The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You’re Not The Only One Geldof, I Don’t Like Mondays Either.

Hello folks … I’m back from my mini-holiday!

Yes, I had a fantastic time [how can you not when you are free from work and responsibility] and yes, I fulfilled everything I said I would and yes, I did go and see the wonderful Lauren’s exhibition [which I genuinely loved – really loved it] but now I am back and boy don’t I know it.

First up … the anal aspects of the Singaporean Government.

The photo above is from the official Road Transport Departments website detailing specifically how their road signs MUST look. [We found it as we’re doing something for a client with them]

Anyway, the buggers are so anal that the smiley face has exact measurement dimensions – detailing such things as the distance of the eyes from the edge of the ‘face’ and – even more mental – how wide the ‘smile’ must be.

Talk about jobsworths and red tape.

It might not be so bad if the buggers hadn’t fucked up the grammar of the sign by saying ‘Thank You For YOU Co-operation’ – though they will probably just say it’s ‘Singlish’, a local dialect of English which basically is an excuse for using bad grammar, different meaning and sloppy spelling.

To be fair, many clients and their brand guideline books are just as pedantic as the Singaporean Road Transport Department  – so maybe I’m being a bit unfair. 

It’s just this sort of thing drives me mad … of course I appreciate the importance of consistency, but if you are so anal about every detail, you potentially can stop any element of vitality, enthusiasm and emotion coming out and embracing the consumer … which as far as I am concerned, is not a good thing.

Maybe it’s because too many companies and their underqualified/under-experienced brand managers don’t realise a brand is actually much, much, much more than just a template or a colour – but given that’s an issue I’ve banged on about a few times, I think I’ll just move on

OK … let me introduce you to the ‘if you have money, you can do whatever you want’ situation.

The piccie above is of a man smoking at a cafe in Singapore.

Now smoking in Asia is pretty widespread [especially in Indonesia, China and Japan] and while there are many designated ‘NO SMOKING’ areas, the reality is they are pathetically enforced.

I remember being in a hotel in Beijing and the man next to me was told that there were no more smoking rooms available.

He was just about to walk away when they said, “But don’t worry Sir … you can smoke in no smoking room instead”

Basically, if you have – or are believed to have – cash, rules can get bent.

This can be very useful if you are caught speeding or jaywalking … but it can also be very annoying when it means a smoker can puff away mere inches from me and my lunch. [I HATE smoking with a passion!]

Finally … and quite possibly the most scary … proof that Singapore is rather weird!

Over the last few years, Singapore has been relaxing its rules and regulations in a number of areas – one of the most being interms of sexuality and sensuality.

To be honest, it was abit mad banning any DVD that was rated 15+ when one of the biggest [but never acknowledged] tourist attractions in the place is Orchard Towers – better known as the ‘Four Floors Of Whores’. [Have a wild guess what it on the ‘menu’!]

Anyway … and I should credit Hari and Fred for showing me this … to great fanfare, a SEX MAGAZINE has recently been launched in this land of the clean and while eagerly checking it out [supposedly for intellectual purposes], the boys came across this photo …

 

WHAT THE …Why on earth is there a photo of some dirty, hairy bloke greased up and sat on a fucking toilet??? 

Is this sexual?  If it is, am I that prudish and square?  Are the women in Asia into the sort of thing that Andy used to have to pay ‘top dollar’ for*??? 

It’s like a road accident – I don’t want to look but at the same time, my eyes have a desire to be shocked, tortured and disgusted.

Please, if any lady reads this blog … and I am aware a few do … could you please tell me if this is HOT or WRONG. I need to know … I really, really need to know!

So there you have it, another post of absolutely pointlessness – but then what do you expect, eh?!

Saying all that, later this week I will be putting up the first assignment for the Advertising Planning School On The Web so hopefully you’ll find that abit more useful and interesting – and let me assure you, the brief won’t be to make ‘Mr Grease Man’ famous around the World.  Ta-ra …

* That is a joke. Now Andy – please put down the phone to your lawyer!

31 Comments so far
Leave a comment