The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


For Billy [Who Just Announced It’s Been 2 Years Since He Last Had A Proper Date]
August 8, 2007, 10:46 pm
Filed under: Comment

Here you go mate … a biology film that details the physical differences between a man and a women. Hope it helps.

[NB: Beware of very fat men because they can often give the impression they have what only women are supposed to have] 

Billy … this is the censored version because I’m sure there’s some US Employment law that would get me arrested if I showed you naked breasts.

However, if you really must look at the un-black-dotted-nipple version, you can see it here but I take no responsibility for any damage to your eyes! Or wrist, ha!


90 Comments so far
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i love our company.

Comment by andy@cynic

As I had Andy compare me to George Hamilton yesterday, can I say I wholeheartedly support this blatant humiliation of Billy.

Comment by Pete

Dearest Robert. You can do all you want to try and show you are “one of the boys”, but the women on this blog all know you’re really the gayest straight guy we have ever known. (in your abilit to understand and express emotions, certainly not in your dress sense 🙂 )
Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

I don’t want people thinking it’s been 2 years since I last saw a pair of breasts. It’s just 2 years since I had a steady chick. That makes me Mr Rock N Roll, not some fucking loser.

Comment by Billy Whizz

that is fucking genius jemma.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m too ugly to be gay!

[That’s not saying much for Jill there is it, ha!]

Comment by Rob

You know what happened to the Fonz Billy. His show got cancelled. Nobody wants to see a 40 year old guy hitting on chicks…

Better live out those rock n roll dreams whilst you can!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I think Billy protesth too much
Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

Fuck you all, especially you Jemma. And Rob Mortimer. I’m only 28, I’ve got 12 years before I offically become sleaze. I can’t wait.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Sorry, a song for Rob C:

The Bloodhound Gang – I wish I was queer (so I could get chicks)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I would kill for having a boss like you. Or I would kill the boss if he were you.

Comment by Seb

2 years Billy? I wondered why one arm was always bigger then the other.

Comment by Bazza

nice comeback campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe it’s because women see you like a brother Billy?

Comment by Jemma King

I think this has just broken about 50 US employment legislation laws but as Billy is a 2 year loser, maybe the courts would see our side of things. Is this the sort of person we want in the company?

Comment by Ian Hart

Wasnt saying you were past it, just to be careful you dont miss it when it comes!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Billy, there is a difference between seeing breasts on a screen on Pay TV (or in real-life paid content) and actually seeing them.

Comment by Seb

We’re all going to hell.

Comment by Terri Stevens

(or doesnt in your case 😉 )

Comment by Rob Mortimer

FUCK. YOU. ALL.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Poor Billy.

Comment by Katerina

Anger is the first step to being attractive to girls, Billy.

Comment by Seb

I don’t think Billy is the sort of person I want working on our account 😉

Comment by Jonathan Frazer

Billy, that’s a great plan. Girls that feel pity for you are easier to get. Good one.

Comment by Seb

billy stop your fucking whinging, its the most popular youve ever been.

Comment by andy@cynic

See. Not only are you guys/gals great, but you even get your clients to say witty put downs.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

NOW EVEN FUCKING CLIENTS ARE HAVING A GO AT ME!I’M SULKING.

Comment by Billy Whizz

jonno. that moment of magic almost deserves a fee discount. i did say almost.

Comment by andy@cynic

2 years??

Comment by Bazza

In Germany we have a condom brand called “Billy Boy”…how ironic.

Comment by Seb

Don’t be like that Billy, we all love you, just not like that. 🙂 Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

Oh dear what have I done?

[As if I didn’t know, ha!]

Comment by Rob

that is ironic seb as billy wouldnt need a condom, hes practicing the safest sex of them all

Comment by andy@cynic

😀 Makes me happy. Random American Country music ‘n all..

Comment by Will

Oh Rob, when was the last time you got nearly 2 comments per minute?

Comment by Seb

2 years?

Comment by Bazza

I hope you read the news article I posted, his luck is turning!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

And Andy, I guess it’s even more ironic that they have a special version called “Big Billy”…

Comment by Seb

Without wishing to sound like Dad, we have a rather important meeting in 20 minutes so can we all focus on that now please?

Billy, I am ashamed, sort yourself out or my wife will go on another of her matchmaking sprees and none of us want that do we.

Comment by George

Rob M., thanks to the article we know why Rob is writing all that emotional stuff at the moment…bloody genius.

Comment by Seb

big billy? what about let down billy, do they have one of those in krautland?

Comment by andy@cynic

“Big Billy”? God, Germany is a strange place. 😉

Seb, is it a place where men who haven’t had a date for 2 years are accepted into society?

Comment by Will

nope. but I bet they have “invisible billy”.

Comment by Seb

This post went from 0 comments to god-knows-how-many in a time that even a Ferrari couldn’t do.

