The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Makes My Blog [Almost] Seem Interesting …
September 20, 2007, 7:11 am
Filed under: Comment

So I was reading some crappy UK magazine and came across a column by Wayne Rooney’s other half, Coleen.

Now I appreciate she’s just riding the wave of celebrity [even if it is by ‘association’ rather than her own achievements] but the thought some mag is paying her god-knows-how-much for pointless articles likes this makes me sick, not to mention unbelievably jealous.

Anyway, because I quite fancy getting paid a load of dosh for some pointless wank [which I appreciate many of you think I already do – and to them I say you should be just grateful I don’t make my blog pay-per-view] I hereby put the following article up for ‘auction’ and my ‘celebrity association’ is my Mum – who was part of the original Star Wars team and also came up with the Little Miss Woman idea for Roger Hargreaves.

Oh and because all tabloid ‘journalists’ seem to have a photo taken by some vaseline smeared camera lense in an attempt to look all mysterious and enchanting, I hereby have this for attachment.


Right, that’s sorted … now I just need to sit back and wait for the offers!  Ahem.

In all seriousness, this Coleen woman has really pissed me off.

I know most people in the UK have had to endure her for quite a few years, but because I’m out in Asia, her ‘attitude and manner’ is all quite new to me and while her ‘Italian Food Outing’ article made me snort with derision, the way she dealt with the tragic shooting of young Everton fan, Rhys Jones, made me angrier than hell.

Have a look at this article she wrote …

Next to this article was a bloody photo of the actual wreath at the funeral!!!

How on earth can she say they made a ‘private gesture’ then print all of it in some fucking cheap and tacky weekly magazine?

Now I’m sure she didn’t mean it to come out that way, but it smacks of exploitation and at the very least demonstrates an alarming lack of taste and judgement – a bit like those fools at M&C India who did those dodgy ‘fake ads’.

So all this leads to a question … despite having more access to information than at any other point in history, do you think the average person is less Worldly and knowledgeable or more?

Come on, what do you think?

Is technology empowering the average person or is it ultimately hindering us because rather than ‘learning’, we’re actually becoming a society of ‘finders’ … where the biggest effort most of us make in seeking knowledge is typing our question into Google.

32 Comments so far
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this is what i was saying in my earlier post, i need marcus to help me stop this blog going up its own fucking arse.
what the fuck is this all about?
of course technology is screwing us over, its letting campbell write fucking bollocks like this.
i dont know if these sorts of posts are wankier than the planning shite you write but i think you need another fucking holiday.
on the plus side, you slagged off that coleen bitch, wrote about shitting and used your adidas pic so its not all bad in fact when i think about it, this could be the best post youve ever written.
well done keep it up you mad fucking freak.

Comment by andy@cynic

Rob your shit thing made me piss myself laughing out loud at my desk. I too am amazed at people who claim to only use one sheet of toilet paper when wiping their ass. In fact, thinking more about it, I think they are full of shit (errr… well not literally, obviously!). How a single piece of paper can withstand a bit of a crack attack defies physics, especially for both of us considering our Italian heritages! After the classic “wog bog”, I too fear the brown finger.

On your point about Google, I think you’re right and it’s sad. I am a massive culprit of looking for answers the easy way. It’s funny because i’ve been realising this more or late, especially in regards to Firefox having auto spell checking – meaning I’ve become too lazy to type and spell properly. I’ve been making a conscious effort to LEARN instead of just LOOK FOR. So great point there, mate.

On a side note, Andy your comment is the most skitzo I’ve ever seen you, but I like it because it means we get two doses of hilarity.

Comment by Age

There’s lots of research about the toilet paper habits around the World and it’s no suprise the Americans use the most sheets of loo paper per wipe but I feel strange writing this so I’ll stop now if you don’t mind. Nice photo by the way, I saw it when I popped in your office last week but I should warn you there were darts in it as and I’m being serious.
Finally technology is most definitely making the masses lazier but more informed as well. Pity so much on the web is rather rubbish 🙂

Comment by Pete

You seem quite scathing about the content of a magazine you presumably paid money for the pleasure of reading. Especially considering you must have known what you were getting.

It might be vacuous and annoying, but we all keep feeding the beast.

Comment by Paulw

Hahaha, you’re so right Paul but in my defence …

1. Look at the name of this blog, what do you expect from me?

2. My wife bought the mag, not me – though I do accept I love shite stuff like that and read all of them that I can get my hands on, ha!

3. I’m not slagging off the mag – just Coleen’s ‘column’ which was quite possibly the most uninformative thing I’ve ever read. Jill didn’t buy the mag because of Coleen – nor did the mag ask its readers if it wanted Coleen as a contributor, so I think I can make my point without too much hypocracy on my end.

