The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I find that amazing because I still think the 90’s were only a couple of years ago … so even though it makes me sound like an old fart, I have to ask where the hell does time go!?

My wife has a theory about this which is basically …

If you are 6 years old, then 1 year is equal to 1/6 of your life, just like if you are 60 years of age, then that represents 1/60th of your life … therefore over time, a year becomes a smaller & smaller proportion of your overall life and therefore feels shorter.

To be honest, I’m still trying to get my head around that concept but what I do know is that when I read a magazine and it features someone who says they were born in 1990, my first reaction is that they look old for their age before remembering that it’s 2009, not 1999 so they’re almost bloody twenty which means I’m a bloody old fart who is nearly 40.

FORTY!

Jesus, the next significant age after that is 50.

FIFTY.

And then I’m only 10 short years till retirement and waiting for the grim reaper to come and get me.

HOLY FUCK I’M GOING TO DIE SOON.

Christ, where did that all come from? Sorry about that – kinda lost it there for a minute – and given my Mum still goes to rock concerts at nearly 80 [even if it was because she thought the Electric Light Orchestra [ELO] were a symphony group rather than 70’s Rock Gods] I guess I am not destined to be one of those people sitting at home in my slippers watching Coronation Street and complaining how the streets were safe ‘back in my day’.

That’s kind of disappointing because it sounds quite nice.

Remember, loose lips sink careers.

Anyway, over the next few weeks, I am sure we’re going to be inundated with blog posts detailing the authors year … and I bet I am not going to be an exception … so instead of boring everyone stupid, why don’t we have a bit of fun and reinstate that character assassinating questionnaire NP and Mr M subjected me to a few years ago and develop a set of probing questions – all linked to our individual activities of the last 12 months – which we all have to answer on a designated day prior to buggering off for whatever festive break we’re getting?

Think of the opportunities …

HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU EARN?

WHAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST DEVIOUS THING YOU DID AND TO WHOM?

Get the idea?

OK, to allow people a little modesty, my thought is we come up with 15 questions of which the recipient can choose to answer any 10 from. Sound alright?