Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Jill, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
A friend of mine who is gay is writing a book about how straight people would react if their child told them they were gay.
I wrote this:
If my son turns to me and says he’s gay, I would hug him and tell him I loved him and that I hope he finds someone who makes him happy.
If my son told me he had found a man that made him truly happy, I would hug him and tell him I am so excited for him and can’t wait to meet him.
If my son told me he had met the man of his dreams and told me he wanted to get married, I would probably cry tears of joy and say I am proud
I mean every single word of that … and yet, despite it being 2019, the LGBTQ+ community continue to face constant harassment and exclusion.
This scares me to death because as a parent, I would never want my son to suffer for his sexual preferences. And no one should.
While society has come a long way, we haven’t come far enough which is why being an ally to those who are forced to live in the shadows has never been so important.
You don’t have to become their best friend.
You don’t have to spend all your time together.
But letting them know you see them as a peer and believe in their right to live without oppression will help the progress we’ve made, keep moving forward so that one day, if my child – or yours – announces they are gay, you can celebrate them for being true to who they are rather than worrying about how others will treat them for who they are.
38 Comments
Beautiful words. Beautiful boy.
Comment by Mary Bryant July 17, 2019 @ 6:41 amThis is lovely. You’re a much better dad than you were as my boss.
Comment by Bazza July 17, 2019 @ 7:11 amI think that’s because he loves Otis and merely tolerated you.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 7:19 amThat’s exactly how I feel as well.
Comment by Bazza July 17, 2019 @ 7:45 amFair. But then Otis is far less demanding as a kid than you were as an employee.
Comment by Rob July 17, 2019 @ 8:03 amGood man.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 7:19 amHaving had a gay uncle, having been with him until his last breath since he died of aids, I aplaud you . But in my case me and my uncle never gave it thought that he was gay, I saw him as a person. A great person, everytime he and me went out he was always saying ¨ You need some new shoes, look at you, a mess” I would literally fight him to not pay for more clothing, of his choosing that was, fun memories. Also fun, when he laughed when I told my crazy stories with girls, just that gutural laughter that at times I thought I was going to kill him if he didn´t inhale. A great man he was.
Now you got the LGBTQ, what the fuck is the Q for now? You said they are harrased, don´t get it, by whom. If I say something against gays, I´m evil and have to be destroyed. Even my uncle is literally Rolling around his grave thinking ” What the fuck are they crying about since I grew up while our cool Spanish dictator Franco would kill gays….” Just a bit too much.
I could care less that you or me are gay, I care about the individual, but Jeeeeesus Christ, do I have to bow for every gay a meet?
As I said, my gay uncle, (may he rest in peace) is thinking just the exact same thing.
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 7:51 amThanks for your comment and I’m sorry about your Uncle’s passing but – and it’s an important but – the comment you make about LGBTQ community literally proves my point about the harassment they face.
Maybe you were accepting of your Uncle’s sexuality because he was your uncle, because the way your comment reads doesn’t feel like you tolerate anyone else.
Comment by Rob July 17, 2019 @ 8:08 amYep, I´m a racist, homophobic, and you know me…..
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 8:26 amBased on your comment, you come across as exactly that. Maybe you’re not, but then may I suggest a bit more self awareness in what you say.
Comment by Rob July 17, 2019 @ 8:58 amInteresting that Charly suggesst he’s being accused of racism – he wasn’t. Maybe he has been so accused in the past. Maybe not. But It’s an extraordinarily defensive stance to take.
As for his doubts about harassment. He’s on the internet, maybe he could Google it.
Comment by john July 17, 2019 @ 10:16 amThe classic “I’m not a racist, I have black friends but….”
Comment by Pete July 17, 2019 @ 8:13 amI know your arguments, they get old, arguments? You have none since you are morally superior hence if I disagree with you I´m now a racist, a homophobic… what else am I?
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 8:24 amDo you realise your original comment is exactly the same as the one you are accusing Peter of writing? Except he is right and you are prejudiced.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 8:49 amCharly. I am not gay but I find your comments prejudiced and aggressive. If you don’t see that, let me help you by rewriting your comment.
Having had a straight uncle, having been with him until his last breath since he died, I applaud you . But in my case me and my uncle never gave it thought that he was straight, I saw him as a person. A great person, everytime he and me went out he was always saying ¨you need some new shoes, look at you, a mess” I would literally fight him to not pay for more clothing, of his choosing that was, fun memories. Also fun, when he laughed when I told my crazy stories with boys, just that gutural laughter that at times I thought I was going to kill him if he didn´t inhale. A great man he was.
Now you got the straights? You said they are harrased, don´t get it, by whom. If I say something against straight people, I´m evil and have to be destroyed. Even my uncle is literally Rolling around his grave thinking ” What the fuck are they crying about since I grew up while our cool Spanish dictator Franco would kill straights….” Just a bit too much.
I could care less that you or me are straight, I care about the individual, but Jeeeeesus Christ, do I have to bow for every straight a meet?
