The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


It’s Official: Bald Blokes Are Clever*
March 15, 2007, 9:54 am
Filed under: Comment

Dsc01472_1

So Mr Mortimer has been officially asked to write about the upcoming Future Marketing Summit.

Even though he is disgustingly clever, he was kind enough to ask if there were any questions we would like him to put to the smart people speaking at the event.

Anyway, he’s got some … but he probably would like some more … soooooooo, drop him a note and help him get the exposure [and acclaim] he so rightly deserves.

* 10 of the 11 ‘bald people’ asked, felt they were definitely smarter than the masses.

The 11th person was 1 month old, hence could not answer.


41 Comments

and clearly bald blokes who wear glasses are even more clever, right?

Comment by lauren

That’s absolutely correct Lauren. An astute observation.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Lauren, with that level of insight, you should be a planner. [Though you missed out that bald blokes who wear glasses and come from Nottingham are the cream of the crop. Allegedly]

Comment by Rob

I am not bald and I do not wear glasses and yet I am rather good at my job.

What does this prove?

Lauren, Fred and Rob are all shit at insights.

Good luck on your commentary Mr Rob Mortimer, I look forward to following it on your blog and say hello to Barry who is most likely going to be there. You’ll be able to recognise him, he’ll be the frightfully small but clever person there.

Comment by George

You also missed out the blokes with glasses who have lots of hair on their head and are from a little east of Nottingham.

Comment by Hari

What? Leicester … ?

[Note I am ignoring your comment George as you have alot to be getting on with, ha!]

Comment by Rob

i’m really just humouring all of you, because the fact of the matter is that girls will always be the cleverest. but having fun fighting over second place 🙂

Comment by lauren

Unfortunately I actually agree with you on that Lauren … but only if they wear glasses, have bald heads and look like the back end of a bus.

Hey, I don’t patronise chicks. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

Hello George, thank god for wise men like you or this blog would be overrun by lunatics.

Lauren, my wife wants you to know that you’re a genius. Of course she won’t blog here, which is probably another sign of smarts.

Comment by Hari

what a shock, hari is a creepy little fuck to planner george but not to creative me.

well remember this hari, george would be fucking nothing without people like me and while all good creatives love good planners, we still have it in our power to totally screw up all your intellectual rambling bollocks with the snap of a coloured pen if we so desire.

now why the fuck are you married to lauren? please tell me its another lauren and not my catholic, swearing, car smashing sweetheart? and why the hell would your wife think george is a genius? what the fuck has he done to her the cheeky little dog.

Comment by andy@cynic

Andy … don’t get personal.

Comment by Rob

Well Andy, in fact George and me once had a discussion here about how some creative people are really dedicated etc., So I respected you a lot, until now.

Firstly, me saying George is wise says nothing about creative people. And obviously you have nothing against creepy people, as you’re more pissed that I didn’t creep to you than the fact that I creep at all.

Secondly, there was no comma after “my wife” so that message was to Lauren from my wife, and in no way suggested Lauren was my wife. My wife is a lovely lady who I would never allow near a mob like this.

Lastly, I don’t think anyone doubts you can ruin a lot with those coloured pens of yours, that’s precisely why there are planners.

Comment by Hari

hari, i am sure you are a nice bloke and rob has said nice things about you, but you should wait till youve done something with your job thats actually worthwhile before going on about how great planners are; because at this point, the only thing you can be proud of is managing to con rob into believing you are a good guy.

as for respect, i couldnt give two fucking hoots if you respected me or not, ive been hated by far better planners than you and i didnt give a shit about them either.

you probably meant your post to be ironic and i can take a joke, but as any good planner knows, you should never be over familiar with people you hardly know, so heres your first planning lesson, never get too big for your boots till youve earnt the right. the difference between arrogance and intelligence is having achieved something.

now run along and make rob some tea.

love
ab

Comment by andy@cynic

Well done Hari … great career limiting move, George and I are very, very proud of you!

Mine’s milk with no sugar please …

Comment by Rob

get me a sausage sandwich and all is forgiven.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s better … niceness inside, anger outside.

And Andy I am impressed with your last paragraph to Hari regarding ‘arrogance’ … it’s actually very insightful. You have been listening to us haven’t you, ha!

Comment by Rob

listening to you? more like you fuckers have been listenting to me.

and thank you hari, you induced a surge of anger within me that ensures were going to win the pitch tomorrow. so there you go, your first association with really great work. well done.

friends? you and i both need as many as we can get

Comment by andy@cynic

Ahhhhhhhhh … it’s a Kodak moment.

[Cue: uplifting orchestral music and end credits]

Comment by Rob

cock

Comment by andy@cynic

How very exciting.

Comment by George

great, now i’m andy’s catholic, swearing, car smashing sweetheart. this week is turning out to be fucking brilliant…

Comment by lauren

Do I sense a hint of sarcasm there dear Lauren?

Comment by Rob

sar-what?

Comment by lauren

Hi Andy. Of course we are friends. I wouldn’t want it any other way with anyone on this blog. And genuine thanks for your advice, it’s good to remember that great work is the only thing that counts.

(Oh ya, Rob I know: uplifting orchestral music and end credits]

Comment by Hari

How come every thread that mentions me ends up going into some weird argument…!

Still, thanks Rob!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Hari … Andy is probably now asleep, but he did call me because he was worried he’d upset you so please know he’s not always a complete bastard. Just most of the time.

And Mr Mortimer … I have no idea why that happens, but it is a skill and another reason why we want you here with us!

Comment by Rob

1. Give Andy a fucking Prozac.
2. Hari, stop being so nice and grown up. It’s horrid.
3. Is anyone going to ask Mr. M. anything? ANYTHING?
4. I am bald and wear glasses.
5. Morning.

Comment by Marcus Brown

So Marcus … you would be agreeing with Lauren and her insight then!

Comment by Rob

Lauren, what about bald women?

Comment by NP

Sinead O’Conner is a planner???

Comment by Rob

She’s got the Cynic temperament

Comment by NP

That’s a good point … and without any hits for a while, she might be in the market to earn a few quid. Thanks NP …

Comment by Rob

I dont think anyone is going to ask me anything, so:

Sinead O Connor, what an excellent idea for a planner. Though not for the Catholic market…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Rob – I’ll agree with most things today.

Comment by Marcus Brown

Rob, I have sent another all staffer to get the troops to think of more questions … hopefully they’ll get back to you/me soon.

And I am chasing Mr B for your brother. I even spoke to him today and he promised to try – and then said he can’t promise. TYPICAL!

Comment by Rob

Haha, thanks!
You dont have to put pressure on him, I appreciate how busy he must be!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Well this way he might get to know your name and then give you upgrades forever.

Comment by Rob

Ooh…! 😀

Sadly VA dont fly to Mauritius (I dont think), but will be nice next time we go to HK!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

You bald blokes are damn funny too!!! Or I don’t know – clever in a funny way. Am not yet there yet. Light crop circles have started popping up on my head.

Comment by Mohamed Salim

Genius, we’re not bald, we simply have crop circles!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Come on Salim … get the clippers out!

Comment by Rob




Comments are closed.