The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

THIRTY NINE!

That means I will be 365 days from turning 40.

HOLYFUCKINGMOLY!

I’ve written many times how I don’t feel my age … hell, this blog certainly shows I don’t act it … but the fact of the matter is that by the end of the week, I’ll be in my last year of another decade.

Now people say ’40 is the new 30’ … but the reality is the only people who actually say that are in their forties because anyone aged 30 to 39 know they’d rather die than be of an age where it starts with the number 4.

I remember the first time I went to someone’s 40th birthday and it freaked me out that I knew someone that old – and yet here I am, making plans for some stupidly immature bash with my gay best mate Paul, in [very] little over 12 months time.

Your 30’s are supposedly the decade you ‘make it’ … and whilst a hell of a lot of good things have happened to me in the last 9 years … the next 12 months is either going to be the most significant year of my life, or my slow and painful decent into the ‘where are they now’ bin.

But enough of all this despondency – I’m turning not 39, not 40 – and so whilst I’ll be spending it in a far and distant land, sitting through a production line of research groups featuring a multitude of people, all lying to a moderator using a variety of languages – none of which I have a hope in hell of ever understanding – it’s still something that should be looked forward to, at least compared to what I will be feeling this time next year.

Being on the cusp on a new decade is weird.

It seems to hold so much significance and yet in reality, it doesn’t really change much except your attitude.

Remember how excited you were when you turned 10?

How suddenly you felt all important … grown up … mature even?

Of course it was all bollocks because you still judged masculinity on how far someone could pull a wheelie on a Raleigh Grifter and you all continued to think pouring a Sherbet Fountain in your mouth till you looked like a rabid dog was the funniest thing you’d ever seen/done … but regardless of that, moving on from one decade to another felt it was a big thing and even if your actions didn’t change much, your attitude to how you looked at time, did.

This isn’t a new concept – many people feel the same sort of thing when Jan 1st comes around – and while there’s been all sorts of rationales presented for this attitude, my personal favourite was a Bishop I once met who said it was all linked to the bible. I can’t quite remember why, but it had ‘Da Vinci Code’ written all over it.

[I’ve just realised that if the Bishop explanation is supposedly my favourite, it’s pretty bloody pathetic I can’t actually remember the specifics of what he said. Oh well … ]

Anyway enough of all this bollocks – the reality of this post [as if you didn’t know] is that this is a not-so-subtle attempt to remind you it’s my birthday on Friday and whilst from tomorrow, I won’t be in a place that has any sort of internet connection till the 17th June [so no blog posts till then, you lucky, lucky buggers], I am hoping when I do finally get to log on to this pile of shite, I will be inundated with messages/comments of love. Hell, I’ll even take your messages of abuse – though it won’t make me feel special as you give me that everyday.

Jesus … can you imagine how horrid my post next year is going to be?

If I were you, I’d run for the hills before it’s too late because given I’ve already started to think what significant things have happened to me between 2000 and 2010, you just know it’s not going to be a positive experience.