The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Sausages Kick Bacon’s Arse …
January 22, 2007, 6:48 pm
Filed under: Comment

Are You Looking At Me ??? vs IMG_6141

I don’t know how I’ve got involved in this, but if you – like me – think sausages are better than bacon [and if you don’t, bugger off my site] then click here and vote.

Come on, look at the facts … sausages are tasty, come in lots of flavours and can resemble a penis or a turd – bacon can’t match that for flexibility can it!

The sausage A bunch of sausages earlier.


95 Comments

this is a good post. I like it. Thank you.

Comment by MarcusBrown

A good post? You are easily pleased!

Comment by Robert

I’m hungover, I like simple things.

Comment by MarcusBrown

i’m guessing that this post is probably not indicative of the depth of this site, but i like it anyway.

even as a vegetarian, i’m weighing in with my vote: sausages are way better than bacon, for this reason: no matter how good bacon and eggs smell in the morning, sausages on a bbq always smell like the joy of summer evenings in the suburbs. what aussie doesn’t love a bbq! (and fake sausages taste way better than fake bacon).

Comment by lauren

Hello Lauren – errrrrm, I’m sad to say that I think this post may be a high-point in the history of this whole blog thing.

Glad you are a sausage lover – my other half was a veggie for 12 years and waaaaaaaaaaay prefers a sausage butty over a bacon sarnie any day. Even if the bacon sandwich has HP Brown Sauce.

That’s why I love her. I think.

Comment by Rob

my vote is open to whoever supplies me with a sausage or bacon sandwich first.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’ve just phoned Katerina – she’s bringing in a sausage sandwich for your breakie so that [1] you don’t whinge about missing out for the rest of the day [2] you vote – YOUR SAUSAGES NEED YOU!

Comment by Rob

Thank you Rob, Mondays are bad enough, but to have a Monday with a pissed off Andy would be just too much to stand.
I’ve ordered another round of sandwiches for the whole office – all in the name of supporting Marcus.
Shall I open a sausage job number? Are we going to be doing this often?

Comment by George

I want it on record I am eating sausages as an anti British Empire demonstration.

Comment by Billy Whizz

at least somebody in this organisation values my happiness.

Comment by andy@cynic

For all I care Billy, you can eat sausages as a rallying cry for one legged, Egyptian lesbians who go by the name of Derek – JUST EAT AND VOTE!

Comment by Robert

Looking a little better now. Closing in closing in. I’ve now posted a request for sausage support on http://forum.sausagemaking.org/ Should help alittle. Andy, I care. We all care. Sometimes.

Comment by MarcusBrown

im eating the best sausage sandwich in the history of sausages which is why everyone in this agency is going to support you or be sacked. im not wimpy like rob and george, when i have a cause in mind, i make waves and today, those waves are for sausages.

Comment by andy@cynic

Fuck, that sausage really has done something for you hasn’t it!

Comment by Rob

Why has it taken us years to find out all we had to do was feed you a sausage first thing in the morning to ensure peace, happiness and quiet? I feel ripped off. I am going to open that job number for sausages, it’s the best investment we’ll have ever made.

Comment by George

i thought you planners were supposed to understand what motivated people to act in particular ways. its me who feels ripped off.

Comment by andy@cynic

Touche

Comment by Rob

do your clients ever read this?

Comment by MarcusBrown

a couple of the virgin guys and some from adidas and apple definitely read it but we tend to keep it quiet from the majority of them because this is robs blog not our company one plus for some of clients in america and asia, they just wouldnt understand what were talking about. going to have another sausage. we winning the vote yet?

Comment by andy@cynic

still 2% off a breakeven. Do you think we could get Richard Branson to sponsor sausage?

Comment by MarcusBrown

ill ask george when he comes back as branson is his mate so you never know.

Comment by andy @ cynic

oi marcus, whens the vote final? how long have we got?

