The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Wishing My Life Away …
March 4, 2010, 6:12 am
Filed under: Comment

So later this year I turn 40 … and it’s causing all sorts of thoughts and re-evaluations in my life.

Now I assume this is quite normal – however for me, the main driver for all this thought process is less to do with the supposed social significance of turning that age, and more to do with my mortality.

You see my Dad died when he was 60 … and even though I intend to be around till at least the year 2069 … there is a little voice in my head telling me I am about to enter the final third of my life.

Depressing huh?

Well yes and no, however the good bit is that even though I know/hope I have at least double the number of years I’ve lived so far, left in me … this ‘mythical 2 decades left’ has forced me to look at what I really want to fill my future days/weeks/life with and that is an absolutely wonderful exercise in humanity.

The reality is that I’ve been very fortunate in my life so far – doing most of the things I’ve wanted to do both personally and professionally – however as I evolve [hahaha!], I realise there are new challenges, new experiences and new questions I want to discover and answer, so whilst I am not suggesting I will suddenly relinquish my responsibilities, by having this imaginary timeline imposed upon myself, I am ensuring my future will be as much about investing in the ‘new’ as it will be protecting and treasuring the old.

It’s quite liberating really … so even though I intend to be around for way more than 20 years [sorry!] and would give anything to still be able to talk to, listen to and kiss my Dad … the absolutely wonderful thing is that he’s still managing to encourage me [as is my wonderful and beautiful Mum] to keep looking forward with the most open and curious mind as possible and where parenting is concerned, I reckon that is just about the greatest and most precious gift you could ever give to a child.


49 Comments

you soft, daft fucker campbell but youre my soft, daft fucker. 

very nice post this. open, warm, genuine and gentle. takes balls to do that,  must be youre english side. lol.  

youre going to live till youre 110 just to bug the shit out me but i wouldnt want it any other way. actually i would but mrs c might read this and i dont want to get into her bad books. 

pretty fucking inspiring post for something talking about an early death but underneath all the bullshit you can be a pretty inspiring guy. if i write your speech.

theres a fuckload more than 20 years of mayhem lying inside of you campbell, so look after yourself we all want to see it. 

Comment by andy@cynic

You certainly have a curious mind.

Comment by John

as opposed to filthy like yours dodds. but flithy is better.

Comment by andy@cynic

the plot thickens…

sparking even more interesting questions…

Comment by niko

It’s called a midlife crisis because it’s mid life so don’t worry about this 20 year dead-line, you’ve got much, much longer to keep annoying Andy.

Joking aside, when you write like this, showing your emotional side not just your smart side, it’s wonderful to read. This is a very honest and vulnerable post and as if we didn’t know it already, really shows how much you love and respect your parents.

Now tell me, is this your way of announcing you’re going to be a Dad?

Comment by Pete

fuck me id not thought of that pete.

are you having bambinos campbell? are you going to be a stay at home mom?

the thought chills me to the fucking bone. youd be a great dad its a mini you that scares the shit out if me. must talk to jill right fucking now.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thank you for your first comment Andy – but be careful, I might start to think you care and are a big softy at heart. Ha.

Don’t worry, this is not an announcement about kids – at least not that I know of. Funnilly enough, that is one of the subjects that’s causing me thinking time.

As many of you may know, when I was much, much younger I was desperate to be a Dad – and then because of other factors, that desire diminished somewhat … however now, at the cusp of 40 [luckily with a much younger wife] I realise that if we want children, we have to start getting on with it.

However here’s the ‘issue’.

On one hand I really love the idea of infecting the World with more Robert/Roberta’s … not just for the sick pleasure of it all, but because I think it would be amazing and that Jill and I would make pretty good parents … however this bloody mythicAl ’20 years’ is making me question whether I’d prefer to just spend the time going on wonderful adventures with my wonderful wife.

I know it’s a ridiculous situation as I’m going to live more than 20 years and children are amazing and do not need to ‘stop you exploring life’ … it’s just, as Pete said, a mid-life crisis of confidence – which is at least better than blowing all our cash at the casino or at the Ferrari garage and then snorting copious amounts of coke off a strippers tits.

Saying that, changes are afoot … good changes … changes brought on by the mythical timeframe … changes that see me having an actual kind-of plan for the first time in my life … a plan that will allow me to experience and explore stuff before [hopefully] leading to something that I really am excited by, even though the work to get there will be hard and different to anything I’ve ever done before.

Hence the unveiling of Robert 2.0 is at least 5 to 7 years away … and as an only child … that wait is killing me, haha!

I should also point out my beloved wife is being wonderful about this. She knows I’m just having ‘a moment’ and whilst she gently tells me “I’m a fucking weirdo”, she is supporting me through this mindfuck time – though I also know there’s a point where she’ll snap and stop the illusion of letting me think I have a say in the decisions we make, ha!

