The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I’m going to write about people who are slaves to the latest trends.
I’m going to write about how tragic my fashion tastes are.

Well you’d be wrong on both counts because I’m going to write about integrity.

You see a while back, I was told I was going to receive a sweatshirt that was apparently ‘made for me’.

The design was this …

OK, so it says Birmingham instead of Nottingham [though I appreciate ‘heavy metal’ was supposedly born in Brum] but yeah, I get it …

I was born in 1970.

I like heavy metal.

I work for a band that are masters of heavy metal.

It was pretty nice so I said thank you and waited.

A few weeks later I received a package.

The weather in Auckland is just starting to turn into Autumn, so the slightly colder days meant the timing of a warm sweatshirt was perfect.

So imagine my surprise when I opened the package and saw this …

Leonardo Dibloodycaprio.

And it was at that moment it all made sense.

The evil, piss-taking, lying bastards.

Bloody geniuses …

And while they were all no doubt pissing themselves back at home thinking they’d got me, the reality is I ended up having the last laugh.

Because not only is it cosy as hell, it’s still more stylish and fashionable than anything I have in my wardrobe … so in their attempt to take the piss, they’ve inadvertently made a more suave – and warm – version of myself.

Though I admit I do get strange looks when I wear it outside.