The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Actually it’s not even a day – because the meeting starts at 11am.

Of course, because I’m leaving from Shanghai, it means it’s basically going to take at least 3 days to go there, have the meeting and get back home again.

So not only will it take 72 hours for a 5 hour meeting, but the chances of me updating this blog for the rest of this week are basically zero.

How will you all cope?

Ahem.

But here’s the thing, whilst that information might make a ‘time and motion expert’ have a shit attack, the reality is I always end up doing more work when I’m away than I do when I’m at the office.

Now I know a lot of you think I do no bloody work at all – but believe it or not, I do – however when I’m away and done all the things I have to do [work] and want to do [explore] I find myself in my hotel room either catching up on the stuff I’ve missed, or doing the stuff that I always want to do but never seem to have the time to finish.

I am sure part of this is because when I’m away, I’m away from many of the things that consciously and/or subconsciously ensures there’s an ‘end point’ to my day.

Even though I will Skype with my wife, knowing I won’t physically see her means my urge to be with her has to be put on hold until I am home. Same with the cat.

[‘Be with her’ being a phrase about love, not perversion – especially if I say the same thing about Rosie the moggy!!]

If I’m hungry I can call room service and have anything I want delivered to my room and there’s a never-ending stream of Diet Coke either in the mini-bar or at the end of the phone.

Hell, even if the footie is on, I can sit there and watch it while I’m tapping away doing some bollocks on my computer.

In short, being away gives my employers a better return-on-their investment than when I am in the office – and that’s taking into account the cost of airfairs, hotels and food.

While I would never try and claim going away for work is a pain, there is an element of sacrifice in it – especially when you’re booked on 6am flights – and that is why I hate it when some companies treat anyone they’re sending away as if they’re having a luxury paid holiday.

I remember when we were doing our WPP experiment, one of their accountants questioned how much work I was doing as I was flying so often for them.

His view was that if I was on a plane, it meant a day out the office which in his one-dimensional, petty little mind translated to me having an additional day of paid holiday.

When I pointed out that the workload doesn’t stop when I am in the sky he still looked nonplus … so to fuck him off, I wrote to Sir Martin – copying the penny-pinching accountant – to state he had an employee who was obsessed with eradicating all wasteful employee time, however as he [Sir Martin] had been away on more company trips than me in that current year, he should pull his socks up because he’s obviously wasting more shareholder value than he’s earning.

Sure I got a bollocking but so did the accountant [not Sir Martin, the other one] because while work is important and – occasionally – fun, it’s no substitute for being at home with people who really care about you and your well being.

Mind you, I get to see old friends – and hopefully meet some of my previously ‘virtual’ ones – so even if the meeting is pants, something tells me the overall trip won’t be, even with a head of jetlag & a stomach full of plane “food”.