Comment by Rob

Children don’t hold you back Robert, they help you grow in every way possible. You’d love it and be a great father so just get on with it.
There is also no need for you to be concerned that children will stop your adventures in life. Just ensure you have business partners who enjoy starting companies but don’t actually wish to permanently live where they are located. It worked for me.
That aside, this is a wonderfully inspiring post and gives more evidence that your parents are very special indivisuals.
Hello Mrs Campbell.

Comment by George

You don’t have to worry Robert, you’ll still be doing interesting and exciting things when you’re well into your 90s, children and grandchildren in tow.

It does alarm me that I find myself agreeing with Andrew’s first comment, but he has managed to sum up my views quite succinctly.

Interesting post.

Comment by Lee Hill

Why has this all started to be about children?

OK … OK … I’ll have them – happy? But this is way, way, waaaaaay bigger than just that single subject, this is about fundamentally looking at what I want to have in my life and actively working towards it rather than simply adopting the attitude of ‘protecting what I’ve got’.

Personally I think that’s quite liberating because whilst people may all talk about that kind of thing, this mythical final 1/3 of life is making me do shit … stuff that is going to be quite different for me … out of my comfort zone kinda stuff … it’s not about having babies, it’s about taking back the discovery and experience part of life.

God I sound like bloody Oprah, how horrible. I think I’ll go get my coat before I turn into the bastard love child of Oprah and Bono – which even my parents would be upset about, ha!

Comment by Rob

If you do pop your clogs in 7300 days, can I have your guitars and music/film collection?

Comment by Billy Whizz

No. But you can have my Viz annuals.

Comment by Rob

this has become about children because it read like you would be announcing something like that rob. changes, parenting, the new, the old… what to do with life? my answers always have been, and still are, quite simplistic. which is somehow scaring me… interms of kids. yes, kids again : ) i have always said i would adopt a child. people usually find that weird. i dont know why… having read your post and comment got me thinking that maybe this has always been my subconscious way trying to extend and outsmart the time on my clock. madonna would agree, i guess.

now im just wondering what those changes are that you are looking forward to. whatever they may be, i am wishing you the best of luck.

Comment by peggy

What I find interesting Peggy is that because I am almost 40 and saying things like ‘a desire for new challenges’ people automatically assume that means I’m talking about having kids.

Very interesting … though it will also scare the crap out of my Mum and wife because they know if there’s one thing I hate – and more likely to make me go off and do something different – it’s societies expectations on what I should be doing – and the order in which I should do them.

So basically you lot are denying my Mother her rightfully place as ‘Granny of 2010/11’ … I hope you are all very pleased with yourselves.

🙂

Comment by Rob

Brilliant.

Comment by Marcus

The post, the bullying to have a baby or the fact I’m a little tit who would bit his nose to spite his face?

Comment by Rob

The post you knob.

Comment by Marcus

forgive him marcus, he wasnt wearing “northen slippers” when he made that unmanly comment.

Comment by andy@cynic

Mild life crisis?

Comment by northern

Mild life crisis?

Maybe … but luckily the Toto listening, slack wearing, wine pondering phase hasn’t happened yet so I might just make it through.

Comment by Rob

It’s a little peturbing when you reach an age when you have to think about your own mortality and that of those around you.
My wife has an arthritis scare recently which sparked all sorts of scary thoughts.
I’m lucky to still have my father, but he wa really ill a couple of years ago, made me realise I wasn’t (am not still) prepared to be the ultimate backstop in my family.
Also made me realise what was really important – hence recent life changes.

Comment by northern

…and I have begun to wear slippers.
‘It’s too late for me Luke’

Comment by northern

what have you done with our andy, you sick fuck!?!

rob, seeing as you’re having a moment, you should really embrace it. give yourself a good working over. it’ll work a treat!

here’s 5 ways to really put the boot in: 1. go into the nearest police station and notice how young the kids, er constables, on the counter are.
2. find one of those “whose starting uni this year” memes – you know, what went on in the year that these freshers were BORN (1992: vince neil left motley crue, nirvana is #1 on billboard charts).
3. work out how many working weeks you’ve got left to top up your superannuation. ok, so that’s probably not that scary for you, but still…
4. get your prostate, heart and bowel checked.
5. buy a walking stick, as an investment.

and then you should go and check out a video of george clinton from parliament/funkadelic and remember how disgracefully you REALLY wanna be ageing. 🙂

love you!

Comment by lauren

Funnily enough I had a minor meltdown recently when I found out I was older than a British MP … and even more spooky is we just hired someone born in1991 which still offends me to the point where I know they will forever suffer my wrath by simply being young, vibrant and as smart as hell.

I have a pension, regular health check ups … my life is fucked which is why I still have my Birkies because they may be shit, but at least they’re not sensible brown brogues.

Hope Mrs NP is better Mr Northern and thanks for fucking with my plans to join the circus Lauren, ha.

Comment by Rob

Born in 1991 was female I assume – you’re so transparent.

Comment by John

Bollocks. But at least this one has never appeared in FHM/Maxim … we’re maturing. Sadly. Ha.

