The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Please Can You Join Me …
August 2, 2007, 6:30 pm
Filed under: Comment

Angelina Jolie (149)

… in praying she says YES to our offer!

And yes, that includes you Jill … so stop bitching under your breath, put your hands together AND PRAY!

[If you love me like you say you love me, you’d want me to be happy wouldn’t you?]

24 Comments so far
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I am on my knees praying which is exactly where I’ll be if you let me go on the shoot to meet her. For the love of god Angelina, please say yes.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Our father, thou art not bad a being God and stuff,
Hallowed be your name
I will come, if you get AJ to say yes,
And I might go to church every now-and-then
Fuck I might even believe in you – and forget about the dinosaurs,
And dismiss the missing link ape as a post Victorian prank,
And say that the Spanish Inquisition was justified because witches are evil fucks
And denounce the dark side
For thou art in Heaven, and you have a cool beard
And your son wasn’t gay, and even if he was
That would have been ok
So get AJ to say yes and I’ll eat body and blood and be a good Christian, Muslim or whatever.


Comment by Marcus

p.s. The DaVinci code is all lies.

Comment by Marcus

Dearest Jill … please close your eyes to this.
Dearest Mum … stop here before it’s too late.

Dearest AJ … I would crawl over broken glass just to masturbate in your shadow … I am begging you, please say yes.

If that heartfelt plea doesn’t work, how about this …

Come on love, there’s a couple of mill in it for you [US, not some shitty Aussie $] for just one days work … you can’t sneeze at that can you???

Comment by Rob

Dear god. Please give us the chance to see the humiliating spectacle of these guys drooling over AJ…

Besides which, its probably a very good ad.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Couldn’t you just settle for the aforementioned six strippers and save the millions?

Comment by John Dodds

It’s not our money John … so I’m afraid I’d spend my life in regret if I didn’t push for the Queen rather than 6 jesters.

[That’s not very nice to the lovely ladies who were bloody insightful and it’s probably not making this ‘job’ very alluring to Ange – given she’s bouuuuuuuuund to read this blog, hahaha!]

Comment by Rob

I have to say this … but HOW GOOD IS THAT PHOTO OF HER?

She’s far too thin now … needs a few good meals … the sort I will be blogging about tomorrow infact.

Right, time for beddybyes … night all [especially you Angelina!]

Comment by Rob

Celebrity endorsement though? That reeks of that about which you ranted earlier.

Comment by John Dodds

Dear Rob,
though given that you probably won’t fit into the area of my shadow (no, I don’t have any eating disorder) and that it probably needs either a lot of despair or an abnorm sexual orientation to masturbate while crawling over broken glass, I have to say that your offer is realy interesting. Unfortunatley I will be shooting demand ideas with McCann for Nurofen.


Comment by Angelina Jolie

Sadly, we know that AJ is far cooler than that.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Do you really think Angelina is cool, Rob?

Comment by Seb

Not ultimately cool. But cooler than the average yes. I also think she would understand a decent ad better than most actors.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I’ll offer a helping hand for less than a million.

Comment by Jade Goody

rob, i swear, if you use angelina as a sex kitten to promote anything except starving kids in africa, i will be fucking livid. i mean really fucking livid. like worse than marcus without hatemail. true, i have no idea what you’ve got planned, but if the way you and billy are begging her is any indication of the kind of symbol she’ll be used for, then fuck that. please promise me that i’ve got it all wrong.

Comment by lauren

Shweet Jesus. I’ll do anything for the AJ love.

Comment by Charles Frith

Sorry Lauren, but this is AJ we’re talking about here… nothing else matters when it’s AJ, NOTHING!!

Rob, I think you’ll need a Grip for your ad shoot. And by Grip I literally mean someone who does a lot of gripping 🙂

Comment by Age

Lauren … I have good news and bad news for you.

GOOD: We WON’T be using AJ in a classic sex kitten mode – infact [if she say’s yes, so keep praying people] it will be as the empowered woman that she really is. [It’s not going to be dumbed down female bollocks, I promise you]

BAD: It’s not for starving children. It’s for beer.

CONSIDER: Most men are starving for her, so it sort of might make it less painful for you to consider her being used. Or not.
Get livid … as Age say’s, it’s AJ – nothing else matters which is why Jennifer Anniston gets on my tits. Sure her marriage went tits up, but she lost out to the most amazing female in the solar system so if I were her, I’d be honoured.

John, if AJ say’s no … get some collagen and a haircut and lets talk.

Comment by Robert

sounds brilliant.

Comment by lauren

Sarcasm in full swing?

Comment by Rob

Sorry to do this to you Robert, but I am praying she says no because I’d hate to have to hate you because you got to speak to her, even if all you said was “Bless you” after she sneezed.
I must admit I’m surprised you haven’t dragged out your Billy Bob Thornton story given you used to use that as “evidence” as to why you and Angelina belonged together. It’s either a sign of maturity, Jill or impending alzheimers.

Comment by Pete

Praying. Very, very hard.

Comment by NP

Im praying for a good celeb ad, so by coincidence that includes this request…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I don’t care if the ad is a pile of poo – I just want to do stuff in her shadow. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

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