The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


McKinsey Mother Ltd?
May 22, 2007, 7:14 am
Filed under: Comment

 Given more and more Management Consultancies are trying to break into the ‘ad-creation’ market, what do you think would happen if McKinsey bought Mother?

 

My ‘Mother’ – better than the London mob!


83 Comments

Most of Mother’s staff would leave…?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Pinstripe t-shirts?

Comment by NP

Is there something you know that we don’t Rob?

What a great question and my view is that if they could stop the cultural differences ripping the concept apart, it would make quite a powerful [not to mention frightening] proposition for industry.

It will never happen as the differences are too great but it is certainly an interesting concept.

Given we’re far more flexible in our values when copious amounts of money are involved, shall we approach them? (I am joking so calm the hell down and stop frothing at the mouth please)

Comment by George

They’d stop swearing?

Comment by Marcus

And make us wear suits.

And say things like ‘Synergize’ and ‘Lets Take This Off-Line’ …

Comment by Rob

But Mother hate planners!

“id like to touch base with you on the synergisation of these customer propositions” *whack*

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I think the real deal breaker would be that Andy could no longer watch porn.

Comment by George

Somehow, George, I don’t think porn would be such an issue.

Comment by Marcus

It would be replaced with management porn… ‘and this deal reduced the workforce by 20%, bringing an extra £200k in dividends…’

Comment by Rob Mortimer

There’s be a lot of hand-shaking and back-patting going on. It always happens after one of those deals…

Comment by lauren

What would happen? Esperanto would quite possibly become useful for the first time ever.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Monkey would have to wear a suit…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Seriously though. George is right, but whose to say a less talented/creative agency wouldnt manage to make it work? *shudder*

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Mrs C. looks like a lovely lady. And after brainwashing most of the clients a take over of agencies would mean that comsultancies would rule the (ad) world. I am off to prepare for that case. I am off to buy a suit or two.

Comment by Seb

Lets hope it’s not McKinsey W&K eh Seb???

Comment by Rob

Go on Seb…tell everybody!

Comment by Marcus

And being nice about my Mum is a MASSIVE PLUS in ensuring a positive A[P]SOTW grading.

Well done … you can teach Andy a thing or two about being nice to people who matter, ha!

Comment by Rob

I cant imagine a more hostile takeover than McKinsey W+K!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

McKinsey Cynic

Comment by Rob

But that wouldnt happen…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Why not?

Comment by Marcus

Well, I cant imagine the Cynic lot letting anyone like that get a control of their business.

Still, if it did… would be bloody mental

Comment by Rob Mortimer

cynic would never do it because apart from the reasons George mentions about it not working for Mother, our primary [and only] external shareholder would hate it.

Saying that, I do have to admit that the concept is an interesting and potentially exciting one – and I do see it as being an amazing machine if you could pull it off – I just don’t think it could happen as culturally and idealistically, the approach comes from such radically different directions.

Never say never though eh …

Comment by Rob

It’s interesting that you ad-people only think about them BUYING you. What about the other way round?

Comment by Marcus

Will tell when there is definitely something to tell. And Rob, remembering all the nice stuff you told me about Andy, I don’t think that he doesn’t love your mum.

Comment by Seb

Yeah! Marcus! That’s it. cynic will take over every consultancy on that exists and Rob’s job title will be “Sovereign of every bloody consultancy on this planet”. Or something like that.

Comment by Seb

I have another question for you all.
I would like to know: Is THIS blog killing planning?
Thank you.

Comment by Marcus

Interesting idea Marcus…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

haha!
No.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

It’s certainly busting my balls …

Comment by Robert

I though Jill had already sorted your balls out.

Comment by Marcus

Sarcymarcus today!!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I think we should place some 🙂 and 😉 and :mrgreen: here just in case the lovely Mrs C. is reading your rumbling with balls. 😳

Comment by Seb

I have my reasons Mr. M. And believe me, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

Comment by Marcus

Good point Seb …

MUM … my balls are fine, you can still be a Grandmother one day!

Comment by Rob

I might…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Who wants to know why I am so pissed off today?

Comment by Marcus

See, no one.

Comment by Marcus

Me Marcus & Happy B’day for Sunday!

Comment by Jade

I do!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Why are you so pissed?
See, I am interested.

Comment by Seb

By the way what I really love about this blog is that every post starts with mostly interesting ad business-related topics (or the bloody Forresters losing) and after at least 15 or 20 posts we end up talking about balls, life, Andy and start to swear around. Realy love that. Great.
By the way, lovely A(P)SotW’ers, join in the ranting. It won’t pull down your marks (as long as you’re nice to Andy), ha.

Comment by Seb

Who’s to say it wouldn’t be an improvement, eh?

And yes Seb – it’s why I comment.. so I can see if Rob M picks up my Simpsons quotes.

Comment by Will

Is Marcus pissed because he dropped his iPOD and his CHRIS DE BURGH GREATEST HITS ALBUM corrupted?

Comment by Rob

No no.. he’s lost all his Jean Michel Jarre..

Comment by Will

And Rob.. I have a third round *ahem* with you know who on Thursday. Here’s hoping..

Comment by Will

Could you stop being so nasty Rob?
Unless you’re up for a slap.
Nothing would give me greater pleasure
Than to spank your face.

