ford who used to read the news on ITN?
2 What the fuck is she going on about?
Putting aside question one because lets be honest, who cares – lets jump to the “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE GOING ON ABOUT?” bit …
Amazingly indulgent TV advert?
A combination that is sure to drive consumers into store seeking Mayan Mystica.
Retailers need to ensure that they stock up to meet the demand that this campaign will create.
Maybe she’s seen a different commercial to the one I’ve just watched because it’s not really ‘indulgent’ and it’s not really going to drive consumers wild either.
Why?
Well lets look at the premise of the commercial shall we?
Apparently Eva Longoria is an explorer who enters a mystical Mayan temple looking to unlock the secret of pure ice cream indulgence.
Hahahahahahaha!
Why the fuck would she do that? Was she on a break from Desperate Housewives?
And putting my oh-so-rational hat on for a moment, if she’s an explorer why is she dressed in that outfit … and if it’s a mystical Mayan temple why is there a fuckload of people having a party there … and if she’s looking to unlock the secret of pure ice cream indulgence, why did she only have to go up the stairs?
It’s bollocks isn’t it.
Go on, admit it, it’s not just me is it? Is It?
I bet the agency flogged this to Magnum by saying it will have ‘synergy’ with the new Indiana Jones movie which is about to launch – but it won’t because this is shit and makes no fucking sense whereas that is great and will be exciting and imaginative.
It never ceases to amaze me how Unilever [who own Wall’s] can have such extremes in their communication.
On one level they can approve and make great campaigns like AXE/Lynx and then on the other they make bland bollocks like this.
This ad demonstrates the massive gulf in the quality of Unilever’s rostered agencies as well as the inconsistency of their marketing staff because not only is this passive advertising at its worse, it’s crazy to promote an ice-cream only using Television and Outdoor.
Lets face it, the only reason this ad will be noticed is because of Eva and to be honest, they could of saved themselves a fuckload of production cash by simply adopting the Asian communication mentality and paying her to say, “I eat Magnum”
The sad thing is people will buy it in the truckload – but I don’t think it’ll have too much to do with the ad – like Cadbury’s, Wall’s distribution is so strong that they can almost guarantee it will be successful because they can make retailers take the product whether they like it or not.
Then there’s the fact the UK is coming into it’s 5 days of summer …
It’s false effectiveness – but hey, no one is going to address that when there’s delusional industry back-slapping to enjoy.