The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Excuse Me, But You Can Polish A Turd!
January 14, 2008, 7:09 am
Filed under: Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!

Just some questions I wouldn’t mind having answered …

What was the inventor thinking when they came up with this crap? [boom tish]

Who would consider buying a product like this?

Will this suddenly cause people to stop flushing the loo because they’ll want to show off their shitty bling to all and sundry?

If any of you out there know of a rich sicko who buys this product, can you please let me know because they may also be interested in having their face pummelled by a fist wearing a solid rose gold ring – and all for a price that’s much more reasonable than the US$425 poo pill!


35 Comments so far
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I am without comment. This post has completely blown my mind.

Comment by Age

… and not in a good way I should add.

Comment by Age

Yes, I thought it would have that effect – it’s been a similar situation for me.

Comment by Rob

Don’t be so negative chaps. Never wanted to leave a shiny log behind for posterity?

Comment by Charles Frith

Oh dear

Comment by Pete

Ha!! that’s awesome! If i was rich and had spent all my money helping out everyone i possibly could, then I wouldn’t mind flushing $500 down the drain, just for the sake of it.
Then I could do whatever I wanted because my shit might stink, but fuck it glitters!

Comment by lauren

You would say that Charles, you’re the proud [?] owner of the most hairless male arse in the East.

Allegedly.

And no, you don’t have to prove it 🙂

Comment by Rob

Wondering if it would make sense if this was invented for pets [ dogs in particular at a much cheaper price! 🙂

Comment by bhaskar

If it stopped kittens ‘waste’ [read: Rosie] from smelling like 10,000 French cheeses, I’d buy the thing without a second thought!

Comment by Robert

Only one way to find out. Go ahead by the poo pill. ha ha 🙂

Comment by bhaskar

Both wife and cat would divorce and disown me if I did that 🙂

Comment by Robert

paris streets would be paved with gold if it was developed for dogs. and you know, i reckon the french would be so into it..

Comment by lauren

The French are into anything smelly – why else would they of given the World the plague?

[Sorry Charlie, John and Charlotte!]

Another use could be to give it to senior advertising executives because they spout so much shit, it could prove to be a very worthwhile financial investment.

Comment by Rob

One day you’re New Scientist, the next you’re the Daily Sport. The only thing consistent with this blog is its inconsistency.

Where do you find stuff like this? I’d assume Andy but isn’t he still on vacation? Billy perhaps?

You’re a delightfully strange fellow Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

Hi Lee …

Well it wasn’t Andy as he is, like you said … still away, nor was it Billy, infact it was that nicey-nice bloke, Bruce. Who’d of thought eh?

And I’d rather be strange than boring … so even if you didn’t mean it as so, I take that as a compliment 🙂

Comment by Rob

You’re busy today aren’t you? You can always tell because you pop a CRAP post like this up on the blog – and then run off and try and finish some super-important document that you should have had finished ages ago.

George will NOT be pleased.

Morning.

Comment by Marcus

You should set up a ‘Fortune Telling’ phoneline because you’re bang on. Or it could be because I’m so fucking slack and predictable.

Comment by Rob

I officially have nothing to say. My word

Comment by np

Slack and predictable. Now can somebody please tell me why NP is NP on this blog and AndrewH on my blog?

He’s scaring the shit out of me.

Comment by Marcus

‘cos “sit up straight when we’re talking to you” would scare anyone into using their proper name..

Comment by lauren

good point Lauren.

Comment by Marcus

Or is it just bad conceptual art from the same guy who brings us sunshine bottled in jars?

http://www.inhabitat.com/2006/11/08/bottled-sunshine-tobias-wongs-sun-jars/

Comment by John

Errrrm, I actually have one of those bottled sunshine things John.

Comment by Rob

Is it me, or is today like REALLY SHIT. Am I the only one having a REALLY SHIT DAY??

Comment by Marcus

Only good use I can see is to feed it to the dog and freak out some park attendants!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Today IS shit Marcus – but I’ve just done 2 things that have made me happy so I hope that by tomorrow, my joy has infiltrated the World and peace will infiltrate each and every one of our souls.

[WHAT AM I GOING ON ABOUT????]

Comment by Rob

Rather than leaves infiltrating out stools?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Our*

Comment by Rob Mortimer

no marcus, my day turned into a REALLY SHIT DAY!! too. although i’m hoping everything will turn out for the best really soon – both for me and for you too.

Comment by lauren

I’m so insanely bored today. I’m so bored I could break things.

Comment by Marcus

I wish I’d found this gold shit Lee, but I’m too busy working on your biz to even piss

Comment by Billy Whizz

I’m sure there’s something in the their corporate responsibility guidelines that prohibits that happening Billy – under the section “supplier’s health”.

Comment by Marcus

Maybe in Germany, but not in Campbell’s evil empire. 🙂

Comment by Billy Whizz

Not Cynic – THE CLIENT.

Comment by Marcus

Absolutely – clients would never want to work with advertising folks who were full of piss – now would they?

Comment by John




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