The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Bad Insight Might Be A Damage To Your Health …
September 18, 2012, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

So I’m in Singapore today, judging the effectiveness category at The Spikes.

Let’s hope the submissions I see are as insightful as this …

… and don’t have 700 pages of ‘evidence’ to prove they’ve been effective.


Because if you have to go to unbelievable lengths – exploring the minutest of details – to prove your work was successful, then I might start questioning whether your overall strategy was the right thing to go forward with.

And no, Facebook and Youtube likes and views, don’t count as ‘effective’ … nor do they represent a ‘return on investment’.

Seriously, the way some folks claim ROI is more imaginative than Harry Potter.

Maybe I’m being purist or petty or downright stupid … but in my mind, R.O.I. is not about the ‘added value’ a campaign achieves in terms of reach, frequency or exposure, it’s about the commercial value of what the brand gets back from the campaign – that’s why it’s called a RETURN!

Finally, let’s hope none of the agencies try and take all the credit for any campaign success they achieve because the reality is, there are a whole host of other factors that contribute to effectiveness and to not acknowledge them is bordering on ego-mania.

As you can tell, I’m in the perfect mood for judging, so let’s hope no one tries to pull a D&AD Pencils comment or Singapore’s nice and calm persona might be changed forever.


Wishful thinking.

Comment by Bazza

who the fuck cares. besides hes judging the effectiveness category which means the fuckers were lying the moment they sent off their submission along with their hefty entry fee cheque.

Comment by andy@cynic

how the fuck have you got the time to come on here and write a comment when youve got 2 million fucking samsung galaxy 2 clones to get out to the fucking apple groupie twats this week?

if you were still working for me youd get a fucking swift boot up your lazy fucking ass. now send me a phone. in black. the white bastard looks super fucking gay.

Comment by andy@cynic

That is a good point Bazza, how can you be so relaxed. Even if you haven’t got to sell any more phones, haven’t you got technology competitors to sue?

Comment by Rob

I like the male/female quote. Very true.

Comment by Bazza

not on this fucking blog it isnt.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

youre away again.


and its another freebie holiday?

dont try and claim its some work bollocks to me campbell. answer me this. have you or have you not found the fucking time to do any one of the fucking following.

1) go to one of those tech malls you always used to bang on about and buy some more fucking useless shite.

2) see your little chums. especially mr fucking ikea.

3) visit 10,000 fucking restaurants and reminisce like an map.

go on, i dare you to answer any of those questions and then claim its work.

fuck me, her majesty doesnt get as many fucking holidays as you and paris slapper hilton doesnt get as many freebies.

Comment by andy@cynic

Mall visit and dinner with Freddie in reminiscence central were already ticked off on twitter before this post appeared.

Comment by John


Comment by Billy Whizz

what i cant fucking understand is why you know doddsy or why you would want to know. are your nights that fucking lonely these days or what?

Comment by andy@cynic

Daytime tweetstream.

Comment by John

you think thats a fucking excuse? daytime twatstream. who the fuck do you take me for. this is all too depressing, im off to get pissed.

Comment by andy@cynic

Errrrm, I’ve done all 3.


Comment by Rob

on the positive, you sound like a woman with pms so if you have to waste an hour or two doing some actual work (which isnt work but the closest fucking thing youll ever get to it) then youll be a petty little fuck which means annoying all the other “judges” and downgrading all the egotistical little fucks who think they can solve the worlds fucking problems just because they managed to get a 2.4% sales uplift on fairy fucking liquid.

Comment by andy@cynic

ignoring that the 2.4% ties in with a fucking starburst promotion the company ran with another fucking agency at the same bastard time.

Comment by andy@cynic

More gold.

Comment by DH

Does this mean the be nice to Rob day is over?

Comment by Billy Whizz

The Spikes? I suggest all entrants should be told they will receive a spike from the judges – its location being determined by the quality of their arguments.

Comment by John

Are you suggesting a gay thing Doddsy?

Comment by Billy Whizz

stop trying to be funny billy, you know it doesnt fucking suit you.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’ll do my bit for your happiness John.

Comment by Rob

I agree with Baz, your post sounds like wishful thinking but how you vote will set the agenda for future submissions so it’s worth maintaining your anger for the greater good.

I just hope your fellow judges feel the same way. Not for your sake, for theirs.

Comment by Pete

Well said Pete.

Comment by George

Oh, I forgot to add another thing I HATE.

When jury members say, “Well this won an award at Cannes” … as if that automatically means it must be amazing and should be treated with additional respect.

What’s the point of having juries if you are taking into account what other – completely different juries at completely different awards – deemed good or not.

It’s going to be an interesting day. Fortunately I’m not carrying anything sharp with me. Just my usual blunt brain.

Comment by Rob

I really love how you’re already feeling this way before you’ve even stepped in the jury room Rob. Bitten once or twice eh? 😉

So how was it in the end?

If it helps you can always tell yourself it was probably much, much worse in the other categories. Just imagine print.

Comment by Rafik

Judging riigour improves standards, expectations and the sense of accomplishment.

Comment by Lee Hill

I’m back.
And, judging by the mosty male ‘banter’ on this blog, your insight is very precise.
Well maybe not, I think Andy actually means it.
Incidentally, male friends bickering is the secret to some of the most enduring comedies…in fact, lazy as I am, most of my best ‘insights’ come from comedy- which makes sense since my career is mostly comedic anyway……….

Comment by northern

Hang on, are you saying people like me even though they slag me off on a daily basis? You could have saved me a fortune on psychiatrist bills.

And comedy is fantastic for insight, but mainly observational comedy – I don’t think you’d get very far basing your ideas on insights gleaned from old episodes of Benny Hill & Steptoe & Son.

Then again …

Comment by Rob

Partly agree – I tend to find that, naturally, observational stuff gives you ready madem candy coated insight, proven by how much people have laughed, but with sit-coms etc I’ve often found that there’s much to be learned from what we think people are really are responding to – for example the might Boosh is madly surreal but at the heart of it is a conventional dysfunctional cool bloke that gets the girls and sad ungainly mate dynamic

Comment by northern

Talking of getting the girl, look at my wife satisfying my curiosity of what she’d look like if she was possessed by the devil, ala a character from ‘The Ring’.


I would like to point out she did this of her own accord. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

what the fucking fuck is that.

how is that woman your wife? why does she fucking stick with you, you sick fucking fuck.

youre not a planner, youre a manipulating bastard genius and as much as i slag you off, im just deeply fucking jealous.

Comment by andy@cynic

Jesus christ.

PS. What Andy said.

Comment by DH

First you write “satan” on your wife’s head while she sleeps and now this. I won’t lie to you Robert, it’s disturbing and alarming.

Comment by George

sickening george. its fucking sickening.

Comment by andy@cynic

I see. *Ahem* Very good…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Oh my

Comment by northern

Comments are closed.