As I said, my straight uncle, (may he rest in peace) is thinking just the exact same thing.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 8:32 amYou´re putting too much effort, try to leave it.
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 8:33 amYes, that’s what people who don’t like to be called out tend to say.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 8:34 amhahahaha. oh charly, you are a fucking prejudiced prick.
Comment by andy@cynic July 17, 2019 @ 2:29 pmbut dont cry, you are a fucking cert to be the next potus then you can send all those queers and sympathisers back from where they come from. which you probably call hell.
Lets play it. Your argument is abou rmotions, false one and you know itl
Now sir, have you ever take cared of what you know is going to be dead, that means cleaning him, cleaning his ass, his dick, getting up when you hear a ” thump”, wich means he felt down. I can go on.
Now you nut, ever Heard about being in ccombat, I have been, so Little pieces of shit like you I Will and can kill you.
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 2:43 pmkeep talking that is what you like, talk….behind a computer, dumb ass piece of shit coward
hahhhahhahahh, you laughing at a dead person? I´ll brake your neck, I´ll give you my adres to tell the truth, I´m scared? After all the shit in my life, better watch it punk
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 2:44 pmIPP got it and USD, your down bitch
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 2:47 pmkeep on laughing at deat good people, keep on, I don´t forget
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 2:48 pmim laughing at you. no one else you prick.
Comment by andy@cynic July 17, 2019 @ 2:55 pmYou really got me pissed off, laughing about my dead uncle? Come here, with all my nice criminal Friends, or I´ll go there, punck bith, the better get me out of WordPress before I catch you
Comment by charlypriest July 17, 2019 @ 3:06 pmCharly. As I mentioned in my comment below, I can see you loved your Uncle very much. I understand you saw the person not his sexuality. I think this is exactly how the world should behave. But you undermine your argument by then insulting the LGBTQ community with a wave of aggression that I found unsettling. As was your reaction to people trying to point this out to you. What your Uncle experienced from you is sadly not what many people in the LGBTQ community experience with the greater population. That is why there was a reaction to your broader comment. Not personal, just reflective of not everyone experiencing the openness you had with your Uncle and it’s worth remembering.
Comment by Lee Hill July 17, 2019 @ 3:11 pmNo one is talking about your uncle.
No one is doubting the love you have for him.
But everyone is reacting to your response to members of the LGBTQ+ community which – frankly – was offensive. At least to me.
Having just gone to your blog and read the first post, I HATE WOMEN, I feel it is best for you – and for us – if we stop the conversation here.
I apologise for anyone who reacted in the same manner that you did, but while I am more than happy to embrace alternative opinion, I am not going to allow anyone to start making personal threats. Thanks for visiting.
Comment by Rob July 17, 2019 @ 3:21 pmWell said and well done Robert.
Comment by Lee Hill July 17, 2019 @ 3:26 pmand the fucker thought he was tolerant.
Comment by andy@cynic July 17, 2019 @ 5:25 pmWell said Rob. Otis is a lucky boy to have you as his dad.
Comment by Pete July 17, 2019 @ 8:14 amReblogged this on notestoponder.
Comment by Notes To Ponder July 17, 2019 @ 9:18 amWell said Robert. As for CharlyPriest, I would like to say this. You may not intend to insult others. You may not understand why you’ve insulted others. But if that is the reaction you hear, surely you would want to understand why they feel hurt rather than just accuse them of being in the wrong. If not, then it suggests you only want people in your life who agree with your beliefs. Or choose to keep quiet about them for the sake of harmony. Like family members.
Comment by Lee Hill July 17, 2019 @ 10:43 amWow. For such a heartfelt post, this turned bad very quickly.
Comment by DH July 17, 2019 @ 8:46 pmAt least Charly proved the point of your post perfectly. I also learned, prejudiced people can’t spell.
Just seen Rob is now taking on the racists and the culturally deaf on twitter about UK Campaign putting Nigel Farage their cover. He’s on fire. Almost like the old Rob but he’s fighting for what’s right not what he wants us to think is right. ; )
Comment by DH July 17, 2019 @ 10:16 pmSeen it. He’s in full on terrier mode. Biting the neck and ankles of anyone who dares try to push back. I’m almost proud of him.
Comment by Bazza July 17, 2019 @ 10:19 pmWe’ve all seen him in that mood before. If he’s on your side you feel invinsible but if not, you’re in for a terrible day. Though reading some of his tweets, he does seem to be more articulate in his destruction of the oppoaition than he used to be. More sniper than bazooka. Or a sniper with a bazooka. Well done Robert, you are entirely right in the reasons for your anger.
Comment by George July 17, 2019 @ 10:39 pmhes more agreeable when the fucker is angry.
Comment by andy@cynic July 17, 2019 @ 11:05 pmexcept twitter is for twats shouting in the fucking echo chamber.
What a day for this blog. Almost felt like 2008 again.
Comment by DH July 17, 2019 @ 11:41 pmWho forgot to invite me to the party?
Comment by Billy Whizz July 18, 2019 @ 7:04 am