The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Ad’s Attack …

I have to highlight one of the fucking worst ads I’ve seen in a very, very, very long time.

Yeah I noticed it … so some of you out there will probably claim they’ve done their job … but I don’t believe in pure brand awareness because ultimately anyone can achieve that by just running down the road naked with a turkey on their privates. 

As far as I am concerned, ALL advertising must motivate a positive action of some sort [be it physical, mental, emotional] and all these ads did was make me sick.

Yep … Mr Fat Fuck Travolta … not that you’d know it given the amount of airbrushing his picture has had.

Can you get a more condescending ad???

“Profession: Pilot.  Career: Actor.”  Give me strength.

Lots of watch companies use celebrities to endorse their brand … however the usual strategy is to use someone who is relevant and has a degree of aspirational appeal. 

Sure, years ago Travolta maybe fitted that criteria, but then years ago, I had perfect eyesight and hair … things change.

Given Travolta is some washed out, overpaid actor who happens to fly, do Breitling really think that is going to make me want to rush out and buy one of their watches? 

Do they think that is going to make me look cool?  It won’t make me look cool, it’ll make me look a complete tosser as this ‘sketch’ demonstrates …

Person 1: “Wow, nice watch, is that the pilot edition Breitling?”

Person 2: “Sure is … it’s the same one John Travolta wears”

Person 1: “John Travolta?  But isn’t he an actor?

Person 2: “Yeah, but he’s a pilot too”

Person 1: “Is that what he has to do now, given his film career has gone down the pan?”

Person 2: “No, he’s a really well known, successful actor who happens to be a pilot as well. This watch shows the World I’m successful and like flying!”

Person 1: “But you don’t fly and Travolta made films like Michael – and that was shit”

Person 2: “What about Pulp Fiction?  Grease?”

Person 1: “What about them?”

Person 2: “They were cool … which means he is cool … which means I am cool because I’m wearing the same watch as him”

Person 1: “No … because Travolta made Michael AFTER those supposedly cool flicks, which means he’s a sad bastard scientologist, which makes you a sad bastard scientologist for wearing the same watch as him”

Person 2: “Are you saying this watch makes me look a cock?”

Person 1: “Yep”

Person 2: “Damn, I knew I should have bought the 007 Omega!”

See … unequivocal evidence this watch immediately shows you as the sad, ex-starfucker you are. 

Not only that, but if you were a professional pilot, would you really want to own a a watch that some ‘actor’ and part-time pilot uses? It’s the equivalent of Eddie Van Halen buying a Fender Strat because Michael J Fox played one in ‘Back To The Future’.

This ad has single-handidly made sure I will NEVER, EVER, EVER will buy a Breitling watch … which is probably not the sort of response you’d want with your communication! 

Celebrity endorsement can be a great thing for a brand … but if you choose the wrong person, you can inflict massive damage to your brand.  A case in point is Viagra.

Years ago we were asked to think of a celebrity to endorse this product.  They wanted someone globally recognised, who was older than 40 and generally fit and healthy.

Because it is … lets be honest … a sex aid for men, we thought the best person to be the global ambassador was ex Formula 1 champion, James Hunt.

Why?

Well because apart from being pretty well known, over 40 [sort-of] and generally healthy [again, sort-of] Mr Hunt was famous for having the sex drive of a bull!

In essence, he was the poster boy for sexual stamina … with our favourite story being he once made love to a sponsors wife within 10 minutes of meeting her. The racing crew – aware of Hunt’s sexual habits – made sure her husband was kept unaware of what was going on by showing him around the racing car.  Hunt won the race and then ‘bagged’ a Miss World contestant that night.

OK … so the problem was that James Hunt had been dead for years … but with the wonders of technology, we knew we could resurrect him’ and get him to explain how Viagra could help you enjoy the life he once had. 

We knew we hadn’t won the business when within seconds of us detailing the idea, the client said we were positioning Viagra as a ‘Promiscuity Pill’ [which it wasn’t, but would have probably made it even more popular if we had!] but even we were surprised when months later, they announced Pele was going to be their global ambassador.

Pele?  PELE? 

Had anyone even seen him with a woman?  

Hell, Ken [from Barbie] has more sexual action than he does.  Lets be honest, the only ball action Pele is synonymous with is the one he uses in football matches. 

Of course the product went on to be very successful but it wasn’t because of ads was it … I mean, do people really want to think of Pele when you pop a blue pill and get ready for some ‘action’?  [If you do, please don’t tell me about it]

So there you go … celebrity endorsement can be both positive and negative … but I was wondering if any of you can think of other good [read: bad] examples I should mention?

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