The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Clarity Amongst The Confusion …
April 1, 2008, 6:30 am
Filed under: Comment

Beckys' fogged glasses

As many know, Asia is a region where myth and legend dictates many of the behaviours of the people.

From the order you meet family members over the Chinese New Year period through to the obsession with group validation – there are cultural rules that most Westerners cannot even recognise, let alone understand.

I was recently pointed towards an amazing blog that aims to help people like me understand the seemingly random motivations of the regions population.

Asian Yang is a blog run and managed by graduates at the respected research company Halibat Fisher – so ignore the graphics and just focus on the content – and what they have done [and continue to do] is shed some real light on why certain things are so passionately followed by the people here.

To help you understand just how mindfucking it can all be, I highlight 2 great posts from the blog and if you’re interested in knowing more, I encourage you to go visit the site for yourself.

The Asian Proclivity for Rice Explained

While most Asians share common rituals, the value system on which it is based show distinct gender skews.

Rice is the staple diet for over 82.17% of Asian meals, as revealed in a Halibut Fisher survey.

A DISCOVERY YANG MINING™ showed that the male in Asian families chose rice as staple due to the quantum expansion of the grain during cooking, hence eating rice is believed to give them rapid success within a short time.

The Asian female on the other hand showed her preference for family bonding.In the Halibut Fisher survey Asian women chose rice as the sticky nature of the grains conveyed a sense of the family being together, eating rice they believed kept their family bond strong.

bowl-white-rice.jpg 

ASIAN YANG-HALIBUT FISHER Into Asia Research 2007™

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Why Asia Loves Elevators

The Asian value system dictates that individuals must continually strive to progress both personally and filially.

Research by Halibut Fisher found that Asians are 79.3% more likely to choose an elevator over the stairs when [going up floors] because the surge of the elevator gives them the sense of dramatic progression.

It is for the counter reason that most choose the stairs when descending buildings because their feeling of regression is slower and less confronting.

escalatorlifeforce.jpg

HALIBUT FISHER 2007 RESEARCH INTO ASIA™

_________________________________________________________________________

So there you have it, if you want to experience real planning – the sort where you have to literally get out and experience life rather than rely on books, research or your own life experiences – get yourselves over to Asia and start seeing how nothing is quite as it seems, I guarantee you will not regret it, even if sometimes it’ll drive you mad!


40 Comments so far
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First!

Comment by Age

hehe, great post Rob. I’m impressed, those are some of the deepest of deep insights i’ve ever read about. Will be checking out that site for sure. Cheers

Comment by Age

As many know, some people spend too much time on planes writing blogposts.

Comment by John

Oh dear

Comment by Pete

I think that sums it up perfectly Peter.

Comment by Lee Hill

All these comments are doing is providing greater evidence that the West are arrogant and ignorant to the ways of the East.

[PS: Why are people seemingly happy to be the first to post a comment, surely the praise should be given to those who stay well away?]

Comment by Rob

whats worse dodds is its only going to get fucking worse.

now if this haibut fisher could do some research into whether emah will ever like dodds in a way that is bordering on criminal, then they may have a uk subscriber

Comment by andy@cynic

Given the standard of women you’ve managed to con – I mean convince – to marry you, you should subscribe to the policy that ‘anything is possible’. If you’re a millionaire. Haha!

Not sure about your financial position Mr Dodds … and in no way am I suggesting Emah would go out with anyone for money … but I wouldn’t hold out too much hope and if Haibut Fisher suggest otherwise, it demonstrates how flawed research can be 😉

Comment by Rob

is that a broken record i can hear or just a fucking sad bastard with no other come back?

Comment by andy@cynic

🙂

Comment by Rob

Pure planning porn. Nice one.

Comment by Charles Frith

Eloquently put Charles.

Robert, could you give me a call to discuss your “Corporate Education” post, I have the distinct impression you are about to go into battle and I’d like to ensure you have the right weapons for victory.

I could quite possibly be your fairy godmother.

Comment by Lee Hill

Hello Lee …

Thanks for offering to be my Widow Twanky, but all is fine – remember who my family are, ha!

I’ll still call you later though, I need help to get on a flight that’s already full 🙂

Comment by Rob

I have a feeling I will be learning these things for years and years… I struggle to remember them all already!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Are you going to be petty, evil or justice seeking? Have fun.

And this post proves what I’ve always thought, you’re a smart guy who spends too much time in planes and hotels.

Comment by Bazza

If I get my way Bazza, it’ll be all 3 🙂

Comment by Rob

this is amazing reseach rob. no, really – especially the rice one. i’m reading about how ingrained (ah, see what i did there) food is to the chinese culture and mindset. and, well, this just backs it up.

Comment by lauren

oh, and what’s a Widow Twanky?

Comment by lauren

Finally someone who takes this post seriously – thank you dear Lauren.

As for Widow Twanky …

Imagine Charles in a dress with bigtails and a big wand – but not the sort he wishes he had 🙂

Comment by Rob

Thank you Mr.Campbell for so kindly telling people about our blog, though we are spelt Halibut Fisher. I would like to thank all the people on this blog who have found our insights valuable, please do visit our blog as next week it’ll be updated with more findings from the A DISCOVERY YANG MINING™ study done in the second half of 2007. If any of you want to speak to us or want us to undertake a study in Asia, please do contact us on our blog.

Mr.Andy, while we do not promise a study specifically on people mentioned, you may be interested in a study we are doing on sexual habits of Asians, we would be happy to present to you the findings once it ends this quarter.

Finally, thanks again Mr.Campbell for this mention.

Comment by Peter Tan

See, even Andy will like them now…

You only have to have Dim Sum with a close family to see how food is part of their lives. This stuff is highly interesting though!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Are you sure you want to continue down this path Rob M?

Comment by Bazza

I think Rob C’s path is worse…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

seems that you only have to spend 5 minutes on this blog to have andy pegged 🙂

and having cooked risotto tonight, i’d be interested to see what the italian ethos is towards rice (it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s something about richness and fulfillment).

Comment by lauren

Rice in Italy has similar meaning to Asia – togetherness, warmth, fulfillment and family.

Ahem.

But what I’d really like to know is what bananas represent to women? 😉

Comment by Rob

The fact that you and Peter Tan don’t know about what bananas represent to women is itself the insight.

Comment by John

John, do you realise the sponsored keywords when I hover on your link are:

Sod Steve Jobs Make Millions Vagina

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Isn’t that the cynic corporate mantra?

Comment by John

No John, the cynic corporate mantra is …

Sod Steve Jobs Vagina, Make Millions

It’s a subtle difference, but it makes all the difference

Comment by Rob

I hear its the size of an iPod touch…

(sorry Mrs C, we are nice people really)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

We almost got this post back on track and then …

… well the ‘usual’ happened.

Comment by Rob

To be fair I did make two legitimate comments before I noticed John’s odd keyword situation…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

And you did start the Charles/Widow Twanky comparison…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Yes, lets all blame John … I like that.

Comment by Rob

How could you John…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I like the date of this post.

Comment by Marcus

Indeed Marcus

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Marcus? What are you doing here? How is your time with the kiddies? Hope all is toptastic matey.

Comment by Rob

They call me the magic wand!

Comment by Charles Frith

Don’t you mean they call ‘IT’ the magic wand?

Comment by Rob




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