Comment by Rob

And watch any video that includes Peter Stringfellow.
I work with people born AFTER return of the Jedi came out, no that’s easy, AFTER the first Gulf War and Sonic the Hedgehog coming out.
Need to lay down

Comment by northern

There’s a story from William Burdon about Paul Arden which I like (lifted from the last comment here http://bit.ly/dbpAEf ). William talks about a time when they all flew to France to shoot a film for Courvoisier:

‘On the way home, we were getting pissed at Bordeaux airport, and asked each other what could be the greatest gift you could give your children. Moray and I gave some kind of inane account-man answer – “Ferrari”, I suspect. Paul’s answer was “a sense of wonder.”‘

Seemed apt.

Comment by neilperkin

I like that Neil …

I heard one recently [but actually not in the slightest bit the same] about a dinner party where a guest tried to liven up the atmosphere by asking what’s the worst thing that ever happened to you. After comments like “vomiting on my wife” and “falling asleep in a meeting” … one of the guests replied,

“Watching my father die in pain and fear”

Kind of put a dampner on the frivolities.

And no it wasn’t Andy … but this one was …

We were all in New York going into some poncy drinks function. George walked in first to which Andy screamed at the top of his voice … “I’m heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!” before running back behind the door, slamming it shut and holding the handle so George’s desperate attempts to run away couldn’t be achieved.

Poor bastard ended up turning around to see a room full of wankers staring at him like he was a piece of egotistical shit on their shoes.

Talking of egotistical shit … how is Bono these days?

Comment by Rob

put hairs on his fucking chest. still never thanked me though.

Comment by andy@cynic

You know when I said that this mythical limited timeline was liberating me rather than depressing me?

Well all your comments have done brilliantly in changing that. Haha!

On the bright side, I don’t wear slippers … hell, I don’t even wear shoes … what are you doing NP???

Good job I can’t turn back time, I’d of not written my fawning post about you last Monday, ha!

Comment by Rob

slippers?

even auntie george isnt that sad and hes a dad of 3 and under the fucking thumb.

Comment by andy@cynic

a)It’s minus bloody 3 degrees in Leeds at night at the moment and my feet look highly unnatractive when they’re blue
b)I’m too tight fisted to turn the heating up
c) They actually look quite good, not like slippers at all
d) So you judge people by what the wear?

Comment by northern

a) wimpy fuck. even campbell the gayest straight man in the universe still wears his fucking birkies in winter and youre proper northern so theres no fucking excuse.

b) northern cliche.

c) of course they do northern. of course they do.

d) when they admit they wear fucking slippers i do.

glad to have helped.

Comment by andy@cynic

I am to self confident and cool to need to respond. It takes real man to admit he wears slippers – I am that man.

Comment by northern

That was ‘too self confident’ – I may be cool but I’m still illiterate

Comment by northern

just heard johnny depp has rushed out to m&s to buy some “northern planner self confident and cool man slippers”. oh no he hasnt.

Comment by andy@cynic

Roberto 🙂 spoken from the heart.

Let the heart lead you, and stop planning Robert/Roberto 2 assuming it will happen when you want it to. I spent all my younger years KNOWING I would be a Mum and not once thinking that actually nature can be a total shit. 13 years of trying and only one very precious baby from one miracle IVF despite many hopes and attempts at more and frankly we just got damned lucky with that one. Don’t count your chickens Rob. Sorry turned this post back into the child topic! So in the meantime rob a bank, pick up your guitar, do what you have to do and have your mid life crisis but chuck your contraception away and let nature take its course!

xx

Comment by BTBB

How can he chuck his personality away. Boom tish!

Comment by John

what personality? boom boom tish

Comment by andy@cynic

might be wrong but isnt campbell saying what youre saying, dont leave things to chance/fate/andy to sort out, put things in place to encourage the fucker to happen?

might not been about babies but who knows what the fuck it was about but pretty sure it was about doing other shit you want to do and not let other crap stop or blindside you. spells and smells like trouble to me but if it means he stops riding on my fucking coat tails he wont hear a word of complaint from me. lol.

Comment by andy@cynic

Hello BTBB … how the hell are you lovely?

Thanks to everyone for their comments, very interesting … however the thing I find incredibly amusing is that if you knew what I was doing, about to do and working to do, you’d probably all have very, VERY different comments – not because you don’t think the baby discussion isn’t important, but because you’d be going ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!

But thank you … and as I venture forward with my most unmid-life crisis of activities, I’ll get your feedback – that is if this blog still exists. Ha.

Comment by Rob

I’m well thanks my love. As usual Rob you come back with a response that now leaves us in geat expectation! xx

Comment by BTBB

“that is if this blog still exists”

just seen this. what the fuck do you mean by that campbell?

dont you start raising our hopes / scaring the shit out of us.

(im in the “raising hope” camp but think of everyone else and their empty fucking lives, you selfish shit)

Comment by andy@cynic

You’ll find out soon enough won’t you Andy!

Comment by Rob

Are you going to be a grid girl?

Comment by John

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good post, better comments as always.

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