The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Customers Think Brand Architecture Can Be Fucking Bollocks …
November 12, 2007, 7:00 am
Filed under: Comment

So SONY Ericsson have announced some new phones for 2008.

Yes … yes … I’ve just bought 2 new phones [actually 3] in the last couple of months, but I still don’t feel I’ve found true techno-fulfilment!

So one of the phones they’ve announced is this …

SONY Ericsson W890i

Nice eh? 

Well I like it … especially as it has a REAL keypad, not that bollocks square thing that they have on their K850i.

Ooooh I want it … yes I do … I want to touch it, stroke it, love it … especially as Sony Ericsson have introduced a feature into the phone called ‘SENSE’ which helps bring our overall FEEL strategy alive [even though it’s SONY who are our client, not SONY Ericsson] as it allows music to be played to suit your emotion/mood.

However there is one slight flaw in this top-of-the-range, bang-upto-date, technological marvel … the camera is not autofocus and has no flash.

Now that might not sound much to you, but in reality it’s abit like having a Ferrari with an automatic gearbox.

In short, it’s shit, stupid and bloody annoying.

I can see why you’d take away those fundamental features on a mid-range phone – but on a supposed top of the line model?

What’s the betting some ‘Business Guru’ told them that if they included autofocus and a flash it would compete directly against their Cybershot range of mobiles, so undermine their ‘camera focused’ phone sales?!

Now before you say there is some logic in that opinion – let me point out their top-of-the range Cybershot phone has ALL the music features of the Walkman models … nothing has been taken out … so that argument just doesn’t hold up. 

Not only that, but the Walkman phone only has a 3.2 megapixel camera [whereas the Cybershot has 5 megapixels] so there’s already a pretty major difference between the two already.

Do Sony Ericsson think people who take photos are more valuable [or discerning] than the scum who like music?

Why is OK to offer a fully featured phone under the Cybershot title but an underpowered version for Walkman?

I now either have to choose between a phone that is physically great but lacking in a key feature [as you can tell from my blog, I do use a camera rather alot] or stick with a model that has a decent camera but is the size [and weight] of a brick.

To be honest, I reckon the reason this happens is more to do with the ego of the individuals running the Cybershot and Walkman brands than SONY Ericsson themselves. 

I never fail to be astounded how often different divisions of one company try and fuck eachother over.

I appreciate they all have their own sales targets and goals to achieve, but the amount of energy and time dedicated to doing colleagues harm is nothing short of astounding.

Actually that ‘insight’ was the inspiration behind the Coke Zero work … but I’d better not say any more incase they stop paying our bills, ha!

So to the guys and girls at SONY Ericsson, can I just remind you that you’re really pushing your loyal customers patience to the limit …

This was your big chance to get me back from my horrible NOKIA … but at the last hurdle you went and let the fuck-up fairy come and visit again … which might be good news for my bank manager and Jill, but fucking terrible news for me! 

[PS: I appreciate how much of a wanker this post makes me look. Sadly it’s pretty accurate!]


39 Comments

this is the bit that clinched it for me: “Yes … yes … I’ve just bought 2 new phones [actually 3] in the last couple of months, but I still don’t feel I’ve found true techno-fulfilment!”

Comment by lauren

you sad, sad fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

lol, funny.

this is great timing for me Rob. I’m working on some stuff for a “big auto client in Australia” and we’re constantly tip toeing around the threat of cannibalization between their models.

In the end if the idea is strong we fight for it anyway but it’s constantly a stumbling block for “big auto client in Australia”.

The no flash camera phone is retarded. It makes an important function practically useless in the dark. Although I reckon that it’s probably more of a technical sacrifice they decided upon for it’s compact size. Or they’re just fuck heads disconnected from their customers needs? Meh…

Comment by Age

youre spending too much time in campbells company age, youre even sounding like him now, get away before its too fucking late.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’ll take that as a compliment thanks, Andy!

Comment by Age

My phone (the only phone I have) has still not been disconnected.

Morning.

Comment by Marcus Brown

Some day soon phones will be like cars where you get yours built to spec. Then we dont have to worry about phone companies removing features at will…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I saw a Vertu phone for $73,000 at the weekend.

SEVENTY THREE GRAND for an underspecced Nokia!

