The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Things I Know Now, I Wish I Knew Then …
September 21, 2010, 6:22 am
Filed under: Comment

One of the things about getting older is that you start to realise how little you know and how much there’s still for you to see, do, experience and learn.

I’ve written about this before, but I feel that at 40, I’m only now just starting to recognise what I’m really interested in and what I want to aim for, and yet in the usual twist of life, I now have less time to achieve it which places additional [self imposed] pressure on my shoulders because I can’t stand the thought of at least not having a go.

Of course the other pain in the ass is that in 10 years time, I’ll have found another 10 years of things that will have captured my imagination so I am destined to be on my death bed and feeling pissed off because some things I wanted to do escaped me – however given I have a wonderful wife, family, life and, to a certain extent, career – not to mention all the usual stuff like health and friends etc etc – I can’t get too pissed off but you might need to remind me of that when I’m drawing my last breaths hopefully a very long time into the future.

But despite all that, there are some things I’ve learnt in my 40 years of life that would have been very useful to know when I was younger and some of these are:

1/ When someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means they just disagree with you.

2/ Women actually like men who talk openly to them about their hopes, dreams and feelings … so …

3/ … women will not destroy you if you talk to them. Especially if you follow lesson #2.

4/ Being healthy starts when you’re young.

5/ Insults can undermine someone’s confidence for the rest of their life.

6/ Your school days really are a special time in your life.

7/ You have to work hard to create fate.

8/ Responsible doesn’t mean boring.

9/ Success requires more than exam results.

10/ Your first job won’t be your last job which is why …

11/ … your first career doesn’t have to be your only career.

12/ Your World can – and should – extend beyond your street.

13/ Don’t take your friends and family for granted.

14/ ‘Bad timing’ really is a legitimate excuse.

15/ The World does need more artists, writers and inventors.

16/ Don’t listen to careers advisors. Ever.

17/ Life isn’t that scary, infact it’s quite exciting.

18/ Good things sometimes come to an end and it’s better to let go than to hang on.

19/ Don’t worry away your life.

20/ You won’t ever know all the answers.

21/ There’s someone for everyone.

22/ Life isn’t preordained.

23/ Popularity is overrated and strictness is underrated.

24/ Your parents were right about more things that you’d ever like to admit.

25/ Katrina Brindley was not the World’s most beautiful woman.

There’s plenty more, but what I’d love to hear are your lessons from the future … if only to reinforce what a fucked up little sod I was when I was younger, ha!

OK, so as of tomorrow, it’s basically holiday here till the 8th October so you’re basically free from my rubbish for almost 3 weeks, so enjoy every moment of peace & quiet but I guarantee you, as much as you think you’re living the dream, it won’t possibly be as much fun as I’ll be having.

God bless communism.

50 Comments so far
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Number 1 is wrong.

Comment by John

youre up late dodds? another night on the town with hot chicks or a re run of eastenders? thought so. how the fuck is albert square these days, still fucking depressing?

Comment by andy@cynic

Bailiffs took my telly.

Comment by John

another innocent victim paying the price of misfuckingfortune due to campbell association. on the bright side youre just missing repeats of shows first broadcast in nineteen fucking ninety one.

Comment by andy@cynic

so its come to this, a fucking list. lists are the last line of defense for people who have fuck all left to say and even though i spend every waking hour hoping thats true i know youve got more verbal fucking diorrehea than a politician so ill just put this down to you being in 3 week fucking holiday mode.

things ive learnt while reading this post.

1 im bored shitless.

2 i dont give a fuck what you have learnt.

3 you were possibly a sadder fuck at school than you are now.

4 unless your careers advisor told you to be a planner you have nothing to be angry to them about.

5 you never talked to her but you jerked off a lot thinking about katrina brindley and now you feel fucking dirty about it. not about the wanking, but that you wasted all that effort on some bird who wasnt going to win miss west bridgeford let alone miss fucking world. funny, because for all your million fucking faults, your taste in top totty has always been exemplary.

few other points campbell.

your first “lesson” should read “when someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means they just disagree with you. unless its andy and then youre definitely fucking wrong.

you say “good things sometimes come to an end and it’s better to let go than to hang on” well theres also the small fucking issue that bad things sometimes seems to go on forever and its always because youre stuck in a room with too many fucking planners and finally (because every word i type about this post kills me a little more) anyone who says “popularity is overrated” is just trying to feel better about the fact theyre as welcome as hitler at a barmitzvar so embrace your social leper because lets fucking face it, its not going to fucking change is it.

so congratulations campbell, youve managed to destroy my soul with this post so im just about in the right mental state to see you so come on, come and ruin my life you fuck, ill be at the pub doing shots and crystal meth awaiting his royal fucking highness.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s always lovely to wake up and see I’ve been massacred on my own blog. It makes me feel all warm inside. Sadly, the comment here is strangely accurate which means you know me better than I know myself which makes me want to kill myself – except I won’t because then you’d of won and I cannot let that happen.


Comment by Rob

The Katrina Brindley thing is frighteningly accurate except I did talk to her – infact we both kinda liked eachother but then the school fucking heart-throb, Dirk – in the year above -swept her off her feet and there’s no way I’d try and fight him for her because:

1/ I’m half Italian and don’t do ‘fighting’.
2/ Even if I did, he would have beaten the shit out of me.
3/ She wasn’t THAT good.

Comment by Rob

Your school heartthrob was called Dirk? Where did you grow up? Wisconsin?