4. Not sure if you are new to this blog [and hello if you are and I hope you come back but I suspect you are the Paul at BH but maybe I’m wrong] but there’s plenty of other posts I’ve written that show me for the double-standard tosser I [can sometimes] be, ha!

Comment by Rob

Just seen it IS Paul from BH – hello matey, how the hell are you? I’m in your town soon so we should catch up for drinkies … it’s been far too long. Hope all is well …

Comment by Robert

Yes mate it’s me- finally decided to stop lurking and get in the game.

All’s great here and an orange juice would be lovely whenever you’re around- give me a shout. It has been too long.

And I wasn’t trying to have a dig about double standards, rather I was trying to say that even people on the right side of being educated can’t escape getting caught on the wrong side of what counts as culture these days.

Comment by Paulw

Oi, you, yes you laddie! Bugger me, backwards, what a load of tosh! I’ll have you know that I have been writing the readers letters for The Sport, Big Jugs and Tabacco weekly for the last seventeen years – so I know:

a) what the fuck I’m talking about
b) what the general public (our readers) think!


Coleen is a champion. She is the Jeanne d’Arc of the printed generation.

Comment by Tired Old Hack

That sounds tops Paul and you’re so right because my Dad – who was quite a clever chap – used to say he had lunch meetings when in reality he just wanted to watch Neighbours. He’d deny it – but he knows it’s true and he’ll probably haunt me now for letting his secret out to the masses, ha!

Comment by Rob

And it’s great you’re no longer lurking in the background, Paul! Add some decency to the throng, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

Dear Tired Old Hack … do you also own The Sun, Foxtel and Twentieth Century Fox studios?

Comment by Rob

No, but I own a Wolseley 2200, half a bottle of Teachers and the complete Big Jugs collection – including Issue #1 (excellent reader’s wife section). And I have a season ticket for Macclesfield Town.

Comment by Tired Old Hack

I bet you also edit the Sun’s “News in Briefs” section…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Sorry young Mortimer, but I’m not responsible for that rag’s laundry editorial.

Comment by Tired Old Hack

I really can’t bring myself to go on about Coleen- I’m angry enough at the moment. There’s something very wrong with an unemployed scouser with credit cards being able to influence so many people.
And as for the net, I find it worrying that people will be be able to edit out all the other voices that might tell them something they don’t like. They’ll never know how wrong they might be, since they’ll be editing out all the other points of view. Worrying.
And easy anwers mean you miss out on the suprises you’ll get along the way.

Comment by NP

Surely editing ‘NEWS IN BRIEF’ is a job for someone with dictatorial tendencies?

And as for you Mr NP – I think you know I share my view and tomorrow’s post will demonstrate it, albeit in the shittest way possible, hahahaha!

Comment by Rob

The public get what the public want.

Comment by John

You realise you are basically saying you actually LIKE this blog then John.


BTW, I love your SONY idea and I’ve already put in a call. So fucking simple yet it could make a major corporate and environmental impact.

Comment by Rob

The public wants what the public gets

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Mortimer demonstrating there why he could never write a hit song and implicitly explaining his obessesion with morrisey!

Comment by John

Why is everyone on this blog [bar Mr M] such bloody bad spellers? Am I a magnet for the dyslexicsfgtf?

Comment by Rob


Comment by Marcus

I am a great speller but a crap typist – I thought planners were meant to look beyond the surface rather than jump to the obvious conclusion ;O)

And if you want me to start pointing out your typos, then just say the word.

Comment by John

Don’t worry John … my Mum does that for me!

Comment by Robert

Mrs Campell -I’m very sorry that your son keeps you so busy, the state of education is a disgrace isn’t it?

Comment by John

Never write a hit song?
Obsession with Morrissey?
I think you have me confused…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

So now you’re claiming my Mum didn’t give me a good education. You really should work in the diplomatic department John! 🙂

Comment by Robert

I think I have myself confused!

Comment by John

For once I actually agree wholeheartedly with you!

Comment by Robert

I didn’t go to public school, I don’t own a teddy bear and I’m not terrified of girls (well not really) so a future in the diplomatic service was never to be.

Comment by John

Given Andy almost looks cool, he’s more likely to thank you than kill you. I’ll try and get a photo that achieves your desired response, I’ll probably only have to wait till he walks in the office. 🙂
May I suggest you do some work Robert, you feel like you’re pontificating again.
Call you later.

Comment by George

Damn … that wasn’t the desired response at all George. I’m upset now! 🙁

Comment by Rob

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