The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

And Now, The End Is Near …
June 10, 2009, 6:50 am
Filed under: Comment

So on Friday, at 22:10 hours [GMT time] I turn thirty nine.


That means I will be 365 days from turning 40.


I’ve written many times how I don’t feel my age … hell, this blog certainly shows I don’t act it … but the fact of the matter is that by the end of the week, I’ll be in my last year of another decade.

Now people say ’40 is the new 30’ … but the reality is the only people who actually say that are in their forties because anyone aged 30 to 39 know they’d rather die than be of an age where it starts with the number 4.

I remember the first time I went to someone’s 40th birthday and it freaked me out that I knew someone that old – and yet here I am, making plans for some stupidly immature bash with my gay best mate Paul, in [very] little over 12 months time.

Your 30’s are supposedly the decade you ‘make it’ … and whilst a hell of a lot of good things have happened to me in the last 9 years … the next 12 months is either going to be the most significant year of my life, or my slow and painful decent into the ‘where are they now’ bin.

But enough of all this despondency – I’m turning not 39, not 40 – and so whilst I’ll be spending it in a far and distant land, sitting through a production line of research groups featuring a multitude of people, all lying to a moderator using a variety of languages – none of which I have a hope in hell of ever understanding – it’s still something that should be looked forward to, at least compared to what I will be feeling this time next year.

Being on the cusp on a new decade is weird.

It seems to hold so much significance and yet in reality, it doesn’t really change much except your attitude.

Remember how excited you were when you turned 10?

How suddenly you felt all important … grown up … mature even?

Of course it was all bollocks because you still judged masculinity on how far someone could pull a wheelie on a Raleigh Grifter and you all continued to think pouring a Sherbet Fountain in your mouth till you looked like a rabid dog was the funniest thing you’d ever seen/done … but regardless of that, moving on from one decade to another felt it was a big thing and even if your actions didn’t change much, your attitude to how you looked at time, did.

This isn’t a new concept – many people feel the same sort of thing when Jan 1st comes around – and while there’s been all sorts of rationales presented for this attitude, my personal favourite was a Bishop I once met who said it was all linked to the bible. I can’t quite remember why, but it had ‘Da Vinci Code’ written all over it.

[I’ve just realised that if the Bishop explanation is supposedly my favourite, it’s pretty bloody pathetic I can’t actually remember the specifics of what he said. Oh well … ]

Anyway enough of all this bollocks – the reality of this post [as if you didn’t know] is that this is a not-so-subtle attempt to remind you it’s my birthday on Friday and whilst from tomorrow, I won’t be in a place that has any sort of internet connection till the 17th June [so no blog posts till then, you lucky, lucky buggers], I am hoping when I do finally get to log on to this pile of shite, I will be inundated with messages/comments of love. Hell, I’ll even take your messages of abuse – though it won’t make me feel special as you give me that everyday.

Jesus … can you imagine how horrid my post next year is going to be?

If I were you, I’d run for the hills before it’s too late because given I’ve already started to think what significant things have happened to me between 2000 and 2010, you just know it’s not going to be a positive experience.

[PS: Happy Birthday to Jill & Paul as well [15th/16th June] How I wish you were going to have as bad a birthday experience as me, but given the circumstances I’ll be in from Friday, I know that’s not possible so have a good time – just don’t tell me about it!]

29 Comments so far
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Hope you enjoy the visit to your spiritual home.

Comment by John

with posts like this you might not see your fucking 40th.

and i dont fucking respond to threats/pleas/begging so youre birthday request better be backed up with a cash offer or you can go back to your billy no fucking mates corner.


Comment by andy@cynic

alright you can take someone with you. as long as its george.

its mine. its all mine.

Comment by andy@cynic

Sorry to tell you this John, but my spiritual home got moved thanks to a certain dictator channeling his best Scooby-Doo villain impression … however the good news [for you] is that the revised destination is of an equal horror so you be rest assured my birthday will consist of the same desperate emptiness as I was going to experience previously.