Comment by andy @ cynic

ah, it’s nice to have friends. Maybe having “endoursed by Richard Branson” may help.

Comment by MarcusBrown

well tell him its showing the world uk and german unification. that might put him off though, 🙂

Comment by andy @ cynic

it says that the vote closes Tuesday. A matter of hours in some countries.

Comment by MarcusBrown

operation sausage is on. with the timing, our australian and asian mob will be too late to help out any further but ill see what i can do on this side of the pond. fuck work, this is a global issue that demands attention. wish me luck.

Comment by andy @ cynic

may the sauce be with you.

Comment by MarcusBrown

getting close to 50/50

Comment by MarcusBrown

50/50!

Comment by MarcusBrown

“I think it runs until 11.59 pm tomorrow night.” That’s the news from the guy running it. End of play Tuesday.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Sausages rule. And are slightly ahead. Sausage lovers, get voting..

Comment by Will

Any Australian who doesn’t vote for sausage is simply, unaustralian.

+1 for edible turds!

Comment by Age

Marcus, sorry for the late reply but I’ve been out all day. I tried to get hold of Richard but his confused PA told me he is away so I hope you forgive me but I thought it best not to hassle him about supporting the sausage petition. On the positive side (for you), Andy has done no work today and has seemingly bothered everyone in Virgin… make that North America… to vote for sausages so I hope this late surge makes a significant difference for you and us and sausages as a whole. Speak soon and fingers crossed.

Comment by George

Bloody hell – what’s been going on while I’ve been gently snoozing away!

What a surprise Andy has been doing something else other than work – but as long as he’s in a good mood, who are we too care eh?

Sausages … Sausages … Sausages …

Comment by Rob

Marcus, I love your film of pro-sausage, anti-bacon. You should be on the stage, or at least in a sitcom. That is actually a compliment though I appreciate you may not realise that.

Comment by Pete

Pete, thank you. I’ve always wanted to work with walls that wobble. We’re slightly ahead. Slightly. Shame about Richard B. Lot’s of traffic out of the US. Well done Andy. Last day today. Let’s make it count.

Comment by MarcusBrown

its 4am here. i never knew 4am existed but im ready to provide the final push for us and sausage glory.

Comment by andy@cynic

Rob, George, extra sausage for Andy. Look at that dedication. Bloody hell.

Comment by MarcusBrown

By adding the word “beef” in front of sausage, you would potentially provide the entire Muslim population on this planet with a compelling reason to side with you and vote for sausage. Perhaps you could try to get access to some databases in the Kuwait, Iran or Saudi and launch a swift DM campaign. I can think of several ways to motivate pro-sausage voting in terms of messaging by linking British bacon to the most offensive faces of Western Imperialism and secular decadence. You know where to find me.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

yes, my passion for this project is in direct relation to the number of sausages katerina brings me in a few hours time. you have been warned.

Comment by andy@cynic

swedish fred. surprised you didnt mention that by adding moose we could get all of the nordic dwellers on our side as well.
see, i can be an intellectual planning man too. not that hard. now try doing an ad.

Comment by andy@cynic

it would appear that we are twenty votes ahead. This is good. Very good.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Andy. Don’t be surprised. By adding ‘moose’ to ‘beef’ you would probably deter a lot of the beef-loving Muslim voters (who would by far outnumber the Nordic moose lovers) given ‘moose’ in the beef-lovers’ minds would fall into the category of bizarre food, not exotic food (read: revolting, not appealing). Cultural sensitivity Andy…cultural sensitivity.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

dear fredrik, you have proved what i have known all along, planners talk shit because having read, re read and re re read your post, i still havent got the faintest idea what the fuck you are talking about.
now do something useful and get your arrogant, 4 eyed boss to call me (where has he been all day?) and contact all of your volvo driving chums to vote sausage. the end is in sight and i now dont just want to win, i want to humiliate.
what was that you were saying about cultural sensitivity?