I actually used that article you posted Mr M today as part of the planning for the campaign I am [fingers crossed] hoping to get AJ to agree to. It doesn’t help Billy though … he’s not pretty enough or rugged enough … he’s Mr Average with tatts, hahahaha!

Comment by Rob

I can hear Rob and Billy now “Curse you Sinitta, you made us think all women wanted were macho men!”

Comment by Rob Mortimer

scrooge, i mean george, has spoken so enough of all this tom foolery, time to do some work then well try to tackle the biggest challenge in adland, getting billy laid.

Comment by andy@cynic

I actually feel sorry for Billy now, shame…he wont get any pity sex though

😉

Comment by Rob Mortimer

2 years!

Comment by Bazza

Well Will, no there are none. Those who get close to two years of being without a date are flown to New York to work in advertising. The rest retires in Thailand or orders a bride from Russia. Sad we are, aren’t we?

Comment by Seb

average with tats? even i wouldnt stoop that fucking low campbell

Comment by andy@cynical-world.com

Payrise?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Yeah, sure you wouldn’t Andy …

Comment by Rob

No payrise Billy … but what if I get Andy to buy you a sausage sandwich and a magazine? Ha!

Comment by Rob

Ahem.

Comment by George

Hahaha.
The NY sausage industry must be in boom time…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I hope the client (the one with the important meeting in 14 mins) is not reading what you are doing instead of rocketship their sales. Though he would laugh. And probably would never let Billy handle his account…

Comment by Seb

you cheeky fuck campbell but another good comeback. whats going on with you?

Comment by andy@cynic

good point seb. fucking good point. billy you are safe now but well deal with you later.

Comment by andy@cynic

Rob + Andy = Power rangers style MegaAdZord.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I can’t remember if I told you, but FUCK YOU ALL.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Rob, when was the last time you had over 60 comments in 50 minutes? Unfortunately it’s a proof for the “sex sells”-theory.

Comment by Seb

At least that explains why we got you porn films and a portable DVD player when you were in hospital, ha! Sorry Billy …

Comment by Rob

Just remember guys, don’t quote the song in your meeting and you’ll probably get away with it.

Comment by John Dodds

You’re right Seb … as I said, faster than a Ferrari

Comment by Rob

At least people aren’t laughing at me for eating wax fucking apples.

Comment by Billy Whizz

By the way: Ever thought about using Billy for Lynx? I already can see the line “If it gets him chicks, what could it do to you?”.

Comment by Seb

2 years!!

Comment by Bazza

Touche!

Comment by Rob

OK Baz, enough of the 2 years, even I am getting sick of it – so you can expect a bashing when you’re back from your conference of egomaniacs, ha

Comment by Rob

How many comments do we need to break this blog’s record, Campbell?

Comment by Seb

Just checking everyone knows playtime is over.

Comment by George

Oooooooh a lot more than this – I think the top post has about 212 comments and now everyone has to go to work and I have to go to bed, ha!

Comment by Rob

You can tell you’re a Dad of 3 George, ha!

Comment by Rob

Reminds me of the substitute teacher in our Tech lesson when we were about 16, who said angrily “If you dont stop messing about youll have no playtime!”

Comment by Rob Mortimer

730 days!

Comment by Bazza

Yeah yeah … smartarse Baz.

Right, it’s 2am – night all.

Comment by Rob

Night, daddy.

Comment by Seb

No Seb, can’t you remember … George is Daddy, I’m Mr Gay-But-Straight! 🙁

Comment by Rob

You mean Mr Sorry-Jill-I-just-discovered-my-gay-side-in-front-of-a-million-audience.

Comment by Seb

Nah … that’s why she likes me Seb becauserather than JUST take the piss out of her Jillyisms [www.jillyism.wordpress.com] I can empathise with her as well. Ahem. Right, I really must sleep now.

Comment by Rob

Have I ever mentioned how much I love this blog? If it would be a woman I definitley would go for her. This sounds deperate, doesn’t it?

Comment by Seb

Almost as desperate as you-know-who …

Comment by Rob

Wasn’t you the “oh I need to go to bed now”-man 45 minutes ago? Oh, this sounds very you-know-who…

Comment by Seb

WHAT THE FUCK?

Comment by marcusbrown

ditto!

Comment by lauren

This is what happens when we don’t have your ‘calming’ influence in our lives.

Comment by Rob

Today this post and comments feel like waking up after a night filled with strong drinks next to a person who seems to be unbelievable ugly. And probably male. Huaa.

Comment by Seb

Speaking from experience Seb?

Comment by Rob

No, actually it was the beginning of another slap for Billy, but then my conscience told me not to. Maybe it’s the influence of “emotional” Rob. By the way…the post was it for Mr Caesar?

Comment by Seb




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