Comment by Rob

And the even better news [for you] is the technological capabilities of my new birthday-party-for-one ‘home’ is just as bad so you’ll be Campbell Blog free till next Wednesday. Consider it my present to you – though I’d rather give you a hand grenade with the pin pulled out. Obviously. 🙂

Comment by Rob

Having just read this post, I have cancelled all my meetings and will spend the day deciding whether I should slit my wrists and be done with life. Thank you so much for injecting such optimism into my day. Happy birthday.

Comment by Lee Hill

So you’re saying I helped change your behaviour?

I should use it as a case study for effective planning and communication – but could you mention it in your suicide note just to ensure there’s no misunderstandings. Thanks.

Comment by Rob

happy birthday rob! ..and seb.. and will (all these bloody birthdays! sheesh, summer in the northern hemisphere is not THAT great..)

i hope you all have a smashing time – i’m rather glad you’ve all been born, so i’ll be celebrating with you 🙂

and rob, just so you know, pouring a Sherbet Fountain in my mouth until i look like a rabid dog is still the funniest thing i’ve ever seen/done. fact.

Comment by lauren

Rob there is a saying “you are only as old as the woman you feel” so be thankful for your younger beautiful wife. Nik x

Comment by BTBB

You can say/do whatever you like Lauren because you sent me something brilliant … something soooooooooooooo brilliant it’s being framed and will be hung up at the entrance of Sunshine Towers [even though some may not realise how positive a statement it is]

And thank you Nik for the comment … but if what you say is true, what about my poor wife???

Comment by Rob

She’s obviously after your money!

Comment by BTBB

What Lee said.

Comment by Marcus

It’s not your birthday yet, which is good news for you because after your view on turning 40, I wouldn’t be inclined to give you anything but the (birthday) finger.

Comment by George

in the entrance? i want proof of that one 🙂 you gotta send me a pic.. heh.

Comment by lauren

seems like i missed out on some fun in my childhood. what s the deal with that sherbet fountain and the “hollow stick of liquorice to suck it all up”?

oh, and i had feelings of gratuitous panic since my 25th. it is getting worse every year, setting in weeks before the date. how strange… given i m far from 40 😉

hope all you birthday girls and boys are going to have a lovely day!

Comment by peggy

Do people even live past the age of 40 and if they do, what’s the point?

Comment by Billy Whizz

what s the meaning of life anyway? : )

Comment by peggy

Happy Birthday, you youngster. The secret to being successful at aging is to always act at least 15 years younger than you really are. That puts me at about…38. Damn.

Comment by adchick

I am away tomorrow Robert so here are my official birthday wishes. Now, no more anti 40 comments please. Try and have a good day.

Comment by Lee Hill

well if youre fucking doing it lee, i suppose id better fucking do it as well.

happy birthday you old fucker, have a slightly less shit time than you thought you were going to have. what a fucking great friend i am.

Comment by andy@cynic

Happy birthday Robert even if the end is nigh.

Comment by George

Happy birthday Robbie. Hope you have a yummy time. Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

Happy birthday Robert, from all of us.
Come back soon.

Comment by Mary Bryant

Happy birthday Rob, see you at AC/DC.

Comment by Bazza

More successfull than David Ogilvy (at 39). Happy birthday Rob.
Stay hungry.

Comment by niko

Happy birthday Rob.

Focusing on rejoicing the fact you were born could help kick the birthday blues. If you weren’t born in the first place, you wouldn’t have made it to 39.

Now what I have to do is take my own advice.

Have a blast.


Comment by naoko

Thank you very much for the nice[ish] comments but as of this moment, I have not received any cheques which is getting slightly worrying.

Back Wednesday with an uber-rant … don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Comment by Rob

cheque’s in the mail mate..

Comment by lauren

oh fuck, youre back.

Comment by andy@cynic

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