Comment by andy@cynic

Don’t worry gentlemen, I have emailed my family to vote for you. I have a big family, you will win.

Comment by Katerina

Katerina, we love your big family.

Comment by MarcusBrown

while i appreciate your help k, the even bigger issue is i havent had my daily sausage. where is it? dont you know its now company policy even if mary told you not to feed me.

Comment by andy@cynic

you should marcus, shes russian and her family is probably the fucking mafia. just joking k. sausage.

Comment by andy@cynic

just launched a sausage attack on davies site. i am the sas of the sausage celebration front. (scf)

Comment by andy@cynic

You are a naughty boy Andy. Tut tut.

Comment by Katerina

sorry k

Comment by andy@cynic

no russian traffic as yet. Andy, good honest sausage attack that. Nice action.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Poor Rob. More people have commented on sausages subject than his 10 questions.
What does that say about him eh? Nothing good, I can tell you that for nothing.

Comment by Billy Whizz

i aim to please.
oi k, where’s the commie invasion?

Comment by andy@cynic

JESUS CHRIST … what the hell has been going on! Actually, don’t answer that, I think it best not to know.

Guys, before I go home, can you drag yourself away from my blog [YES ANDY, THIS IS MY BLOG – GO AND PONTIFICATE ON YOURS] and connect to the video conference, need to update you on a few things.

Marcus, hope all works out – what a team we are.

Comment by Rob

Oh God, just realised I now have to go and apologise to Russell. What have you done Andy???

Comment by Rob

what have i done? ive fought for the rights of sausages thats what.
now get connected to the vc, want to hear the update. george isnt in yet, but hell phone in later

Comment by andy@cynic

Hey Marcus, we have your ‘cynic certificate’ but I can’t find your email. Can you send it to me at rob@cynical-world.com

Cheers.

Comment by Rob

rob, sent.

Comment by MarcusBrown

we’re under attack people. the sausage is in front but under attack.

Comment by MarcusBrown

I was just going to bed when I saw your cry for help.

Given Andy is stuck in a meeting [which I can’t stop because it’s the first bit of work he’s done all week] I’m calling up all the sausage reservists and encouraging them for one last push to the finish line.

Don’t worry Marcus … we will fight them at the butchers, we will fight them at the supermarkets. we will never surrender.

Comment by Rob

I can’t log onto your site – so just checked out Russell’s and you’re right – we are under attack.

Saying that, we’re still ahead but with a few hours till closing [just when does this end????] I’ve just emailed some mates at Mother, Naked, Virgin and Channel 5 [all ego maniacs!] and begged them for added support. I am hoping it works. I’ll find out when I wake in a few hours.

Dreaming of sausages!

Comment by Rob

Dearest Andy, You should know we’re on the same side in the sausage debate. I even changed my IP address to enable multiple votes. (I though I ought to mention this to reduce the risk of you having a cholesterol/anger-triggered heart attack as you read on). As for your view on planning (planners talk shit), however, I find it interesting that you try to defame planning while at the same time showing clear evidence of the aspirational status the planning craft enjoys in your mind. “I can be a planning man too”…your words. Are you not happy doing what you do…writing ads? Maybe Rob and you should have a frank and open discussion on your career development. Rob is the kind of guy who loves to help and could give you some great advice. Just a thought.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Dear Fred, I loved reading your reply to Andy however I feel it prudent to warn you that causing him to be apoplectic with rage will probably cause him to have a fatal heart attack, leading to your arrest for manslaughter.

The other problem is that Andy has this horrible habit of being a great creative AND great planner which makes your argument, however funny, futile.

Good luck.

Comment by George

Freddie … Freddie … Freddie … what have you done. I can only protect you so much and this might be a step too far.

Not only that, but I’ve known Andy 16 years and you only 2 … better not make me choose, you might lose, ha!

