The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Alone In The Wilderness …
March 8, 2010, 6:30 am
Filed under: Comment

So I’m in Shanghai most of this week which means thanks to the Great Firewall of China, I’ll be in solitary [blog] confinement till next Monday …

I’ve pre-written the posts for the rest of the week, however to ensure I’ve not got to go through ten tons of comments slagging me off when I return, I thought I’d use this week to ask for your help on something.

Basically the lovely Bazza has asked me to write a little thing for Apple about the traits I believe make a great planner.

Even though I know he only asked me because everyone else was busy, I’m very touched … however I must admit my mood did wobble when he added the ‘mandatory’ … namely each statement can only be one sentence in length.


OK, so I know someone with bad grammar could probably stretch that one sentence into a book, but Baz would never let me get away with that, so I’m in serious trouble.

Of course I know that according to planning folklore, I’m supposed to be able to simplify complexity into interesting, engaging and liberating bite-sized chunks [“Brain vitamins” as George likes to say] – but let’s not forget I’m the guy who can write long blog posts about bloody toilets, so I must admit to feeling a little intimidated … so intimidated in fact, that I’m going to ask for your help in developing them.

Basically over this week – while I’m trying not to get arrested – I’m going to be posting a statement a day [in no particular order and not really thought-through yet] that I think is kinda-important in becoming a good planner and then, based on the underlying message of what that statement is saying, I’d like you guys to contribute your own … remembering to stick to the single sentence.

In all, Bazza wants a total of 12 statements, with each being – in his words – a nugget of guidance and inspiration.

I have no idea what that actually means, but as he works directly for God Jobs, I’m sure he does … so if you want to stand a chance of entering Mr iPods consciousness in some way, then please feel free to contribute but please remember this is not about showing how intelligent you are, it’s about showing how inspirational.

OK, to get things started, here’s my first:

Planners make average interesting, if they don’t, they’re not a planner, they’re an administrator.

Remember, add your own – but stick to the underlying message of each statement – or you’re off brief and slapped on the wrist!

39 Comments so far
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“I’m an artist. Give me a fucking tuba and I’ll get something out of it for you.” JL

Comment by niko

what the fuck did bazza go to you for?

fuck knows especially when youre quoting george and not crediting him for it you sick, clever bastard. well make a creative scammer out of you yet.

heres my fucking 2 pennies of genius but i want more than 2 pennies to use them:

“a good planner can take something every fucker knows and shine a new light on why we do it and what we can do with it”

you might have to take the swearing out and i dont mean a single fucking word of it, i just want to enter jobs brain.

Comment by andy@cynic

do you think if i tell the chinese authorities about campbells google links theyll keep him and lock him away?

got to be worth a fucking go hasnt it?

Comment by andy@cynic

Planners unearth the why.

Comment by John

are you trying to sound like yoda doddsy? same age i suppose.

Comment by andy@cynic

I was tempted to write “planners should be paid more” but decided against to.

I believe the meaning behind your/George’s quote is good planners create ideas everyone can build off, they don’t just create pages of powerpoint slides.

With that in mind, my quote would be “a good planner can develop commercial ideas that can exite any industry and the minds of any person within that industry”

Comment by Pete

Andy, your quote sounds like a researcher, not a planner. The bit at the end is OK but the rest doesn’t quite work so pull out and let my statement get in the Jobs book.

Comment by Pete

get in the jobs book? get in the jobs centre more like if you keep pulling shit like that.

you little star fucker pete and you work with me so you should be used to dealing with brilliance.

campbell, when you are out of your shanghai jail, remove petes bollocks for punishment though leaving it up there for everyone to see might be punishment enough.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Pete

yeah smile it up buddy.

and where the fuck is bazz? since the announcement of the apple sanitary hes been no where to be seen and not just because hes 2 feet tall.

i think ive just worked out why the bastard didnt ask me to do this apple thing. grudge baring fucker.

Comment by andy@cynic

im a little lost what the statement means, out of context, and where rephrasing starts. but heres my take anyway.

a good planner finds the interesting aspects of seemingly average things.

Comment by peggy

if you need to describe what a good planner does, they’re not doing their job.

Comment by lauren

A master of discovery –

“Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no one else has thought.” Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Comment by Jacob

Planners provide a bridge between research and inspiration

Comment by northern

Plqnners make anything interesting by being interested in anything

Comment by northern

Planners make sense of complexity for everyone else

Comment by northern

Planners funnel all of the unnecessary information away.

Comment by Will

Planners humanise businesses.

Comment by Will

I can do a whole blog about toilets.

Comment by Marcus

planners want to suck steve jobs cock.

what about that one bazza?

Comment by andy@cynic

not bad Boucher. not bad at all.

Comment by Marcus

not a hard audience to rip the piss of them is it marcus.

like taking insights from a planner.

Comment by andy@cynic

Has a mutual love and loathing of creatives [I.e.: Can challenge but ultimately work with them]

Can simplify the complex

Sees creative opportunity where others cannot

Understands people (not just trends)

Can throw away the unnecessary / Know what isn’t important (often that is more vital than seperating what IS)

Never stops wanting to learn

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Oh, and Celine fucking Dion??
Oh dear.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Better than Queen

Comment by northern

you think we cant see what youre trying to do northern?

youre fucking right but thats besides the fucking point.

Comment by andy@cynic

Hell no.

I will start by saying I am not a queen fan. But at least their songs were about listener enjoyment not ‘how many notes can I squeal in 3 seconds’.

The only way in which Dion is better is in not playing Sun City during apartheid…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

while were here talking fucking queen, campbell is spending the night in some shanghai jail doing all he can to avoid having an arse like a clowns pocket. funny how life turns out isnt it.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not yet. But they’re working on it.

Comment by Rob

Bet Celine Dionne wears slippers

Comment by northern

Also – Celine Dion the musical would be worse than water boarding

Comment by Rob Mortimer

you dont know when to keep your trap shut do you northern. and i bet queen warble absofuckinglutely wears slippers. so that should make you feel good about your life shouldnt it northern. you wear the same slippers as titanic screamer. hold the fucking front page of sad slipper daily.

Comment by andy@cynic

..but hers will be diamon encrusted.
Mine are cool.

Comment by northern

That should have been ‘diamond’

Comment by northern

Good planners turn complicated into basic and basic into inspiring.

Bad planners talk and dress like a wanker, think they’d make a better creative than the creatives they work with and bore the crap out of everyone they meet.

Comment by Angus

youre hurting campbells feelings angus. and making mine.

Comment by andy@cynic

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