The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

this is a good post. I like it. Thank you.

I’m hungover, I like simple things.

Hello Lauren – errrrrm, I’m sad to say that I think this post may be a high-point in the history of this whole blog thing.

Glad you are a sausage lover – my other half was a veggie for 12 years and waaaaaaaaaaay prefers a sausage butty over a bacon sarnie any day. Even if the bacon sandwich has HP Brown Sauce.

That’s why I love her. I think.

I’ve just phoned Katerina – she’s bringing in a sausage sandwich for your breakie so that [1] you don’t whinge about missing out for the rest of the day [2] you vote – YOUR SAUSAGES NEED YOU!

I want it on record I am eating sausages as an anti British Empire demonstration.

For all I care Billy, you can eat sausages as a rallying cry for one legged, Egyptian lesbians who go by the name of Derek – JUST EAT AND VOTE!

im eating the best sausage sandwich in the history of sausages which is why everyone in this agency is going to support you or be sacked. im not wimpy like rob and george, when i have a cause in mind, i make waves and today, those waves are for sausages.

Why has it taken us years to find out all we had to do was feed you a sausage first thing in the morning to ensure peace, happiness and quiet? I feel ripped off. I am going to open that job number for sausages, it’s the best investment we’ll have ever made.

Touche

a couple of the virgin guys and some from adidas and apple definitely read it but we tend to keep it quiet from the majority of them because this is robs blog not our company one plus for some of clients in america and asia, they just wouldnt understand what were talking about. going to have another sausage. we winning the vote yet?

ill ask george when he comes back as branson is his mate so you never know.

ah, it’s nice to have friends. Maybe having “endoursed by Richard Branson” may help.

it says that the vote closes Tuesday. A matter of hours in some countries.

may the sauce be with you.

50/50!

Sausages rule. And are slightly ahead. Sausage lovers, get voting..

Marcus, sorry for the late reply but I’ve been out all day. I tried to get hold of Richard but his confused PA told me he is away so I hope you forgive me but I thought it best not to hassle him about supporting the sausage petition. On the positive side (for you), Andy has done no work today and has seemingly bothered everyone in Virgin… make that North America… to vote for sausages so I hope this late surge makes a significant difference for you and us and sausages as a whole. Speak soon and fingers crossed.

Marcus, I love your film of pro-sausage, anti-bacon. You should be on the stage, or at least in a sitcom. That is actually a compliment though I appreciate you may not realise that.

its 4am here. i never knew 4am existed but im ready to provide the final push for us and sausage glory.

By adding the word “beef” in front of sausage, you would potentially provide the entire Muslim population on this planet with a compelling reason to side with you and vote for sausage. Perhaps you could try to get access to some databases in the Kuwait, Iran or Saudi and launch a swift DM campaign. I can think of several ways to motivate pro-sausage voting in terms of messaging by linking British bacon to the most offensive faces of Western Imperialism and secular decadence. You know where to find me.

swedish fred. surprised you didnt mention that by adding moose we could get all of the nordic dwellers on our side as well.
see, i can be an intellectual planning man too. not that hard. now try doing an ad.

Andy. Don’t be surprised. By adding ‘moose’ to ‘beef’ you would probably deter a lot of the beef-loving Muslim voters (who would by far outnumber the Nordic moose lovers) given ‘moose’ in the beef-lovers’ minds would fall into the category of bizarre food, not exotic food (read: revolting, not appealing). Cultural sensitivity Andy…cultural sensitivity.

Don’t worry gentlemen, I have emailed my family to vote for you. I have a big family, you will win.

while i appreciate your help k, the even bigger issue is i havent had my daily sausage. where is it? dont you know its now company policy even if mary told you not to feed me.

just launched a sausage attack on davies site. i am the sas of the sausage celebration front. (scf)

sorry k

Poor Rob. More people have commented on sausages subject than his 10 questions.
What does that say about him eh? Nothing good, I can tell you that for nothing.

JESUS CHRIST … what the hell has been going on! Actually, don’t answer that, I think it best not to know.

Guys, before I go home, can you drag yourself away from my blog [YES ANDY, THIS IS MY BLOG – GO AND PONTIFICATE ON YOURS] and connect to the video conference, need to update you on a few things.

Marcus, hope all works out – what a team we are.

what have i done? ive fought for the rights of sausages thats what.
now get connected to the vc, want to hear the update. george isnt in yet, but hell phone in later

rob, sent.

I was just going to bed when I saw your cry for help.

Given Andy is stuck in a meeting [which I can’t stop because it’s the first bit of work he’s done all week] I’m calling up all the sausage reservists and encouraging them for one last push to the finish line.

Don’t worry Marcus … we will fight them at the butchers, we will fight them at the supermarkets. we will never surrender.

Dearest Andy, You should know we’re on the same side in the sausage debate. I even changed my IP address to enable multiple votes. (I though I ought to mention this to reduce the risk of you having a cholesterol/anger-triggered heart attack as you read on). As for your view on planning (planners talk shit), however, I find it interesting that you try to defame planning while at the same time showing clear evidence of the aspirational status the planning craft enjoys in your mind. “I can be a planning man too”…your words. Are you not happy doing what you do…writing ads? Maybe Rob and you should have a frank and open discussion on your career development. Rob is the kind of guy who loves to help and could give you some great advice. Just a thought.

Freddie … Freddie … Freddie … what have you done. I can only protect you so much and this might be a step too far.

Not only that, but I’ve known Andy 16 years and you only 2 … better not make me choose, you might lose, ha!

WE ONLY WENT AND BLOODY WON!

if my maths are right, we won by… wait for it… 1 vote. Davies will probably demand a recount.

ONE VOTE … ONE BLOODY VOTE … that makes winning even sweeter!

Not only will Davies demand a recount, he’ll claim we used ‘strong-arm’ tactics to influence voters … to which I’ll say OF COURSE WE DID because no one remembers who came second!

Quite Pete … and I’ve left a suitably victorious message on Mr Davies site.

Obviously Andy is not so enthusiastic today as it’s 4am and he’s no doubt snoring for the World.

george, im not apoplectic (nice choice of word) i actually feel sorry for fred because hes both swedish and a planner.
i mean, how much bad luck can one person get?

andy, I salute you. Posting my victory speach now.

WE BLOODY WON!

Mr. Mortimer, did you ever doubt the power of the wurst?

Marcus you will be inundated with SKYPE requests – you bloomin’ fool.

Just come back from my meeting and 50% of it was spent talking about sausages. It’s the language of business!

I’ve just Russell is STILL being a sore loser. What’s going on … he’s a Forest fan, he should be used to it.

although it will have to be a text-skype-chat thingy. I’ve left my headset at home. The excitement of it all.

You are all very, very smug. Stop it.

Bloody bacon fan.

Don’t worry about your secret Billy, we’re all members of the Anti-Billy Movement!