Comment by Marcus

Good luck Will … keep me ‘informed’ and let me know if you have any luck with the very wonderful Jason at West Bromwich …

And Marcus, you still have to have a smiley [for my Mum] if you are going to subliminally swear on my blog. And that swear word is still TABOO!

Naughty Marcus …

Comment by Rob

Don’t muck Marcus about that serious topic. Together with his IT guy he’s desperately trying to save his ROGER WHITTAKER ANTHOLOGY. So, gentlemen, show some respect.
And Will: Third round? Sounds pretty serious. Good luck.

Comment by Seb

I have NO idea what you’re talking about Campbell. None what so ever.

Comment by Marcus

The West Brom deal is still on Rob – just waiting for the time I can hold my shirt up and profess my love for the club (which could be Friday, provided there’s no last minute agent hitches).

And Seb – yes, it sort of is. I would be very happy if the *ahem* came off. Not overplaying my hand yet though – not until I’ve signed on the line.

Comment by Will

SEB! YOU LITTLE BEAUTY!!!

http://thisisgettingscary.wordpress.com/about/#comment-139

Nicely done mate. Now wow ’em with the book.

Comment by Will

IT guy? Seb, that’s WHY I’m so pissed today. Ladies and Gentlemen I am pissed because I had to show a member of our staff how to RESTART a computer.

How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this?

Comment by Marcus

Don’t try that bollocks [ 🙂 ] with me Mr Brown. I studied law and I have enough circumstantial evidence to prove you know EXACTLY what I am talking about, ha!

Will … good bloody luck and remember what I said, ha!

I am quite impressed that no one ‘bit’ on the gullible thing I mentioned earlier … you’d be surprised how many have, ha! [But not Jill – though I did ask her in daylight hours when she is her normal smart self]

And Seb … what can I say, I am bloody chuffed as hell for you mate. Now go do your best …

Comment by Rob

Bloody hell :-p Marcus. I suddenly understand entirely…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Whoa Rob… I set you up for the punchline!
you missed it!!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Ah, so THAT’S your degree..

I’m an ex-English student, for what it’s worth. It’s all about Milton bay-bee.

After doing, no amount of boring status meetings could hold me back – I’ve debated Lacan, for pity’s sake.

Rob – I’m bearing your advice in mind. Every planning director I’ve met has liked me thus far, so I’m taking it as a good sign… we shall see..

And yes Seb.. you go for it. And when you are over here, tweet and we’ll meet for a shandy or two..

Comment by Will

I AM INNOCENT! INNOCENT CAMPBELL!

It’s a set up gov’.

Comment by Marcus

BOLLOCKS!

ANd comedy is all about the …

Comment by Rob

Oh, Will, thanks. Wanted to tell everbody here when a date is fixed.
What did you do Marcus? Unplug the power supply? And why the hell did they ask you? Don’t you have an IT guy? Or is he talking crap like “change the boot sector in menu 404 and the press the restart button-combination”? Ha. I feel for you.

Comment by Seb

… … …

Comment by Rob

… timing.

Comment by Rob

CAN WE ALL FORGET WHAT WILL SAID ABOUT SEB PLEASE.
[Seb, it will be new news when decide to tell us]

Comment by Rob

Ah Seb – if you were waiting for a date, and I’ve ‘scooped’ you, I apologise.

Write a post, and I’ll have saved up some more good wishes, don’t you worry – really hoping you get the gig.

Comment by Will

Hey, I ignore myself at times.

Consider it forgotten about.

Comment by Will

Guru Meditation

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Will … if this advertising lark doesn’t work out, I hear the News Of The World are interested!

Comment by Rob

Will.. the Max Clifford of advertising

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Or the Sport.

Comment by Marcus

It’s all about the Daily Sport. Or Editor of 3am. Hah.

Thanks guys – I’m touched… 😉

Comment by Will

I would just like to make a brief statement.

The charges of subliminal swearing made against me are purely circumstantial and without any foundation. This is obviously a slanderous campaign against my good name, a campaign led by a notorious man of vulgar words.

I feel violated and deeply offended by these charges. I am innocent. Innocent, I say!

Comment by Marcus

you’re all mad. love it.
BTW hi mrs c! we haven’t heard from you in a while – feel free to pop in and say hello

Comment by lauren

You were THINKING about swearing though Marcus.

Yes, Rob, Rob M and myself are the thought police on this blog. Sorry about that. 🙂

Comment by Will

Given I know my Mum is online [thank you SKYPE] I am just hoping she DOESN’T pop in today, ha!

Comment by Rob

William, you presumptuousness is sometimes breathtaking.

Comment by Marcus

…as is my spelling

Comment by Marcus

Sometimes it is Mr B. Sometimes it is.

It’s why the tactical smiley was used.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Being presumptuous – only regards Stoke City’s fortunes next season…

Comment by Will

Ah Stoke City, the only club who’s supporters, win or lose, trash their own stadium…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

whose*

Thats twice ive had terrible grammar today…gah

Comment by Rob Mortimer

3rd in the hooligan leagues Mr M.

Bit of practice.. I can see number 1 beckoning. Just got to get ahead of Millwall and Cardiff.

Comment by Will

Its within reach!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Practice makes perfect. You’ve never seen me on matchday. 🙂 Heh.

Side note – I’ve met Nick Hancock at a Stoke game. He’s absolutely mental.

Comment by Will




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