The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


You’ve Made Me Infamous …
May 21, 2007, 8:47 am
Filed under: Comment

Infamous Studio

So today I got an invitation to speak at the MTV Youth Forum and amongst all the usual requests like Bio / Photo / Topic … there was the following question … 

A couple of things to settle below but before that, I have a question – Why are you called the Bob Geldof of advertising?

Given that ‘title’ has only been bestowed upon me by certain people on this blog, I would like to congratulate you on your power-of-influence – more impressive than most Government ‘Spin Doctors’.

Of course I’m sure Mr Geldof wouldn’t be happy to know some ‘advertising person’ is becoming loosely synonomous with his good name, but it could be worse – he could be known as the Rob Campbell of Music, ha!

My Boss Sir Bob Geldolf Fock Orff Ya Advertising Baarrrstad


77 Comments

That’s bloody gold, Billy and Fred must be pissing themselves. And what did you reply?

Comment by Pete

Yes, I bet Billy and Fred in particular are feeling right-royally chuffed with themselves.

Naturally I replied in a humble manner … saying that as much as I’d like to think it’s because we’re both passionate and hate the mediocrity that goes on around us – it’s probably to do with the fact we both swear alot.

While I am trying to act all nonchalant … the reality is I’m quite happy to be asked that question, because normally the only thing people want to know is what it was like to play with Terrance Trent bloody D’arby and the like, ha!

Given Billy has threatened me with being the Bono or Oprah of Adland, I am quite comfortable with this ‘declaration’, ha!

Comment by Rob

You guessed well, Pete.

It now seems indisputable that people on this blog have contributed to adding a relevant, sought-after and highly marketable dimension to the Rob Campbell brand.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

All you need is a knighthood now.

Comment by Jade

Good point Fredrik, I think we should charge Rob a “fee” for increasing his market value.

And Jade, if memory serves me correct, Rob once bought a “title” to scare/impress one of the Coke people he used to deal with in Atlanta. It worked as well. 🙂

I am right in saying that aren’t I Rob or am I mistaking you for someone else?

Comment by Pete

Pete That’s gold – maybe I should try it.

Comment by Jade

Yeah … yeah … book a meeting with my PA / Publicist / Designer / Stylist and if they say I have a ‘window’, then I’ll see what I can do. Ahem.

And yes, it was me who bought the title – some wanky ‘Lord Of The Manor’ or something … and while I couldn’t use it on credit cards etc [and trust me, I did try, ha!] we did let it quietly slip out at Coke that I was ‘titled’ which intimidated the little fuck we had to deal with so much, he finally stopped spouting absolute shite in meetings and let us get on with what we were paid to do!

We should buy George one given he is now the litter tray for their crap. If you think a British accent in the US still works – you should try a British accent with a TITLE attached, even if it is fakeish, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

Thought it was you. Didn’t you do a similar thing at Raffles in Singapore as well? Don’t you know you can get arrested for impersonating a person who has an outrageously comfortable life without having to do anything for it? 🙂

Comment by Pete

Errrrrm yes I did. You are like a fucking elephant with your memory!

I was freelancing in Singapore before cynic started and flew my then girlfriend out to see me. She was desperate to go and have ‘high-tea’ at Raffles so when I tried to book it, I was gutted to hear it was fully booked.

Immediately I said “Lord Campbell will be disappointed” to which they amazingly found a table at the exact time I wanted.

Given I look more like a terrorist than of the gentry, I was rather scared when I turned up – infact I was told by the guard at the entrance that Birkenstocks [see, told you I’ve been wearing them for years] were not allowed.

However, when he asked if I had a reservation and I replied yes, my name was Campbell [I was too frightened and intimidated to use the fake ‘LORD’ thing] he couldn’t get me in quick enough – to which I and my lady friend were treated to the best service and treatment you have ever experienced in your life – including complimentary drinks and a personal waiter.

Of course I spent the whole time crapping myself the Queen or Prince Charles [or my Mum] would walk in and label me the imposter I was – so I didn’t enjoy a moment of it.

