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So I am at the airport, waiting to board yet another bloody plane … and I find myself in the Business Class Lounge of Singapore Airlines. Talk about depressing!!!
Sure there is a load of food and drink for me to shove down my gob, but nobody … and I mean nobody … acknowledges eachother. They all live in their little Worlds, either thinking they have ‘made it’ or simply trying to appear like they’ve ‘made it’.
Some talk loudly to mysterious people on their phones, others read business newspapers while all I do is I listen to my iPod wearing ripped jeans and an obnoxious t-shirt! [I talked to Jesus – He’s my Mexican gardener!]
OK, so this isn’t the sort of place a yobbish bloke like me should be in, however for my sins, I spend most of my life flying, so Airlines give me ‘Premium Status’ and I end up in these lounges which were obviously designed for people with a personality bypasses.
Where is the rule that business people MUST be serious, suit wearing arses, forever checking their Blackberries?
Come on, where???
To think when I was younger I thought this sort of life would be cool … how silly was I?
Thank the Lord [or my parents] but I will NEVER subscribe to this life, I don’t want every step of my career pre-ordained … from the BMW and corner office through to the affair with my PA and the Gold watch … I want to be surprised, charmed, scared, excited!
Is this pathetic?
Maybe … but not as pathetic as living a life where you daren’t express your inner thoughts for fear of upsetting the corporate bosses!
Life is supposed to be interesting isn’t it? Isn’t it???
I know what you’re thinking … so why don’t I simply avoid these Airport Lounges?
Well, while that is a perfectly acceptable question, the justification I give is that as annoying as it is, the look of terror on the faces of the Airline staff and fellow passengers as I walk in, makes it all worth while … seriously, it is brilliant, you can just see them desperately asking themselves, “… but how and why is ‘he’ here?”
Anyway, Airlines … not all people who fly alot for business are stuffy, stock market obsessed fools … think of me, the rough looking, soccer loving [even though it is Nottingham Forest], mag reading fool … because as much as you might not like my ‘sort’ frequenting your lounges. you like my money and for that, I demand to be catered for.
[I could write tons about how the people stare when I sit in my Business Class Seat … but that would take too long and besides, I don’t care … I just stretch out and sleep, ha!]
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rob, it’s my life’s dream to document the shock on those peoples faces!
Comment by lauren March 21, 2007 @ 5:56 pmi grew up as an ID90 kid and i hate the fuckers. i used to have to sit next to them, pretending to be business-like and failing miserably (black nailpolish isn’t corporate standard-issue, apparently).
i can’t tell you how much i relish my virgin blue flights where i’m squished in and lining up with the rest of the kids in the playground!
I once sat in Düsseldorf airport waiting lounge. It was late, the last flight back to Munich. It was the kind of inland flight that has no business or economy class. Looking around it struck me how sad, tired and fucked all the business men/women were. After a brief moment of Schadenfreude I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and realised I looked exactly like everybody else there.
I then knew, that something had to change.
Good afternoon (hello Lauren, thanks for you lovely comment).
Comment by Marcus Brown March 21, 2007 @ 6:57 pmhi marcus! that’s ok. thanks for the post!
Comment by lauren March 21, 2007 @ 7:16 pmI’ve also had Schadenfreude in airport lounges (and peak hour traffic and commuter trains).
You are my hero Rob. For real. I refuse to accept a job where I’ll have to wear a suit, it’s always tshirt, jeans and Nike kicks all the way!
Sigh, probably why I’m STILL unemployed but fuck it, I have principals dammit!
Comment by Age March 21, 2007 @ 7:17 pmHi Age … trust me, I am not worthy of any legendary status, the reason I do this is not solely to piss off the stereotypical business class bores [but that is fun], but because I am a bloke from Nottingham with minimal class who still can’t work out how he got to do this international-travel-thing for a job! And this is the killer … given I’ve seen your work, I can say you have more natural talent than I could probably muster in 3 lifetimes so your unemployment situation can only be short-lived because quite frankly, the industry is starved of talent and you already are far better equipped than many people already earning decent money inside of agencies.
Comment by Rob March 22, 2007 @ 9:11 amI am not saying that to be nice – it is true – and I hope that someone in Melbourne gets their head out their arse and gives you a very well deserved break. It’ll be too their advantage …