Wonder what words would best describe the sort of person who’d buy one of those!

Comment by Rob

A Wanker.

Comment by Marcus Brown

Yep, that about sums it up for me too …

Comment by Robert

A rich wanker.

Comment by John

Gwyneth Paltrow!

[And she really does have one!]

Comment by Rob

You think you’ve got problems. I’ve been forced to choose between a Palm Treo and the tinybuttonedversion of this Sony Ericsson phone. After trying the Treo and realising that you were, in fact, right about how shite it is, I’m now lumped with a black and orange tiny buttoned thing. I miss my blackberry pearl.

Comment by Angus

Do you work for Blackberry by any chance Angus? Hell, it could be worse – you could have PAID for a Nokia N95 which is about as intuitive as Mariah Carey!

[Errrrrm, that’s quite a shit analogy because I have no idea how intuitive the ‘Bling Diva’ is – however I’m tired and rushing out to a meeting so lets assume she’s not very intuitive at all!]

Oh, I also heard you worked for a man I know/knew and didn’t like him much! We seem to have far more in common than you probably would like to accept. Hell, even I’m having second doubts about knowing you!

Ta-ra.

Comment by Rob

Rob, as much confidence I have in your sources, never assume I do/don’t like someone unless you hear it from the horse’s mouth…

But I have no doubt we have similar tastes in some things. Scary.

Comment by Angus

And no, I don’t work for Blackberry, but I fucking love the Pearls. Best phone I’ve ever used.

Comment by Angus

Can we have lots more posts about phones? They’re fascinating.

Comment by John

are you being paid for every fucking mention of blackberry or pearl? is this some new fucking media idea? how much do i get for saying pearl necklace?

Comment by andy@cynic

are you fucking mad dodds, campbell doesnt get sarcasm where technoshit is concerned. expect fuck loads of boring mobile posts now you tit.

Comment by andy@cynic

Not as much as you pay for one Andy!

Comment by John

Does anyone have change for the public telephone?

Comment by Marcus Brown

What are you on, Pearl’s are cheap. They rock. They’re stylish and functional. (Except when they drip down onto your clothes)

I hate Vodafone. They wouldn’t let me have a silver W880i, so I’m stuck with the fucking black and orange one and feel like a rapper. I didn’t have this problem with my Pearl.

(That’s £50 in my pocket…)

Comment by Angus

50p, it’s all I’ll need…

Comment by Marcus Brown

Talking about technology… whatever happened to the inter-advertising Xbox live football tournament Rob?

Get Pro Evo 08 and prepare to be moderately thrashed. (calm down Andy) 😉

Comment by Rob Mortimer

… I just need to make a quick call, that’s all. You know, like talk to someone…

Comment by Marcus Brown

you do realise you are developing into a fucking nerd planner dont you mortimer. xbox? go and give brown 50p before you say anything else that makes me think youre a sad bastard like dodds 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic

… I could write them a letter. But that would take longer…

Comment by Marcus Brown

It would be appreciated though.

Comment by John

Do you think so? Ok, I’ll write a letter. I only need some good advise about which pen I should use… or should I go with a pencil?

Comment by Marcus Brown

Me a nerd?
Just because I know how to work an on off switch eh Andy?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Go with the Mont Blanc cos they have “brand ambassadors” which must be a good thing.

Comment by John

I thought Mont Blanc only did after shave? And having brand ambassadors surely makes them a bit expensive doesn’t it?

After all, I only want to write a letter.

Comment by Marcus Brown

What the hell is going on????

Nice to see the blog is back to normal – maybe it’ll stop me inadvertently pissing people off now, ha!

Comment by Rob

Ok use a pencil – but not a green one – and add the expensive touch by dousing it in aftershave.

Comment by John

You’re in marketing aren’t you Dodds!

Comment by Marcus Brown

Maybe you could start a new trend Marcus … instead of HB pencils, launch HK pencils with the initials standing for the aftershave they’re doused in, HIGH KARATE!

Comment by Rob

You’re not in marketing are you Campbell?

Comment by Marcus Brown

No … not at all. Well, not anymore, ha!

Night …

Comment by Rob

introducing the worlds saddest fucker, mr robert campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic




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