Infact I felt so guilty that at the end, I tipped more than the bloody high tea had cost [which was $100 in itself] which goes to show that crime DOES pay – but probably not in the manner most criminals would like, ha.

Even worse was that a few years later, I was put up at Raffles for a couple of nights and stayed glued inside my room for fear of seeing a photo of me prominantly on display saying something like “LORD CAMPBELL ONCE STAYED HERE”

Luckily I am a reformed character … no more ‘titles’ for me … which means I end up with the same shitty service the rest of you get each and every day, haha!

Comment by Rob

That’s a very funny story. I will only mention that MTV are owned by Viacom who are sueing Youtube a little bit because that is such a funny story.

Comment by Charles Frith

Bob has hair. Morning. I’m old.

Comment by Marcus

Given MTV [America] are cynic clients – I couldn’t give a fuck about Youtube ESPECIALLY as the bastard has got me into all sorts of trouble with ‘her indoors’ as well as made me look an even bigger buffoon with iPOD Singing and the like.

As far as I concerned, Youtube can bugger off – IT’S RUINING MY LIFE, ha.

And yes Marcus, you are OLD … so put your slippers on, leave the door off the latch and place all your life savings in a biscuit tin that is visible to everyone from your front room window.

Comment by Rob

fucking small biscuit tin then.

Comment by Marcus

Actually Marcus, I have hair too … I just CHOOSE to not let it grow and anyone who says otherwise can … can … can … stick their head in a bucket of poo.

[I really am tired today, can you tell?]

Comment by Rob

Better Geldof than Bono!

The other day I spoke to my little bro and he was talking about getting words in the dictionary; I asked him what it was and mentioned a site trying to get boringe in…

Then the next day another bro tells me that he is thinking of doing the apsotw project on Hummer. I then have to explain to him that was one of the guys there that got him a pic of a famous entrepreneur…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Hahaha … that’s gold and apprentely we’ve got BORINGE into one dictionary [198,000 signatures!!!] but are hanging out for the big one … the OXFORD English Dictionary.

We’re still waiting on a reply from Microsoft too – but given there’s been nothing for months, we’re not thinking it is looking too positive.

How on earth did your brother hear of Boringe – and more importantly, why the hell hasn’t he signed the petition!!!

Comment by Rob

I think he has… and im not sure!!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I’ll have our poor IT guy check, it’ll give him something to do other than play games, watch porn or try and stop our billion spam emails each day.

Comment by Rob

I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright
I’ve never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They’re looking for a little romance
Given half a chance
And I’ve never seen that dress you’re wearing
Or that highlights in your hair
That catch your eyes
I have been blind

Lady in red is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There’s nobody here
It’s just you and me
It’s where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight

Comment by Marcus

YOU FUCKER BROWN!

OK, so to explain Marcus’ little ‘joke’, I was listening to Chris Cornell [ex-Soundgarden, Audioslave] on iTUNES when a colleague came in to ask me a question.

While he was talking, the album finished and the next song on the iTunes list came on … CHRIS DeBURGH’s ‘A Spaceman Came Travelling’!!!

That is even worse than ‘The Lady In Red’ that Marcus put the lyrics up for!!!

Of course I have changed my iTunes to REPEAT ONE SONG, but I know I will never live this down – but I should thank God for small mercies, because it could have so easily been Bucks Fizz or The Kids From Fame OST!

OK folks, confessional time … worse songs on your iTunes list. I think you already know mine.

Comment by Rob

Who wants to know why I’ve just posted Chris De Burgh lyrics on Rob’s blog? Believe me, it’s worth asking.

Comment by Marcus

damn. You beat me to it you bastard. Damn and bugger.

Comment by Marcus

Come on Marcus … be quicker … you think I wouldn’t get my response up bloody quickly after a post like yours, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

was too busy pissing myself laughing at the Roger Whittaker of the advertising world. You sad bastard.

Comment by Marcus

Ironically, I still think the ‘Bob Geldof’ of advertising could still work – have you heard his last album? Ha.

