The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

If This Is What Being Sophisticated And Wealthy Means …
July 25, 2007, 7:30 am
Filed under: Crap Campaigns In History

… then please kill me, kill me now  – but only after you’ve slowly tortured the brainless fuckwits who both wrote and approved this steaming pile of turd.

[Sorry about the quality, I had to tape it off the television!]

When will marketers understand this sort of contrived, mindless pap doesn’t make their brand ‘aspirational’ … it makes them look like total try-hard-never-will-be’s.

As I wrote a while back, the brands that the truly rich and famous have/want, aren’t the sort that are freely available to the masses – infact their goal is to keep scruffy oiks like me, well away from them!

Fuck you Martell Cognac … fuck everyone in your company, agency and family … I wouldn’t drink your shit even if I had a broken bottle being pushed up against my jugular.

15 Comments so far
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whoa… I think this is the angriest I’ve ever seen you!

That ad deserves it though.

Comment by Age

Get in there, Rob! This – along with all the other “now we’re sophisticated grownups” nonsense – is pants… But I’d say at least it’s straight-up pants. What I find EVEN WORSE is the worrying trend towards portraying “artists” who drink “fine” cognacs, now that they’ve found themselves. It’s not the conceit, it’s the heavy-handed mawkish expression of the “idea”. This is the kind of utter pap you get when lazy research agencies identify a “growing demand for self-expression in adult asian males” and hand that “discovery” to agencies full of self-loathing lowest-common-demoniators, to produce these Martell, Hennessey and the like ads. You can spot them a mile off from the opening shot – and a mile off is about as close as I’ll ever go to these brands while they continue to churn out this patronising dross. RAAAAAARRRRRR!

Comment by Gredge

And it’s not tiredness that has made me this angry – it’s this bloody ad!!!

[Funny thing is I’m seeing the Worldwide Number 2 of the agency who did it tomorrow – now do I bring this up? Too fucking right I do, hahaha]

Comment by Rob

‘Only a few can tell’ – ahh, so the target market is actually 3 people? I’m sure the countless millions who can’t tell won’t drink the stuff anyway.


Comment by Will

Wow. Thats truly awful.
Like the very worst of the 70s “we are posh so we drink better than you” ads.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I wonder what Cointreau would do?

Comment by NP

Only the French [and Rob Mortimer] can tell?

Comment by Rob

Cointreau is stylish without pretention. Or at least thats how I see it.

Comment by Morb Rotimer

(What Morb said)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Rob’s becoming an alter ego. Excellent.

Comment by NP

Yes Northern Planner!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

these kinds of ads are so mind-numbingly lazy, it’s hilarious. ‘drinking cognac will make you stylish’.. ha! even the french would think that was fucking ridiculous.

Comment by lauren

Watch out World … Lauren is most definitely BACK!

Comment by Rob

“I wouldn’t drink your shit even if I had a broken bottle being pushed up against my jugular.” Its lines like this that keep me coming back for more.

Comment by Charles Frith

I’m a modern day Oscar Wilde … without the gay bits, ha!

Comment by Rob

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