Comment by northern

Given your talk about seducing [?] rich, bored housewives at a gym NP, I’d keep your mouth shut if I were you, ha!

Comment by Rob

You’re dead wrong about popularity.
James Blunt
Lady Sodding Ga Ga
and Queen…case closed

It’s much harder to stick to your principles, and in the end more rewarding

Comment by northern

But I said popularity is overrated so are you saying James Blunt, Lady Gaga and Queen deserve even more praise?

YOU LIKE JAMES BLUNT? Jeez, you’ve changed so much since becoming a Dad haven’t you …

Comment by Rob

“lists are the last line of defense for people who have fuck all left to say” explains why Stuff America went under, that’s all they ever printed.

Comment by DH

You know perfectly well I was replying to Andy’s blatherings. No wonder Katrina rejected you for Dirk from Wisconsin

Comment by northern

Anyone got any prozac, this shit just depressed the hell out of me.

Comment by Billy Whizz

any pills taken in enough quantities will make you feel better billy or should i say itll take away the fucking pain of reading this shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

oprah wants her script back.


Comment by lauren

and her fucking weight loss pills.

Comment by andy@cynic

Nice. Very, very nice.

Comment by Rob

I look forward to the post in 10 years time where you say you realise you should never of started a blog.

Comment by DH

I’ve not yet turned 25 and I can already see what you mean by your Number 24. I think it’s still best to ignore it though.

Comment by rafik

that came out wrong, but hopefully you’ll know what I meant.

Comment by rafik

Maybe it’s because I’m in holiday mode – but actually I’m not totally sureI know what you meant, but if it’s that you have to learn from your mistakes even if your parents tell you it’s a mistake … then I’m all for it, but then so were my parents, even though I have a sneaky suspicion they did it to laugh at my expense.

Comment by Rob

Oh, I am against the “let them make make their own mistakes philosophy”, but I think it’s inevitable that they/we will because it’s in human nature not to listen.

But I meant my comment was that even if they do turn out to be right an alarming amount of times, it’s best not to mention it because the I told you sos tend to be painful.

Comment by rafik

I actually like this post. A lot. And I’m fucked off with Boucher.

Comment by The Kaiser

Is it because I don’t talk about planning?

[PS: I’m seeing the guy I’m talking to you on your behalf on Friday – will find out more, but his situation is still highly fragile, just don’t want you thinking I’ve forgotten because I haven’t]

Comment by Rob

I know you haven’t. It’s not important so don’t worry about it.

Comment by The Kaiser

Shall I do a shit rationalisation to link it to planning?

Thought not.

Comment by Rob

14 is as true as taxes. though never easy to accept

ps. walk around with ur fly open once in a while (this is unisex, so ladies no angry replies). best way to learn how you spend to much thinking about what people think of you and how much time they don’t spend thinking about you.

Enjoy the holiday Rob.

@Andy, meth? I thought you was recession proof.. live and learn..

Comment by niko

useful lessons for me right now 🙂

Comment by Charinee

As if not getting all my wisdom first hand wasn’t enough. Of course, when I say ‘wisdom’, I mean learning how not to do stuff.

Comment by Rob

Aaaah Katrina Brindley. Girls truly scar teenage boys for life.
On the whole being young thing, most of the things you say and do in your teenage years will become cringeworthy to you in twenty years.

Comment by northern

Oh there’s a whole list NP – but Katrina was something to behold, as proven by the fact fucking Dirk came in and stole her away from me. The bastard.

Comment by Rob

You can’t please everyone

Comment by northern

Especially wives.

Not me of course … oh no. Cough cough.

Comment by Rob

Are you on Facebook?

Comment by Katrina Jenkins (nee Bradley)

Given you spelt your surname incorrectly, I am guessing your real surname is spelt D.O.D.D.S.

Or M.A.R.C.U.S.

Or N.O.R.T.H.E.R.N. G.R.O.P.E.R.

Or … oh fuck, there’s loads of you bastards who could/would do this.

Comment by Rob

Not me.

Comment by The Kaiser

Katrina Brindley?

You set up that account, didn’t you?
All these Jesus double entendres…

Comment by Jonathan

That is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. I am 99.056% sure it’s not her, but knowing my luck, it probably is.


Comment by Rob

Totally agree: 1, 12-20

Disagree: 6, 25

One of those is a joke…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

theres nothing i didnt know and wish id known when i look back. because the amount of rubbish i am willing to deal with in one fell swoop is limited. and life aint pretty. even though, so far, it has been much prettier for me than for the majority of people on this planet. do i sound grumpy? i am. now lets all chant the serenity prayer together 😉

Comment by peggy

marcus thinks im a fuck. peggy is chanting prayers. jonathan is finding random women who share the same name as some bird rob used to pull one off thinking about and not one bastard feels for me and the impending hell i will have when campbell comes round and systemfuckingmatically fucks up my day, week and life all over afuckingain. bunch of bastards.

Comment by andy@cynic

Deal with it.

Comment by The Kaiser

Rule 19 andy.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

werent you supervising the builders? and didnt have much fun doing this? just admit you are looking forward to see rob interrupting your exhausting client life 😛

Comment by peggy

youve all been supping at the fucking campbell kool aid, its the only possible answer for such mass fucking insolence.

im calling for help, even david fucking koresh wasnt this powerful.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by The Kaiser

kool aid cups have always passed me. probably because of my insolent character. guess who else is safe.

Comment by peggy

Rise above the provocation. Take him out for a meal. Chinese perhaps.

Comment by John

God I love this blog. (And the comments.)

Comment by Thomas

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