Comment by Rob

Ha ha ha ha….the Roger Whittaker of Advertising….please stop!

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Does this make Andy Midge Ure then?

Comment by NP

Midget Lure?

I have so many genres on my list that I must have some terrible ones…

Though my WORST ones are only on there for my fiancee!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I definitely hate Bob Geldof. If I were you I even would prefer to be the Benny Hill of advertising. Or the Engelbert Humperdinck of whatever. But not goddamn Bob Geldof.

Comment by Seb

does “goddamn” deserves a 😉 ?

Comment by Seb

Hahaha… the Benny Hill of advertising:

Smutty and always chasing women?

Hang on, isnt that Andy?

;););)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

better than being the g i jane of advertising np 🙂

Comment by andy@cynic

Better than being the Ben Elton of anything…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

He DID write Blackadder…

Rob (Cynic) – the Phil Collins of advertising?

😉

Comment by Will

will – are you looking for a job still? if i were you, i wouldn’t be calling the guy who has been doing you favours the Phil Collins of advertising until i at least had work!! ha! but then, i’m not you..

Comment by lauren

Phil Collins implies a skilled yet ultimately dull as dishwater advertiser…

Not really Rob is it?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

😉

He loves it really. I’d be the Jarvis Cocker of advertising, for what it’s worth.

Comment by Will

Good point Rob. Some more thought will have to be put into this one.

So then Rob & Lauren – who would you be? Eh?

Comment by Will

I asked that on the other post… no reply yet!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

And as for shittest songs on the iPod:

New Radicals – You Get What You Give
ABBA – Winner Takes It All
Phil Collins – Easy Lover
REO Speedwagon – Keep On Loving You.
Bryan Adams – Summer of 69.

I’m a sucker for 70’s/80’s guitary power ballads.

No Chris De Burgh, but I do have some Bill Bailey parodies of him.

Comment by Will

dont ever call rob the phil collins of advertising will. i dont want to be in any way associated with that bland fuckwit.

Comment by andy@cynic

Bill Bailey – genius.

Summer of 69 is Adam’s one good song because of its fairly blatant sexual connotations.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

If he was Andy, that would make you Peter Gabriel!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I’d be the Yoko Ono of advertising.
Depending on your view, either the ultimate destroyer of the greatest group of blokes who ever created anything, or a killer conceptual mistress with insight and longevity.

Either that or Joan Jett… arse kicker royale.

Comment by lauren

Point taken Andy.. but Rob M:

Can you imagine them singing ‘Selling England By The Pound’?

A bit of Firth of Forth.. anyone?

I’m still trying to think who you would be in the world of advertising Rob M.. I’m either Jarvis Cocker (fashion sense) or Hugh Grant (accent). Hah.

Comment by Will

Lauren, I have to say I associate you as Joan Jett.. but get the Yoko thing..

You have to order odd drinks (a plum floating in perfume served in a man’s hat is a good start) in order to truly be the latter.

Comment by Will

I was thinking Jarvis actually… the plucky outsider who never gave up, found fame later in life than usual, and always says what he believes.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Kudos for the simpson quote Will.

Number 8…*parp*
Number 8…*parp*

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Yeah, you can have Jarvis – you are certainly more Northern than me (and not nearly as dour/Midlands)

Also, if you can write a lyric like the one below, hell, you should be knighted:

You’ll never live like common people,
you’ll never do what common people do,
you’ll never fail like common people,
you’ll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there’s nothing else to do.

Comment by Will

Rob M – your uncanny ability to pick up Simpsons quotes when I drop them in is fantastic.. if you also like Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace and the Boosh, it’s all good.

Comment by Will

Indeed.
Not seen much of them, but I intend to pick up the dvds soon…

Ive watched the simpsons at least twice a week on average since 1993.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Rob M – both are ‘acquired’ tastes. Some of Garth Marenghi is dark, but not as dark and strange as the League of Gentlemen (a personal favourite).

I used to be like you with regards The Simpsons, but my watching has waned recently… due in no small part to the new eps not being quite as good as they used to be.