Comment by Rob

I know Andy is a brilliant creative and I have absolutely no reason to doubt he isn’t a great planner as well. It was Andy’s own words that implied to me he may be interested in spending more time ‘talking shit’ (planning) than writing ads for a change. But I guess the two aren’t mutually exclusive for Andy. Lucky bastard. If I haven’t caused Andy a fatal heart attack by my comment above…and I manage to survive the attempts that will be made on my life by his hitmen…I promise I’ll buy him an extravagant sausage dinner for compensation when I get to meet him. Because if it’s true what they say, ‘time heals all wounds’, I figure there is a small chance I may have that opportunity.

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

WE ONLY WENT AND BLOODY WON!

Comment by MarcusBrown

WE WON … WE WON … WE WON … WE WON …

This could possibly be the proudest moment of my bloody life … it certainly is for Andy … and I’m going to shove a celebratory sausage in my mouth immediately.

Comment by Rob

if my maths are right, we won by… wait for it… 1 vote. Davies will probably demand a recount.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Be smug Marcus … be very, very smug.

Comment by Rob

ONE VOTE … ONE BLOODY VOTE … that makes winning even sweeter!

Not only will Davies demand a recount, he’ll claim we used ‘strong-arm’ tactics to influence voters … to which I’ll say OF COURSE WE DID because no one remembers who came second!

Comment by Rob

Sausages, sausages, sausages!

Comment by Pete

Quite Pete … and I’ve left a suitably victorious message on Mr Davies site.

Comment by Rob

Good comment Rob. Considered and charming. Worthy of a champion. Where’s Andy? Andy we bloody won!

Comment by MarcusBrown

Obviously Andy is not so enthusiastic today as it’s 4am and he’s no doubt snoring for the World.

Comment by Rob

we fucking won? by one vote? thats fucking brilliant. davies will be fucking fuming.
got to go back to bed, im so knackered. i only woke up because i needed to know if we had done enough.well done marcus, you are my hero and well speak soon.

Comment by andy@cynic

george, im not apoplectic (nice choice of word) i actually feel sorry for fred because hes both swedish and a planner.
i mean, how much bad luck can one person get?

Comment by andy@cynic

we fucking won. i am ecstatic. if anyone is after payrises or needs to tell me of fuck ups, today is the day to do it.

Comment by andy@cynic

andy, I salute you. Posting my victory speach now.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Congrats all sausage supporters! (And thanks Andy for expressing your empathy).

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

WE BLOODY WON!

Comment by MarcusBrown

Glad I voted for Sausages now!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Mr. Mortimer, did you ever doubt the power of the wurst?

Comment by MarcusBrown

any cynics who have skype can contact me on marcus.j.h.brown

Comment by MarcusBrown

Marcus you will be inundated with SKYPE requests – you bloomin’ fool.

Just come back from my meeting and 50% of it was spent talking about sausages. It’s the language of business!

Comment by Rob

Andy just SMS’d me … he is desperate to get out of his meeting and ‘join in the fun’.

He really needs to get out more.

Comment by Rob

I’ve just Russell is STILL being a sore loser. What’s going on … he’s a Forest fan, he should be used to it.

Comment by Rob

Rob, some bugger’s only gone and stolen RD’s bike. Really not his day, the poor bugger. Andy, get out of that meeting. Time for skype.

Comment by MarcusBrown

although it will have to be a text-skype-chat thingy. I’ve left my headset at home. The excitement of it all.

Comment by MarcusBrown

bacon has responded.

Comment by MarcusBrown

You are all very, very smug. Stop it.

Comment by Northern Planner

Look at Northern Planner being all responsible. Boo!!!!

Comment by Rob

Bloody bacon fan.

Comment by MarcusBrown

I know I am late on this, but I am so glad we won!

It’s great news especially for those of us signed up to the anti-British community. (Ssssssh, that’s my secret!)

Comment by Billy Whizz

Don’t worry about your secret Billy, we’re all members of the Anti-Billy Movement!

Comment by Rob




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