Comment by Will

Indeed. Though they still have the odd moment of genius. The bit with Homer and Mario was a highlight of recent years.

Series 3-8/9 are still brilliant though.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Don’t you all have jobs or something? You know, like something to do?

Comment by Marcus

The duo-thing it brilliant. Maybe Andy and Rob are the Siegfried & Roy of advertising. Or the Milli Vanilli…the Crockett & Tubbs, the Ike & Tina Turner, the Sonny & Cher…or the Wildecker Herzbuben (go on, type that into Google Image search…haha) of advertising.

Comment by Seb

I can’t protect you from Andy Seb. Consider your career over.

Comment by Marcus

Yeah Rob – I agree mate. Lollapalooza has one of the greatest Pumpkins quotes in the world.

And job? Me? Not yet Marcus.. soooooon..

Comment by Will

I quietly leave Jill on the sofa so I can check what’s been happening on this blog for the past 4-5 hours and apart from witnessing the continuing insults about my ‘advertising manhood’ [nothing new there then!], I see Seb has committed the ultimate mistake and insulted Andy.

Poor, poor Seb – can we have a minutes peace for him please as he will surely be dead soon [probably when Andy has creeped some more to Virgin, ha. On behalf of all of us – especially George – thank you Mr M! Haha!]

Back tomorrow …

Comment by Rob

“Somebody ordered a London Symphony Orchestra, possibly while high…Cyprus Hill im looking in your direction…”

‘Er guys, did we order a London symphony orchestra…. Yeah we think we did’

‘Do you know Insane in the Brain?’

#We mainly know classical, but we’ll give it a shot…#

Comment by Rob Mortimer

‘Hey you kids – get out of my cooler!’

‘Oh, come on Mr Frampton. You don’t need ALL of that watermelon’

Comment by Will

“pesky fucking kids” – Scooby Doo.

Comment by Marcus

“Never trust anyone over 30!”

and the classic:

“Are you being sarcastic?”
‘I dont even know anymore…’

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Always foiling any nefarious plan, those cocking kids.

It’s long been my ambition to buy a van, call it the mystery machine, paint it up, force a dog (through some means of an electronic voice box/major surgery) to talk, and get all my friends to pile into the van.

We might not solve any mysteries, but I don’t think people would ever forget it.

Comment by Will

dear seb, your comment about rob and me better be an attempt to scare wk or you are fucking dead. remember wk want to be scared with ideas not stupidity. you have been warned. much love.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Hey, this place smells like Otto”

OR:

“Got any Bread?”

“Try the oldies section”.

And when he inadvertently becomes a rasta. Brilliance.

Comment by Will

So I’m the GI Jane of advertising. Jolly good.
I’d prefer Sinead O Connor. Not least since her greatest hit was written by Prince.

Comment by NP

Haha!

“Hi, im Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins”
‘Homer Simpson, smiling politely’

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Can you cry on command NP?

An essential skill for any music video you may be involved in.

Comment by Will

Rob M – that is the line I was referring to. Great great writing.

Comment by Will

all the duos are a bunch of fucking rich people. would be no problem for me to look like a Wildeck version of Siegfried while wearing the clothes of Sonny Crockett when I am dead rich. and as andy said Benny Hill shagged more girls than all of us together. so where is the problem? I tell you. unfortunately I look like them without the money.

Comment by Seb

well done seb, i like you again. sensitive? moi? too fucking right.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe Rob and George are Siegfried and Roy, and Andy is the tiger…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

The tiger mauled one of them, didn’t it… was it Siegfried or Roy?

Comment by Will

andy, i love you, but you’ve gone and offended NP and now he’s not going to blog again for a while. thanks a fucking bunch, mate!

Comment by lauren

😉

Comment by lauren

Rob, read that sentence again: “Andy is the tiger…” Isn’t that one of these phrases that should never exist between two men?

Comment by Seb

I just have to point you to this:
http://www.idee07.tv/?screenId=screen-home&videoId=2307.
I love the sentence “Big ideas need big people behind it”. There is some hope left for me…haha.

Comment by Seb




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